I feel good

[sh-rewd]

My wife of 16 years (we've been together that long, married for 5) told me Christmas Day she wants to separate. Yeah I'm a little distraught, but whatever. We are living in separate rooms right now.

I just finished signing a lease on my new apartment an hour ago, and I move tomorrow. I purchased all my furniture, kitchen crap and other essentials. I'm packed and ready to go.

She is going out for New Years Eve, and just left our apartment. Before she left, she asked me for a hug not once but twice. I politely declined the first time, she asked again and I said no again. She asked why, I said because it is my choice.

I feel better.

 

[btownbuck2012]

My wife of 16 years told me Christmas Day she wants to separate. Yeah I'm a little distraught, but whatever. We are living in separate rooms right now.

I just finished signing a lease on my new apartment an hour ago, and I move tomorrow. I bought all my furniture, kitchen crap and other essentials. I'm packed and ready to go.

She is going out for New Years eve, and just left our apartment. Before she left, she asked me for a hug not once but twice. I politely declined the first time, she asked again and I said no again. She asked why, I said because it is my choice.

I feel better.

Niiiice man. This is what, at least I think, Rollo meant by “game saves lives”.

The power to walk away is incredible. They very fact that you shot your wife down for a hug not once but twice has her hamster doing Olympic qualifying back flips right now.

Move on and watch her life fall apart as yours improves day by day and year by year.

Happy motherf*cking new year pal!

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Good for you for declining. Women just don't get the deal. Once you say I want to separate it's over. There is none of this half ass ****. I'm telling you she is probably having second thoughts and feels more distraught than you are. Women always look for a backup situation even through a hug.

 

[Boris Rum]

My wife of 16 years told me Christmas Day she wants to separate. Yeah I'm a little distraught, but whatever. We are living in separate rooms right now.

I just finished signing a lease on my new apartment an hour ago, and I move tomorrow. I bought all my furniture, kitchen crap and other essentials. I'm packed and ready to go.

She is going out for New Years eve, and just left our apartment. Before she left, she asked me for a hug not once but twice. I politely declined the first time, she asked again and I said no again. She asked why, I said because it is my choice.

I feel better.

You will be fine brother, remain strong and focused. I was there once and I can tell you it gets way better than being married to a selfish *****.

 

[sh-rewd]

Thanks for the encouraging words my dudes. Appreciate it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My wife of 16 years (we've been together that long, married for 5) told me Christmas Day she wants to separate. Yeah I'm a little distraught, but whatever. We are living in separate rooms right now.

I just finished signing a lease on my new apartment an hour ago, and I move tomorrow. I purchased all my furniture, kitchen crap and other essentials. I'm packed and ready to go.

She is going out for New Years Eve, and just left our apartment. Before she left, she asked me for a hug not once but twice. I politely declined the first time, she asked again and I said no again. She asked why, I said because it is my choice.

I feel better.

You did what you were supposed to do. Congrats on moving so quickly.

 

[Focal core]

Happy new year mate

 

[Glassguy]

Well played but please remember 2 things:

1.) No woman will ever venture out on a limb like this without already having SOMEONE lined up. Women cannot stand to be alone. In my experience in both divorcing and also fvcking quite a few women who were getting divorced or just got divorced, they jumped on the c0ck carousel like their panties were on fire. STD's, loss of respect, etc......do not ever take her back. The fact that you were basically sleeping separately and living as roommates is a sure fire sign that she has already started talking to other guys and lining them up (at minimum). Same goes for this being her idea. She must really think she has something great lined up.

2.) She will only come back for 2 reasons: validation and when she realized that she is going to be a pump and dump, fvck and toss, etc. Or in a couple of months when she realizes its not really what she expected it to be with the new guy(s). Give her no validation (and great job on doing that with the hugging BS) and when you get to a point that you miss her (and you will) just remember those words coming out of her mouth....."I want a separation". Trust me, seeing her for what she is now will pull you through. Trying to see her for what she was in the past will only make things harder.

Good luck dude. Its not an easy thing that you are getting ready to go through. Be sure to take some time for yourself, invest time into yourself and your kids if you have any and get yourself ready. My ex said the same thing and I had her moved out and into a nice little apartment that she had secretly already had for 5 months before the following weekend was over. I immediately contacted my attorney and got things in motion for the divorce. It was then that she started having 2nd thoughts but the sheer lack of respect towards me when those words came out of her mouth made me do a 180 and I was done with her on the spot.

Bury yourself with things that you enjoy that will strengthen yourself, your SMV, your social circle and your career. All will pay off huge dividends in the near future.

 

[highSpeed]

My wife of 16 years (we've been together that long, married for 5) told me Christmas Day she wants to separate. Yeah I'm a little distraught, but whatever. We are living in separate rooms right now.

I just finished signing a lease on my new apartment an hour ago, and I move tomorrow. I purchased all my furniture, kitchen crap and other essentials. I'm packed and ready to go.

She is going out for New Years Eve, and just left our apartment. Before she left, she asked me for a hug not once but twice. I politely declined the first time, she asked again and I said no again. She asked why, I said because it is my choice.

I feel better.

Feel for you man. Hope you don't have kids but suspect you do. Hope you can stay actively involved in their lives if you do. Hope you don't have to suffer the indignity of watching another guy traipsed through your house and paraded around your kids if you do.

 

[lamath]

Well played but please remember 2 things:

1.) No woman will ever venture out on a limb like this without already having SOMEONE lined up. Women cannot stand to be alone. In my experience in both divorcing and also fvcking quite a few women who were getting divorced or just got divorced, they jumped on the c0ck carousel like their panties were on fire. STD's, loss of respect, etc......do not ever take her back. The fact that you were basically sleeping separately and living as roommates is a sure fire sign that she has already started talking to other guys and lining them up (at minimum). Same goes for this being her idea. She must really think she has something great lined up.

