I feel the oneitis coming on, help me kill it.

[thebestthing]

Alrightttt DJ's, let me start off by saying I don't find myself very attractive. Now, it sounds like I need a healthy dose of self confidence, but let me get to that later.

When I was a little tyke, I was friends with a girl named Chelsea. I'd known her since birth, and our families are closely tied in with each other. I'd go home with her, spend the night with her in the same room, you know stuff that was alright when I was little but wouldn't be acceptable now.

Anyways, somewhere along the lines of 9 years old we just kinda fell out of contact with eachother. She lives about 45 minutes away and I more or less forgot about her. 5 years later, I head on over to her house, and things were awkward at first but we started talking again, and I go over there every couple weeks or so. She's turned into a gorgeous girl, but she's not preppy at all.

We had a school dance the other night, and I sort of forgot about it and to avoid looking for a date, I decided to make it easy by just asking this girl to go with me. So we go, we slow dance twice and dance to the other songs, etc., we go home.

Edit: Whoops, forgot to 'get to it later' like I said. During the dance, a girl that hated me came up to me and asked me "how much I payed her." [my date quickly dealt with her dumb ass, she's kind of a beast at the whole **** talking thing.]
That got me thinking, then I go and I looked at the pictures I took of my date and myself, and I realized.. I am not very attractive at all. Talk about a hit to the self-confidence.

Haven't talked to her much since then, I think she's been pretty busy since she doesn't really text me back too much anymore. Either that or she's avoiding me.
Anyways, ever since this dance I've sort of thought about her more and more, and since the distance and our history makes a relationship sort of difficult, I just don't want to see her that way. I want a strong friendship with her, but not something one-itis obsessive that would end up pushing a life-long friend away.

Save me, DJ's.

 

[thebestthing]

Help?

 

[Natural Vibe]

This seems pretty complicated, and there is no easy way to forget a Oneitis once you get one.

Accepting you have one is the first step.

Cutting contact with the girl is the second step.

***

Forgetting about the girl by meeting other girls is the third step.

That sounds like a drug desintox, because in many ways it is.

Now I want you to go back to ***. The three stars, it's not a swear word. Work on your inner game before you start pursuing any girl I would say. Do things you enjoy. Build confidence. Discover passions. Make new friends. Be social for the sake of being social, do cold approaches. Destroy barriers found inside you. Love your familly. Be with friends. Find yourself. Girls will come to you on their own after that, even her.

But you must forget about this girl for a while. Don't be impressed by her good looks. Good looks on girl is mostly thanks to make-up and fashion style, and some genes.

I understand you want to have a long-friendship with her, but the way things are now, the only thing you aim for is a relationship. That will most likely push the friendship away.

The second step is cutting contact.

Then the 3*. Then the third step.

Once you believe you are in control of yourself, you may re-initiate contact and hang out. After that it's your ball game.