I feel like I lost the frame, how do I get it back?

[Grounded eagle]

Here's some more info. I just came back from a 1 week trip where I was working as a tennis coach, before that we had not seen eachother for 1 week. I come back, we have not seen eachother for 2 weeks. My gf and her friend (who I know pretty well) came into the city to enjoy theirselves and she didn't reach out to me to meetup. I had told her I even had bought a gift to her. Next day she comes back to the city to look at an apartment. I ask if she wants to grab lunch (on me) she says no because she would arrive in the evening. So I ask if I can buy her dinner, she responds 30 min later saying no because her sister is coming along (who I also know very well). I don't get why we can't hangout just bc her sister is joining us?? We could have just gotten a coffe or something. So thats 2 rejections in a row. The next day I ask her if she wants to hangout someday this week and again she says no because she has to study and work... Like do you not want to see your SO when you haven't met in over 2 weeks? WTF?? I think this is a sign that her IL is decreasing, now that I didn't give her the attention she is used to she blocks me and now she texts me if I still love her... I think she had just gotten too much frame and too ****y, she really doesn't want to lose me.

If someone is important to you, you make time for them.Make of that what you will.

 

[metalwater]

Let's be honest, this GF is not ignoring OP because she is "trying to pass college." That isn't something that a high-interest woman does. People get busy -- but not talking and blocking him on Snapchat? Come on.

You seem to take issue with the advice specifically to go out and bang other women. I will agree with you to an extent that I, personally, am simply not ready for that kind of thing at the end of an LTR. However, it works for some, and it isn't "doom and gloom." Again, it is a tactic to get your brain to remember "hey, there are OTHER women out there besides my ex - she ISN'T the last/greatest woman in the world."

That sounds like very level advice.

@Jake_Gyllenhaal69 I also am against breaking promises if any exist. In what I suggested I specifically told is OP's choice, but simply to revalidate to only himself that he has such a choice.

It is more for his spirit than to save any relationship. he might be able to buy or beg or submit and keep her for longer but the quality of his life will be lacking. Most men do not feel good when they are forced into submission from a woman. I know it first hand.

The girl probably is not bad, but university is of higher priority to her, assuming that's all it is. That's fine, if OP wants to keep her long-term and be happy about it he needs to be ok inside about her priority. Clearly, he wants her to prioritize him over all else as most men want. The reason for the question.

It's not about getting her back it is about him being ok with how the world works, if she really chooses him that's ok as long as he wants her.

Any woman that has found "the one..." will simply drop her entire world to be with him and that is what most every man wants deep inside. This woman is not going to do that for him at this time. He needs to be ok with that, fastest way to break oneitis is another woman or to actually catch her cheating.

Following married red pill advice would strengthen his position if she is on the fence or even out of the yard. At the same time, it will also help him if this woman does not work out for him to filter any new ones.

Remember, deep deep down, women are attracted to greed, not generosity. just how it is.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Let's be honest, this GF is not ignoring OP because she is "trying to pass college." That isn't something that a high-interest woman does. People get busy -- but not talking and blocking him on Snapchat? Come on.

You seem to take issue with the advice specifically to go out and bang other women. I will agree with you to an extent that I, personally, am simply not ready for that kind of thing at the end of an LTR. However, it works for some, and it isn't "doom and gloom." Again, it is a tactic to get your brain to remember "hey, there are OTHER women out there besides my ex - she ISN'T the last/greatest woman in the world."

I'm referring to the first post of the OP, Idk what he did after it, but his OP is the basis of my argument. Based off his OP alone, did he really need to drop his girl/cheat on his gf or just simply give her some space for a max of one week?

 

[dude99]

Here's some more info. I just came back from a 1 week trip where I was working as a tennis coach, before that we had not seen eachother for 1 week. I come back, we have not seen eachother for 2 weeks. My gf and her friend (who I know pretty well) came into the city to enjoy theirselves and she didn't reach out to me to meetup. I had told her I even had bought a gift to her. Next day she comes back to the city to look at an apartment. I ask if she wants to grab lunch (on me) she says no because she would arrive in the evening. So I ask if I can buy her dinner, she responds 30 min later saying no because her sister is coming along (who I also know very well). I don't get why we can't hangout just bc her sister is joining us?? We could have just gotten a coffe or something. So thats 2 rejections in a row. The next day I ask her if she wants to hangout someday this week and again she says no because she has to study and work... Like do you not want to see your SO when you haven't met in over 2 weeks? WTF?? I think this is a sign that her IL is decreasing, now that I didn't give her the attention she is used to she blocks me and now she texts me if I still love her... I think she had just gotten too much frame and too ****y, she really doesn't want to lose me.

Clearly a sign of low interest. If she keeps rejecting you over and over and over, the message is pretty clear.

This isn't toxic no matter what that other user said. I would stop wasting time on an investment that is yielding no return.

 

[dude99]

She texted me asking if I still love her just now and i responed asying I do

Ignore.

 

[dude99]

What if our exes contact us back out of nowhere? How do you and other people respond to old exes who treated you poorly + disrespectful and throw you to the curb. Do you ever give them chance back , and is it really worth it?

ignore. Delete.