I feel like an idiot

[alphaace]

About eight months ago I got out of a LTR (5 years). For the past eight months I havnt really persued any women because I've been just basically getting over my "one-itus". Just recently I got into a relationship with someone that I really like and really enjoy being around. But a big problem for me is that I have no idea on how to act. Its been so long since I have been in this situation. My LTR started my freshmen year of highschool so I guess I missed out on the whole learning curve as far women is concerned. With this new relationship (Which began last sunday) we havnt really done much other then the standard stuff. We've kissed, watched some movies in my apartment, went on like two dates. Honestly, my biggest problem is that she is a few years younger than I am. She is 18 and I am 21. Im just trying to get her to know that Im not here just for sex, that I actually want a good relationship. But at the same time, I am male, and I do want sex, lol. The only things I know about her past relationships is what one of her friends have told me, which are "she is just really shy because she really likes you" and "she's never been with a "nice guy"". And yes, I am a "nice guy" =/

After reading what I have wrote, I do understand that its only been a week and I shouldn't be so hard pressed about getting some. But I also feel that if I keep acting the way I do I probably wont get any for awhile if at all.

I guess what im asking is what should I do/say to her just to give her a small indication of what I want.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Is she a virgin?

 

[marinetti]

*sigh* over and over, people keep asking for the same advice here......

read the DJ bootcamp pdf, and do the 8 week program. this will give you a basic structure for dating women.

you seem like a nice kid, so here's a bit more.

you are already friends with this girl, right?

so you need to let her know you want the relationship to take a romantic turn. this is your responsibility. she will not do this for you.

you do this by telling her you are interested in her. the easiest way to do that is to call her "sexy".

however, don't compliment her looks. compliment her personality.

what is she like? has she told you a story that demonstrates her compassion? or charisma? or honesty? or intelligence?

so you talk with her, and you get her to tell you about the time that she was running late for class but still stopped to give a bum a dime.

so you say "Wow, not only are you sexy, but you're really compassionate as well." Then continue talking about something else.

If she doesn't act weird about this, then you're gold. Talk for a little more, and then tell her to close her eyes. Kiss her.

Nothing will happen if YOU don't make it sexual.

 

[sav]

just put it in her mouth...


but seriously.. the girl likes you...
bust out some wine and enjoy this "movie" in ur apartment, and just take it from there...

i get a feeling from ur post is that your infatuation with ur ex might be holding you back somewhat.. if thats the case, you need to get over her, and u have a good girl waiting for that to happen!

ur far ahead of the pack as you've got a female interested.. GIVE her a chance...

 

[alphaace]

LMS - no, she isnt a virgin.

Marinette - Thanks for the advice, will definitly use it soon.

Sav - I can honestly say I have no feelings for my ex even though its only been 8 months. If theres any infatuation going on its with the new girl, lol. The only one holding me back is myself because I don't want to do anything she isnt comfortable doing.


And on a side note, its so ****ing weird for me being with someone else, I was with my last LTR for so long (well, for my age its long) and started at such a young age.......its just so...........different?

 

[MooseGod]

I feel your pain, man. I got out of a 1 1/2 year relationship not too long ago, but a couple of chicks later I got my mojo workin' again. Whatever you do, don't TELL her your feelings...SHOW her your feelings. Basically, like Sav said, get her over to your place, bust out some wine or whatever, throw on a movie, and let her know that this is not going to be a "friend" ordeal...by your actions.

Just remember this is unfamiliar territory, and proceed with caution. But usually once you kiss her, you're home free.

 

[Last Man Standing]

So if she is not a virgin then why are you so worried about your sexual desire.? Do you really think she doesn't know that men want her for sex and not for conversation? She knows! Some women want a relationship only to validate their sexual behavior and not be considered "easy" - it's all a head game!
Quit treating her as if she is an innocent delicate flower!

 

[kdnash82]

Personally, i would stop worrying about a relationship with this girl. She's 18 and you're 21. Not that you're that much younger than me, but she's definately still a kid. Trust me on this. DO NOT PUSH FOR A RELATIONSHIP.

Hang out and simply have fun. Stop worrying about the things that are to come and start living in the now. Enjoy eachothers company. When you start thinking about other things, it makes everything complicated. You'll start to get nervous, wondering if you've made the right move or decision. Let everything go and simply enjoy it.

With that said, escalate. You want it, she wants it. Don't expect her to pull down her pants and say, "here take this" cause it won't happen. Only women I've had make that move were the ones that I've taken home drunk from the club. Afterwards I never heard from them again.

I'm in a similar situation. She's 19 and I'm 25. She's out to have fun and I know it. That's probably the main reason we get along so well. I will never try to be in a relationship with this girl. Mentally she's not ready. She has goals in life that she wants to reach and I'm sure your girl is thinking the same.

 

[alphaace]

Well, I think im in luck with my situation. She posted this on my myspace page.

"aaaww.. i had fun but i missed u! but now im back! ssoooo... r u going to dress up as a sexy vampire for me?! lol "

We're going to a Holloween party this upcomming weekend and she'll be going as a "slutty nun". She will be most likly spending the night (at my apartment) and hopfully I'll have the gumption to make the move.

As for the vampire thing....eh, don't really wanna do that, was thinking more on the lines of a Pirate, but adjusted a little bit to look like that Captain Morgan image (The picture on the handles of the rum). I know I'll look good in that costume.

 

[Play the Game]

Make sure you bite her on the neck in your vampire costume.

What you're not going as a sexy vampire????? dude... trust me if you do this you will be getting laid.

Just think about it, if you asked a girl to dress up as a skanky [enter your fantasy here] what would you do to her if you were alone?

Ughhh... numbskulls, girl tells you EXACTLY what she wants and you don't even listen.

 

[MooseGod]

Dude you should have her dress as a pumpkin for Halloween...


Then smear pumpkin guts and seeds all over your face and go as Peter Peter the Pumpkin Eater... :crackup:

 

[Randallpink83]

Sav - I can honestly say I have no feelings for my ex even though its only been 8 months. If theres any infatuation going on its with the new girl, lol. The only one holding me back is myself because I don't want to do anything she isnt comfortable doing.

Why not? Cross boundaries... push the comfort level... MAN up and TAKE what you want...

I think you will be quite surprised to find out that she will dig it... Girls love sex.. seriously. C'mon class lets all say this together, girls love sex. girls love sex!

If you get resistance, then play it cool, dont feel like a chode getting blown out, just remain cool and try again later.. Eventually she will cave into your charm. Girls love this stuff.