I feel like such a sucker !

[curiouscat]

Today I feel like such an idiot ! I have close to no experience with women and every time I try to stick my neck out I fail miserably.

I approached a girl two days ago and yesterday evening I invited her to a coffee and after meeting some friends of her there, we were invited to their place.

We then spent the whole night dancing and drinking (she is Ethiopian and those guys party HARD !). I don’t go out often so it was difficult for me to physically relax and I think she noticed me, she told me several time to “relax”.

At some moments during the night I had the feeling she tried to test me like when she asked me to massage her feet and I refused telling her to massage me first (also mainly because I have zero experience and don’t even know how to do that).

I thought she was really into me so I made my move and tried to kiss her but she told me that “she just met me” so I just pretended nothing happened the rest of the evening.

In the morning, we left her friend’s place and that’s were things turned bad, on the way back she told me she had a family bbq planned and she needed to get a cheap “formal top” for the evening.

I showed her a clothing shop near my place (It was on my way back home anyway so I figured why not ? I show her this shop then I continue my way back home).

My big mistake was to go inside with her, when she found what she wanted and went to the cashier, she told me that there was a problem with her card and she asked me to pay it with my card.

When she asked me this I was surprised but she asked it so asually Ifigured she would just offer to reimburse me after… wich she didn’t !

When she left the shop she didn’t even mention it, it’s just a 26$ shirt but I feel like a complete idiot. This girl is absolutely gorgeous so she might have a sense of self entitlement here and I am pretty mad at myself for having given in.

Later on before we left I made another big mistake, I mentioned the fact that I wanted to kiss her the evening before and I asked her if she felt the same way about me, she said not yet but the offered me to see her again next week.

I don’t know if I should try to see heror contact her again, I feel like I acted like a complete fool, for some reason I found myself completely unable to follow my better judgment and she took advantage of it. I really want to kick myself right now. What should I do ?

 

[Ronaldo7]

Lmao! This has to be a troll. Once a loser, always a loser.

 

[Tiguere]

Nope thats it. She already lost respect for you. When you bought that shirt you practically destroyed your chances. She sees you now as a provider. Delete delete delete

 

[curiouscat]

Lmao! This has to be a troll. Once a loser, always a loser.

Thanks for making me feel even worst that I already do, that helps a lot

 

[Smok1nAce]

not getting a kiss wasn't that bad, but you shouldn't have brought it up the next day, but buying her a shirt, mane you messed up. You should see her again, just to see if you still have a chance. See what the vibe is and try your luck again, if not then next. and learn for your mistakes.

 

[jay07]

Welp. My .02

2 options-

1. Text her tomorrow asking for the money for the shirt. Something like "so with interest you owe me $26.50 and another foot massage". If she thinks your a sucker shell be caught off guard, might get respect back, way i see it you have nothing to lose at this point.

2. Make her your best friend and get on her friends

 

[curiouscat]

Welp. My .02

2 options-

1. Text her tomorrow asking for the money for the shirt. Something like "so with interest you owe me $26.50 and another foot massage". If she thinks your a sucker shell be caught off guard, might get respect back, way i see it you have nothing to lose at this point.

2. Make her your best friend and get on her friends

I was actually thinking of option 1, option good is actually a pretty good idea, she has a lot of hot friends.

I know I messed up for the shirt, when you are kind with people in general you expect them to think the same way you do... only to get screwed most of the time because they don't follow the same set of rules.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Welp. My .02

2 options-

1. Text her tomorrow asking for the money for the shirt. Something like "so with interest you owe me $26.50 and another foot massage". If she thinks your a sucker shell be caught off guard, might get respect back, way i see it you have nothing to lose at this point.

2. Make her your best friend and get on her friends

Good advice.

If she's gorgeous you can always use her for social proof. Don't think you really did anything too bad here. So you helped her out, it was only $26. When the time is right just make sure she knows it wasn't a gift. She owes you now. She made herself look like a b1tch by not even offering to pay you back. Asking her about how she feels about kissing you, giving her that power to decide was a mistake, especially after her pulling that $hit... but, still, no big deal.

Not giving her a foot massage was an A+, sh1t test you passed with flying colors. Also, I feel showing her where the clothing store was was a good move, you took the lead.

I would either leave it alone for a while or text her like Jay07 said. Just play it cool, no need to have to hurry up and prove yourself. You don't want to come across as cheap or annoying. Hopefully she'll send you a text thanking you for "saving" her. That would be a good time to bring it up.

Now at least you know not to go shopping with her anymore.

And that Ronaldo guy, he's a troll, I wouldn't take any "advice" he says to heart.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Good advice.

