I FeeL So F***KN PATHETIC !!! studerness is killing me

[Latinking13]

i was just on the phone with my girl, the conversation started alright, how are you? blah blah, until i had to talk about my freinds..then she seemed not too care, a boring tone in her voice. Then i told her i wanted to go back to school and i F**fkn studdered so bad, she kina giggled at me, i felt like Sh*T that i told her i had to go, i dont know what she thinks of me now.. i dont know why i get so nervous when i talk, i hate it.. how can i be a better conversator? how do i relieve myself of all this tension, i use to smoke pot or drink for situations like this, but i realize i dont want to rely on that sh*t to make me happy or make me a better person, anyways help me out here, im a pathetic newbie, any advice????

 

[LostAndConfused]

I stutter randomly too...not that often, but it sometimes just happens....like I mean to say something and I change my mind so halfway through the word I say the word I *want* to say then it just comes out as a stutter. I also notice I stutter when I'm talking to people who either don't like me, aren't interested in me, or I'm trying to win interest with. The latter might apply to you.

Do you stutter as much with your friends? If the answer is no, then you probably are just uneasy around her. You are more calm and collected around friends, so when you talk to this girl you are uptight, and a mistake would cause you to stutter. Relax.

Also, if you do stutter very occasionally, try to play it off. Repeat your sentence calmly and clearly as if she didn't hear you the first time.

 

[Latinking13]

I stutter randomly too...not that often, but it sometimes just happens....like I mean to say something and I change my mind so halfway through the word I say the word I *want* to say then it just comes out as a stutter. I also notice I stutter when I'm talking to people who either don't like me, aren't interested in me, or I'm trying to win interest with. The latter might apply to you.

Do you stutter as much with your friends? If the answer is no, then you probably are just uneasy around her. You are more calm and collected around friends, so when you talk to this girl you are uptight, and a mistake would cause you to stutter. Relax.

Also, if you do stutter very occasionally, try to play it off. Repeat your sentence calmly and clearly as if she didn't hear you the first time.

thats wats killin me, i studder around my freinds sometimes too..like i got some speech problem

thats why when i was in school i would be quiet and not talk cuz sometiimes i would get laughed at

 

[LostAndConfused]

Well then I know some people here are going to suggest a speech therapist. If you have the money, go for it. My friend got a speech therapist when he was 11-12, and now hes probably the biggest player/don juan at my whole school, from that speech and other improvements.

If you don't wanna spend money on it though, try google searching any methods to reduce stuttering. (If you find something you think is helpful, feel free to pm it to me lol )

Going deeper into your situation, you might have some confidence issues, so thats a heads up. Try to be more willing to step out of your comfort zone and make mistakes. Don't get angry if people laugh at you. It happens.

 

[Interceptor]

LK.
you "stutter" because

you may be looking for permission
you may be looking for approval
you may be hoping someone is interested in your ideas
you aren't truly convinced of your ideas
you aren't congruent with your ideas
you are ashamed for some reason in expressing your ideas
you are too concerned with people judging your ideas
you are too concerend that your ideas are not perhaps commonplace, therefore out of the norm
you simply do not have the conviction in expressing your ideas
you are embarassed of yourself when expressing yourself


You must understand that your unique IDEAS, are what makes YOU , YOU.
Do not feel guilty for being yourself and having your OWN UNIQUE ideas.

Do not feel ashamed of your own UNIQUE ideas.

Do not apologize for having your own ideas, opinions, and preferences.

That is your IDENTITY.

YOUR IDENTTY,LK.

Do not be ashamed, embarassed, or feel guilty for DISPLAYING YOUR IDENTITY,LK

Your SELF WORTH must be recognized. BUT.you're the only one that NEEDS to recognize it.
Understand?

You do not have to NEED others to recognize it.

If they DO, consider it a gift, and be appreciative that other people see how cool, unique, interesting, and valueable you are.


But you cannot hinge your sense of self worth on THEM!!!!!



