I feel my old oneitis coming back

[TheBaconator]

WTF to do here.

My ex from a couple months ago talks to me as a friend. Numerous times i've given her the cold shoulder practically but I do respond just to "show her" that i'm over her and not be a petty basdard. But now talking to her I think of her more and get sad thinking about her with other dudes. I know it's a far cry from DJ mentality, I just miss her company. I miss the sex, always having something and someone to do every weekend and having someone care about me as corny as that sounds.

I'm also dealing with living alone for the first time in my life, and although i've banged a couple girls since the breakup, none of them come close to her in the sack or personality wise. I just feel like i'm missing out.

What do I do? I figure prolly cut off all contact, but what do I do if she calls or something? It will just placate her ego if I ignore her, by letting her know i'm still thinking of her in a way.

I duno what i'm expecting in writing this, just some tips, stories about exes, advice. Feeling crappy now.

 

[TheBaconator]

Bump.

 

[TheBaconator]

All these views and still no replies??

I'm heading out now but hopefully by tonight I get something. What did you guys do to get over your oneitis?

 

[HBK]

If she calls and asks how you are, tell her your doing fine, your life is busy, your going out this weekend and have plans made. Make sure you have things to do and keep yourself busy and active. If your going to niteclubs or bars then get chatting to a few chicks. Its the end of the week, you have worked hard enjoy yourself! You really need to chill out and realise that your young in life many ups and downs. You will learn from this. Dont let a woman drag you down. Its not helping if your calling back and forth, your in the LJBF zone and its where your going to stay. You need to get chatting to new more interesting chicks. I know what your feeling but its natural, all your missing is sex, the company of somebody to talk to besides the lads. Last time i looked outside my window i saw plenty of hot chickeronies. Forget this girl

 

[scottfall]

WTF to do here.

My ex from a couple months ago talks to me as a friend. Numerous times i've given her the cold shoulder practically but I do respond just to "show her" that i'm over her and not be a petty basdard. But now talking to her I think of her more and get sad thinking about her with other dudes. I know it's a far cry from DJ mentality, I just miss her company. I miss the sex, always having something and someone to do every weekend and having someone care about me as corny as that sounds.

I'm also dealing with living alone for the first time in my life, and although i've banged a couple girls since the breakup, none of them come close to her in the sack or personality wise. I just feel like i'm missing out.

What do I do? I figure prolly cut off all contact, but what do I do if she calls or something? It will just placate her ego if I ignore her, by letting her know i'm still thinking of her in a way.

I duno what i'm expecting in writing this, just some tips, stories about exes, advice. Feeling crappy now.

You have to find balance within your current situation with this girl. No amount of outward wanting will get this girl back. Use the wanting you have to force yourself to DJ this girl. When she calls, talk to her, build rapport and create attraction. Your ex calling you shows that you still have something to offer her, even if it is just validation.

My point is, shes giving you opportunities to game her so take her up on it.. whats the worse that can happen? Just stay grounded in reality.. she dosent want you right now and theres nothing you can do to MAKE her want you.

Also, like HBK said.. start gaming other girls.. use it as practice to gaming your ex(or one of the other millions of girls out there that are just as good if not better than your ex).

 

[Warrior74]

cut her off. move on. who cares what she thinks.

 

[TheBaconator]

You have to find balance within your current situation with this girl. No amount of outward wanting will get this girl back. Use the wanting you have to force yourself to DJ this girl. When she calls, talk to her, build rapport and create attraction. Your ex calling you shows that you still have something to offer her, even if it is just validation.

My point is, shes giving you opportunities to game her so take her up on it.. whats the worse that can happen? Just stay grounded in reality.. she dosent want you right now and theres nothing you can do to MAKE her want you.

Also, like HBK said.. start gaming other girls.. use it as practice to gaming your ex(or one of the other millions of girls out there that are just as good if not better than your ex).

I really don't think she is at all. Because about 2 months ago I did try to game her and she told me she didn't want that.

It's a complex situation though. I lost the only person who was closer to me then we used to be, my grandma, and she came to the hospital a couple times and was there for me sort of. She kept reassuring me in subtle ways though that she has moved on, and we did kiss once when i was really upset and told each other we love one another, but when I tried to kiss her again when she left she pushed me off and told me she didn't wanna give me the wrong idea.

She calls to see how I'm doing and stuff, see if I'm ok now that I'm alone since my gma passed.

 

[TheBaconator]

cut her off. move on. who cares what she thinks.

I guess I just feel like a duchebag for cutting her off when she's trying to be nice. Like i'm being a big baby.

Should I just come out and tell her that the only type of relationship I would want with her is beyond a friends level? Is there a shot in that? If yes what's a non AFC way to ask such a thing?

 

[TheBaconator]

bump

 

[Alle_Gory]

I guess I just feel like a duchebag for cutting her off when she's trying to be nice. Like i'm being a big baby.

Real nice? Or 'give me attention' nice?

If she wants to be friends, then sure why not. Otherwise its best to move on. Its a closed door. If you want to try later, after you get rid of the AFC, yes you are an AFC, then make an elegant exit and pick up later.

Should I just come out and tell her that the only type of relationship I would want with her is beyond a friends level? Is there a shot in that? If yes what's a non AFC way to ask such a thing?

Have you taken martial arts? Do you see the fighters voicing the moves before they do them? No. They just go ahead, and do their thing according to the rules. Why voice your intentions ahead of time? She already has an idea. Don't give up the plan, and telegraph your moves. With anybody. Removes the surprise. Boring.


Read the bible. Apply the bible. Become the bible. Its all true... unfortunately. But once you learn the rules, you can play the game.

 

[TheBaconator]

All_Gory, I think it's real nice, which is why I'm finding it hard to swat her away even though I probably should. I'm just in a bad state right now, and when I talk to her I get reminiscent of having a relationship.

And I really haven't given her any signs of wanting to be with her recently. The last time I did was months ago, and she told me she didn't want to lead me on. I don't know if it was just because I was in a really bad emotional state dealing with my grandma and she didn't wanna get into a relationship or if she was just not interested at all.

I never made contact with her, she kept calling me multiple times a week to see if I was ok and finally I returned a call by being polite, and thinking maybe she was interested again. I was very brief and just said thanks for thinking of me and didn't initate contact again.

Now she just ims me everytime i'm online but talks friendly. Even asked me about good bars/clubs. So I don't know now if she's interested or not. I've been trying to push her away and she did apoligise for the way she treated me, but still I don't know what her intentions are, and how to relay to her that i'm not looking for a friendly relationship with her.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Sounds like real interest then.

Tough situation. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.