If she's gorgeous you can always use her for social proof. Don't think you really did anything too bad here. So you helped her out, it was only $26. When the time is right just make sure she knows it wasn't a gift. She owes you now. She made herself look like a b1tch by not even offering to pay you back. Asking her about how she feels about kissing you, giving her that power to decide was a mistake, especially after her pulling that $hit... but, still, no big deal.

Not giving her a foot massage was an A+, sh1t test you passed with flying colors. Also, I feel showing her where the clothing store was was a good move, you took the lead.

I would either leave it alone for a while or text her like Jay07 said. Just play it cool, no need to have to hurry up and prove yourself. You don't want to come across as cheap or annoying. Hopefully she'll send you a text thanking you for "saving" her. That would be a good time to bring it up.

Now at least you know not to go shopping with her anymore.

And that Ronaldo guy, he's a troll, I wouldn't take any "advice" he says to heart.

You must surely understand how this could be a troll.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You must surely understand how this could be a troll.

Could not be as well.

 

[curiouscat]

its unfortunately not a troll, like I said I have close to zero experience with women and I have this really bad habit to be overly nice with people, I guess fear of rejection is at the root of it.

Anyways, I take it as an expensive lesson and use it as a reminder that often when you give people an inch they will take a yard later on.

 

[like2jam]

Well, when she asked you to go inside, you should have said no, I'll wait here. When she asked you to pay, you should have said... 'we just met'.

Don't feel bad though. You chumped a bit, but you have to in order to learn. You won't be making those mistakes again.

She definitely owes you one.

 

[ludis]

She definitely owes you one.

I agree.
Whether you contact her or she contacts you, try to keep a frame that she has to prove herself to you.
Keep it light and playful.

 

[curiouscat]

so I figured I had nothing to lose and sent her a text :

Me : so when can I expect the 26$ plus a ashoulder and neck massage ?

her : what ? I don't understand

Me : yes, you remember whe had to use my card for the top ? I usually loan win an interest rate of infinity but for you it will just be a shoulder and neck massage, I told you i'm a nice person

And still no answer, so she probably thought it was completely normal for me to pay this shirt for her and was offended by the fact that I mentionned it, if it's the case I definitely don't want this kind of girl.

This whole thing really made me understand that it is more important to stick to your principles than to give in to a pretty face.

Tomorrow I will try to approach women again and one thing is certain, I won't make the same mistake twice !

I might be dumb and pathetic at times but I don't ever give up.

 

[Ronaldo7]

If this isn't a troll, this has got to be the most blatant loser in this world. I'm gonna just check this thread for the LOLs. Hahaha.

 

[curiouscat]

If this isn't a troll, this has got to be the most blatant loser in this world. I'm gonna just check this thread for the LOLs. Hahaha.

this guy's retarded comments really start to annoy me.

Ronaldo7 excuse me for being a mere mortal and not an infallible demigod like you but please, have pity on me and illuminate me with your infinite wisdom because if you find it fit to gratuitoulsy insult other people, it must be because you are an example of perfection that we should all aim for

 

[curiouscat]

btw she actually called me and apologized, she offered to pay me the 26$ back but I refused, it's done and I won't run after 26$ i've got my pride.

She also wants to call me again tomorrow, I don't know if I should just next her tough... anyways, case closed and I still learned a valuable lesson.

 

[jay07]

eh shouldnt have added the smileys and stuff. But youre right, dont run after the money. That doesnt mean don't take it if she offers. If she offers you the money just say something like "yea thanks, im glad i could lend it to you". Its your money you worked for.

Shes obviously used to guys paying for her, dont fall into the category of every guy and let her slide, or youll turn into an orbiter like the rest of them.

I suggest not initiating contact with her first for a while. Let her initiate, and start acting busy. You've probably already been friend zoned, so if she has social gatherings and you get an invite use it to your advantage to meet other chicks. Although, shell probably get jealous your giving your attention to her friends and start flirting to get your hopes up. Politely brush these passes off and go about your business with these other women. Sometimes you just have to make the best out of a missed opportunity.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She's a user. She was never going to pay you back the money anyway. She's not LTR material and not worth taking on any more dates. If she continues to call you invite her over to your place for drinks and a movie. Hit it and quit it.

 

[Ronaldo7]

this guy's retarded comments really start to annoy me.

Ronaldo7 excuse me for being a mere mortal and not an infallible demigod like you but please, have pity on me and illuminate me with your infinite wisdom because if you find it fit to gratuitoulsy insult other people, it must be because you are an example of perfection that we should all aim for

It annoys you because you know its true.

You shouldn't buy anything for any broad. Plain and simple. When they complain that i don't get them anything and such, i always tell them that they have the best gift they could possibly have, which is myself. If you buy them something once, it will become a constant thing. You need to be the user, not the used.