You must learn how toi be independent of others opinions of you.
You cannot seek approval or permission or validition.

Stick to your goals, and work on achiieving them.
THEN you will build Self Esteem, and the more Self Esteem you have the MORE CONFIDENCE you will gain.

 

[Andromax]

Some people just stutter. Just cause you stutter doesn't mean its reducing your attrativeness. If you play it off like it aint no thing, and don't get all ashamed, and can laugh at it, it will A; make you look more confident because you don't care, you are that sure of yourself. B; be a self fulfilling prophecy in that, stuttering doesn't bother you, your anxiety will go down, and you wont stutter anymore. And even if you do occassionally so what. Do you think if Tom Cruise stuttered infront of a chick it would spoil his game in the slightest? please.

Just play it off like everything else that does go wrong. You may not be able to controll some blunders, but you can spin them in a way that makes it funny or shows you are confident enough to deal with it.

I read an article on here that was explaining how gorillas display their dominance by showing off things to mates that might be considered detrimental, is such as a handycap or something along those lines. Some may consider this a weakness but in reality it says "I can survive, and spread my seed even with this weakness." Along those lines anyways..

I can't remember what the thread was but it was all scientific etc, so keep that in mind.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Some people just stutter. Just cause you stutter doesn't mean its reducing your attrativeness. If you play it off like it aint no thing, and don't get all ashamed, and can laugh at it, it will A; make you look more confident because you don't care, you are that sure of yourself. B; be a self fulfilling prophecy in that, stuttering doesn't bother you, your anxiety will go down, and you wont stutter anymore. And even if you do occassionally so what. Do you think if Tom Cruise stuttered infront of a chick it would spoil his game in the slightest? please.

Just play it off like everything else that does go wrong. You may not be able to controll some blunders, but you can spin them in a way that makes it funny or shows you are confident enough to deal with it.

I read an article on here that was explaining how gorillas display their dominance by showing off things to mates that might be considered detrimental, is such as a handycap or something along those lines. Some may consider this a weakness but in reality it says "I can survive, and spread my seed even with this weakness." Along those lines anyways..

I can't remember what the thread was but it was all scientific etc, so keep that in mind.

Uh I don't see how stuttering doesn't reduce attractiveness. Its one of the biggest indicators of low-self confidence. Everyone here says "oh girls can see right through low *internal* self confidence, so there is no point in putting up a false front of confidence..." An external sign would be even more dramatic.

I'll rail off just a few signs of low-confidence, that I see in others. Stuttering is one I still have to work on:

*Failure to make eye contact
*Hands in Pockets, in a reserved manner
*Head down
*Shy, jittering, showing signs of anxiety
*Speaking low and quiet
*Stuttering.

Stuttering easily falls in the same category as those other factors. Why would a girl want that?

 

[Latinking13]

Uh I don't see how stuttering doesn't reduce attractiveness. Its one of the biggest indicators of low-self confidence. Everyone here says "oh girls can see right through low *internal* self confidence, so there is no point in putting up a false front of confidence..." An external sign would be even more dramatic.

I'll rail off just a few signs of low-confidence, that I see in others. Stuttering is one I still have to work on:

*Failure to make eye contact
*Hands in Pockets, in a reserved manner
*Head down
*Shy, jittering, showing signs of anxiety
*Speaking low and quiet
*Stuttering.

Stuttering easily falls in the same category as those other factors. Why would a girl want that?

thats what i thought, girls can see insecurities and thats what worries me she might see right through me, because i know women want a MAN not some insecure studdering chump

 

[Andromax]

Uh I don't see how stuttering doesn't reduce attractiveness.

It certaintly doesn't do anything to help LostAndConfused..

However, stuttering can be genetic and also often brought on by anxiety.

However, if someone doesn't have any control over whether they stutter or not, ie genetic speech impediment... playing it off like you don't care that other people see you stutter, (ie being/acting confident about it) will definately help mitigate or negate the perception that the stuttering is because you are nervous as hell about talking to them.