2.) She will only come back for 2 reasons: validation and when she realized that she is going to be a pump and dump, fvck and toss, etc. Or in a couple of months when she realizes its not really what she expected it to be with the new guy(s). Give her no validation (and great job on doing that with the hugging BS) and when you get to a point that you miss her (and you will) just remember those words coming out of her mouth....."I want a separation". Trust me, seeing her for what she is now will pull you through. Trying to see her for what she was in the past will only make things harder.

Good luck dude. Its not an easy thing that you are getting ready to go through. Be sure to take some time for yourself, invest time into yourself and your kids if you have any and get yourself ready. My ex said the same thing and I had her moved out and into a nice little apartment that she had secretly already had for 5 months before the following weekend was over. I immediately contacted my attorney and got things in motion for the divorce. It was then that she started having 2nd thoughts but the sheer lack of respect towards me when those words came out of her mouth made me do a 180 and I was done with her on the spot.

Bury yourself with things that you enjoy that will strengthen yourself, your SMV, your social circle and your career. All will pay off huge dividends in the near future.

Real good advise for you there




You handle this like a king.
Now cut her out as much as possible, she will try and use you for moral support, validation etc.

This will not be ez on her either even if she has some else already, make it hard on her by doing great for yourself and not giving her any emotional support.

 

[sh-rewd]

Still doing good fellas. I've actually been on a couple of dates which is nice.
Learning to be an alpha male again instead of a ****ing beta **** like I ended up being with her.

 

[GT40]

You handled this well. Glassguy is correct too in saying she’s got things lined up. She didn’t drop a bomb like that on Xmasday without a back up plan.

Just move on. You can do better dude. Spin some plates and have fun.

 

[DumbSS]

Hey, were you happy with her? Did it surprise you when she said that? Odds are she chose to say the word ‘separation’ instead of ‘divorce’ because she wanted you to take a step back & examine how you fkd up & make efforts to correct it. I know, the urge to run in the opposite direction at the first sign of rejection is real big for males, maybe you don’t even think you did anything wrong but females give chances like nobody’s business. She probably tried to talk to you about it & you wouldn’t hear it so she resorted to the ‘it’s too late’ tactic, assuming you wouldn’t be sooo eager to walk away. Anyways, sounds like your bed is made & you’re happy, but you’re gonna be looking for her in every woman you bed & you’re gonna be upset when you don’t find her (you don’t stay with someone you don’t like for 16 years). I’m not totally denying that she lined some dudes up but it was probably because she desperately wanted to feel special again, not because she’s done with you. Ikr, women & their mixed signals lmao. Have fun dude.

 

[lamath]

Hey, were you happy with her? Did it surprise you when she said that? Odds are she chose to say the word ‘separation’ instead of ‘divorce’ because she wanted you to take a step back & examine how you fkd up & make efforts to correct it. I know, the urge to run in the opposite direction at the first sign of rejection is real big for males, maybe you don’t even think you did anything wrong but females give chances like nobody’s business. She probably tried to talk to you about it & you wouldn’t hear it so she resorted to the ‘it’s too late’ tactic, assuming you wouldn’t be sooo eager to walk away. Anyways, sounds like your bed is made & you’re happy, but you’re gonna be looking for her in every woman you bed & you’re gonna be upset when you don’t find her (you don’t stay with someone you don’t like for 16 years). I’m not totally denying that she lined some dudes up but it was probably because she desperately wanted to feel special again, not because she’s done with you. Ikr, women & their mixed signals lmao. Have fun dude.

A women that want to manipulate her husband by telling him she wants to separate because she want to feel special is TRASH and LOW QUALITY.
If that was her plan in this situation it blew out in her face.

Again well played OP

 

[DumbSS]

A women that want to manipulate her husband by telling him she wants to separate because she want to feel special is TRASH and LOW QUALITY.
If that was her plan in this situation it blew out in her face.

Again well played OP

Kinda true, but then at the same time if you’ve committed that fully to someone you should be able to ride thru the bumpy patches like she does (women don’t give up quickly or without reason)

 

[lamath]

Kinda true, but then at the same time if you’ve committed that fully to someone you should be able to ride thru the bumpy patches like she does (women don’t give up quickly or without reason)

I agree but sometime some bad habit/relationship dynamic acquired over time cant be changed.

 

[DumbSS]

I mean regardless, good job OP, I just went thru something similar, but I’m a woman who doesn’t play games, when I finally said ‘I’ve been unhappy with you for a long time & ive given up’ I meant it. Not many people share my integrity, so I assumed she was begging you to GAF for once.

 

[DumbSS]

They do objectively give up quickly and their reasons are often bastsh!t insane egoism.

In the beginning yes, but not after investing years in someone.

 

[lamath]

They do objectively give up quickly and their reasons are often bastsh!t insane egoism. Hording up resentment and making zero effort to articulate and fix problems is giving up. They just dont leave quickly.

This is my experinece in a 12y ltr

 

[lamath]

The reason I go NC so severely is not so much that it helps you heal faster (it does of course) but to completely avoid listening to the absolutely insane backwards rationalizations, victim mentality, and total absence of logic in what they are saying at that time. Its really disgusting to hear, if I wanted to hear that I'd strike up a conversation with a paranoid schizophrenic on the streets.

On the flip side if she was on the pedestal in ANY way and you are a man of logic and reason, she will be well off the pedestal by the time her rantings and ravings are completed.

But man....thats how they feel........
Rationality has nothing to do with it LOL

Brb gonna go put my head in the toilet