I feel like God wants me to be alone or something... This is almost unreal

[Brighty]

I'm a junior in high school right now and my last girlfriend was in seventh grade. That's four years ago. Four goddamn years. That isn't to say that there hasn't been mutual interest between me and another girl (this has been the case a lot of times), but somehow or another I always manage to screw it up.

Really, its so discouraging. I'm socially awkward and in the worst position. The worst part is, I'm tall, good looking (or 'cute'), and I have a great personality and I've developed a good (or popular) reputation in the school. I'm generally nice to everyone and its easy for me to talk to my guy friends, but honestly, when it comes to girls, I'm a wreck.

Here's the scenario that usually happens quite frequently for me.

- I talk to a girl/meet her and there is mutual interest
- Things go well between us starting off
- In the hall and in class I'll look at her and then when we make eye contact I'll look away... I have no idea why. Maybe its just become a natural reaction for me by now. Whenever I make eye contact with a girl that I'm not talking to, I look away immediately.
- Then I get embarassed about coming off as a complete pvssy and the girl starts to distance herself


Eventually its gotten bad to the point where this one girl and I always look at each other in the hallway and look away without speaking to each other, and we've been doing this for like three months. Its like we look for eye contact, but as soon as we get it, we look away.

And then there's the conversation part. I've found that 7/10 times I sound unsure of myself or I run out of things to talk about and I'm generally just really awkward in the conversation.

Honestly, I don't know whats wrong with me. Its like I wasn't there the day in kindergarden when everyone was taught how to talk to girls and how to not be awkward. I feel so hopeless, I tried to change myself numerous times (as you can see by my posts) but in the end I'm still as bad as I was two years ago with girls. Some of you guys can't imagine how discouraging it is.. and I really want to change and make the most of my high school years, I feel like they're just slipping by and by this time next year, I will be close to graduating.

Can anyone give me any advice, any ways to change? Videos, readings, e-books, anything? I want to change. I want to change so bad.

 

[tick37]

It sounds like your problem is self-talk. You said you feel unsure of yourself, and no one else is going to make you feel sure. You need to work on yourself before you worry about girls. You have to go into these situations knowing that you are a great guy. That any one of the girls you see at school would be lucky to have you. Do you have what it takes? Ask yourself if you have what it takes. Tell yourself you have what it takes. No one will believe you're a great guy until you believe it. Once you believe it, most likely other people will be convinced, too.

You are the catch, not them. Once you believe they are the catch, you'll always fall short.

You shouldn't be looking for happiness in women. They can add to your happiness, but they should never be your happiness. Don't look for validation and affirmation from women because if you don't already feel assured in yourself, they never will.

 

[Interceptor]

Brighty, you are only 17.

You haven't even begun to LIVE!

Dude, RELAX, man. Chill.

It's not the end of the world.

And stop beign so fatalistic and iover dramatic.

Read the Book of Pook.

Start hitting the gym and lifting wieghts.
Maintain discipline in exercise and eating right.

Start training Martial Arts

Start doing daily meditation/breathing/self hipnosys for fastest results

Learn about Zen and Taoism

Investigate maybe doing some Yoga

Go to the beach and the great outdoors and look and observe nature.


Be friendly with ALL people, be SOCIAL with ALL people.

Perhaps take up a creative hobby like the guitar, or drums, or painting.

 

[jdawgmcb]

Read the book "The 48 laws of Power"

Also, it may be time to change your physical appearance, and social reputation.

If you are someone that has potentially good grades, it may "seem" like you have a good reputation, but, most people will only come on to you because they want something.

If it's really bad and making you depressed, start reading the DJ Bible and the Mystery Method, and once you think you are comfortable enough to follow the concepts of the two, then it might be time to transfer schools, and develop a completely new reputation.

 

[DonJuan11]

Here's the scenario that usually happens quite frequently for me.

- I talk to a girl/meet her and there is mutual interest
- Things go well between us starting off
- In the hall and in class I'll look at her and then when we make eye contact I'll look away... I have no idea why. Maybe its just become a natural reaction for me by now. Whenever I make eye contact with a girl that I'm not talking to, I look away immediately.
- Then I get embarassed about coming off as a complete pvssy and the girl starts to distance herself

Check your ego at the door. Since you are tall and good looking, you never want to put your ego on the line and have it stomped on in case the girl rejects you. You'd rather be friends with the girl than make a move and risk rejection and be embarrassed.

Eventually its gotten bad to the point where this one girl and I always look at each other in the hallway and look away without speaking to each other, and we've been doing this for like three months. Its like we look for eye contact, but as soon as we get it, we look away.

Whoa slow down it down cowboy. Three months of eye contact sounds like you are rushing things

And then there's the conversation part. I've found that 7/10 times I sound unsure of myself or I run out of things to talk about and I'm generally just really awkward in the conversation.

Read, read and read. Educate yourself. Ask her questions, follow up on the questions. Show genuine interest in her. Have something in common. You have to be so good that she doesn't want to walk away from the conversation.

Can anyone give me any advice, any ways to change? Videos, readings, e-books, anything? I want to change. I want to change so bad.

Dude if you are tall and good looking, you have it better than most. Man up!

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[Birdem]

Stop being so insecure that's why you are looking away. If you don't have anything more to say just end the conversation there, when you talk to people you are going to have to eventually close the conversation. Think about how you were different in the 7th grade and now.