 

[Andromax]

thats what i thought, girls can see insecurities and thats what worries me she might see right through me, because i know women want a MAN not some insecure studdering chump

Yes women can see insecurities. She can see right through you... to a point.

You can BS a BSer you just have to be good at it. Believe in yourself. Don't care about what a chick thinks of you when you talk to her. If you stutter.. ITS NOT THE FINAL NAIL IN YOUR COFFIN for that interaction/female, unless you make it that way by getting flustered... apologizing... hanging up... ie losing your cool.. just laugh it off like you don't give a rats ass, cause you shouldn't.

Some people stutter, Some people don't.

Just because you occasionally stutter doesn't mean you're a pvssy.

Acting like a pvssy makes you a pvssy.

 

[Latinking13]

Yes women can see insecurities. She can see right through you... to a point.

You can BS a BSer you just have to be good at it. Believe in yourself. Don't care about what a chick thinks of you when you talk to her. If you stutter.. ITS NOT THE FINAL NAIL IN YOUR COFFIN for that interaction/female, unless you make it that way by getting flustered... apologizing... hanging up... ie losing your cool.. just laugh it off like you don't give a rats ass, cause you shouldn't.

Some people stutter, Some people don't.

Just because you occasionally stutter doesn't mean you're a pvssy.

Acting like a pvssy makes you a pvssy.

ok ok, i will try to keep my cool next time

but i woud like to know how to conversate better cuz i suck at it...

i would be on the fone with her, not knowing what to talk about, and that kind of kills the conversation....any pointers ?

 

[Andromax]

DJ Bible son..


Scroll down to step 7, study up.

Learn.
Apply.

 

[Latinking13]

Uh I don't see how stuttering doesn't reduce attractiveness. Its one of the biggest indicators of low-self confidence. Everyone here says "oh girls can see right through low *internal* self confidence, so there is no point in putting up a false front of confidence..." An external sign would be even more dramatic.

I'll rail off just a few signs of low-confidence, that I see in others. Stuttering is one I still have to work on:

*Failure to make eye contact
*Hands in Pockets, in a reserved manner
*Head down
*Shy, jittering, showing signs of anxiety
*Speaking low and quiet
*Stuttering.

Stuttering easily falls in the same category as those other factors. Why would a girl want that?

those are my main problems, as for having ma head down, occasionally

 

[Interceptor]

ok ok, i will try to keep my cool next time

but i woud like to know how to conversate better cuz i suck at it...

i would be on the fone with her, not knowing what to talk about, and that kind of kills the conversation....any pointers ?

Well, first learn how to spell, punctuate, and use proper grammar.
Second, if you adress your personality first, then everything esle falls into place.
IN order to have the BEST "outer game" , you MUST HAVE EXCEPTIONAL 'INNER GAME".

Did you bother reading my post?
It's ok, be honest, LK.

 

[Latinking13]

Well, first learn how to spell, punctuate, and use proper grammar.
Second, if you adress your personality first, then everything esle falls into place.
IN order to have the BEST "outer game" , you MUST HAVE EXCEPTIONAL 'INNER GAME".

Did you bother reading my post?
It's ok, be honest, LK.

yeah, sorry i just read it.

 

[ILikeGirls<3]

You think this is bad? Facial twitches are much worse. Facial twitches can cause you to frown or even sneer when you don't want to. I find relaxing helps the most, not like breathing exercises, actually relaxing and feeling comfortable.

 

[Latinking13]

You think this is bad? Facial twitches are much worse. Facial twitches can cause you to frown or even sneer when you don't want to. I find relaxing helps the most, not like breathing exercises, actually relaxing and feeling comfortable.

wow that must suck, but women like a man who can carry a conversation still

 

[rushing dude 123]

same problem man. U need to relax and u should not avoid convosations, seek them and it will reduce.