I feel cheated right now...

[Shivastorm_88]

I don't even know where to turn or what to do with what I just saw, I feel like it's an enormous blow to my ego, but more than that, I feel... Empty

This is completely ridiculous, I shouldn't be affected like that, but I am.

I've known this girl for a year now, back then she was with her boyfriend, I started rock climbing with her and ended up getting feelings for her (obviously) although I never acted in any way to fall in the friend zone. Anyways (some of you might remember this girl in question I made a thread about her) she broke up with her boyfriend, we semi-hooked up, and she told me afterward she wasn't ready and needed time, and I tried a few months after and she told me she wasn't ready to enter the dating scene any time soon and she wanted to stay single.

Now today I was browsing POF, sending mass emails, and I see her on it, she made an account.

I thought I was over this girl, apparently I wasn't. When I saw she made a profile... **** this was a big blow. After all the time I've known her and the things we shared together, she wasn't even able to be honest with me and give me a clear-cut "no" as an answer, instead she simply made me hang on a string by saying "not for now", pretending she wasn't ready to date or commit.

I can't believe this ****, I feel like such a dumbass... All the time I've spent with her and energy I wasted on her, the stuff we did together, it doesn't even count for anything for her, I can't even get an ounce of decency from her. **** it I don't even think I'll want to keep climbing with her even if she's a good partner.

My faith in humanity just dropped an extra notch

Rant over.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

I don't even know if I should call her out on it or just leave it be.

Hell I don't even know if I should cut all links with her or not, me being me, I can't help but feel bad if I do it, considering I've been climbing for a full year with her and I'm her only partner

**** this is bull****

second rant over.

 

[5string]

Suck it up and find a new girl.

It should not be news to you that women (not all) lie. It will happen again most likely.

Keep your radar on at all times.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Suck it up and find a new girl.

It should not be news to you that women (not all) lie. It will happen again most likely.

Keep your radar on at all times.

Of course I know women lie. Most people lie. People are a bunch of pansies who can't assume their decisions or their actions, I've accepted that a long time ago. I guess the problem here is I really misjudged her character, I thought she wasn't one of those.

I guess my oneitis for her really made me raise her to a holy status and this image has just been shattered, I think it's really an ego issue right here

 

[5string]

Of course I know women lie. Most people lie. People are a bunch of pansies who can't assume their decisions or their actions, I've accepted that a long time ago. I guess the problem here is I really misjudged her character, I thought she wasn't one of those.

I guess my oneitis for her really made me raise her to a holy status and this image has just been shattered, I think it's really an ego issue right here

Then you learned your lesson.

My personal mindet is that I will trust a person until they prove me wrong, while at the same time listening to the little guy who sits on my shoulder as the little fvcker is usually right.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Then you learned your lesson.

My personal mindet is that I will trust a person until they prove me wrong, while at the same time listening to the little guy who sits on my shoulder as the little fvcker is usually right.

Heheh yeah I hear ya, although it's not an easy lesson... And what's harder now is the course of action I should take regarding this whole mess.

Cut her off, or keep rock climbing with her? tough choice :/

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Of course I know women lie. Most people lie. People are a bunch of pansies who can't assume their decisions or their actions, I've accepted that a long time ago. I guess the problem here is I really misjudged her character, I thought she wasn't one of those.

I guess my oneitis for her really made me raise her to a holy status and this image has just been shattered, I think it's really an ego issue right here

This is a pathetic rant Shiva. So your telling me, that if she was completely honest with you and said something like this:

"Sorry Shiva, its just not going to happen between us; I don't feel any attraction for you, I see you as only a friend"

---- that you would be at peace with her? I say bs, your ego would be shattered WORSE because she said it straight to your face.

Look, you know women love validation and attention; you also know that most women never tell you straight to your face that they aren't interested unless the guy just can't take a hint.

Instead of ranting, you should be looking at your game and figuring out where your going wrong.

To me its obvious; you had comfort built; but no attraction and no seduction. Fast track to the friend zone if you stick to that style.

Look back, learn, correct and move on.






PIMP

 

[vatoloco]

Then you learned your lesson.

My personal mindet is that I will trust a person until they prove me wrong, while at the same time listening to the little guy who sits on my shoulder as the little fvcker is usually right.

This made me LOL.

+1 and QFT.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Actions speak louder then words. Either the girl wanted you or not. When she said she wasn't ready to date you should have took this as a rejection and found more plates. Don't listen to what a girl says. See how she reacts.

 

[pdx1138]

You should have moved on the second she felt uncertain. It seldom, if ever, gets better when that has occurred.

 

[st_99]

I guess the problem here is I really misjudged her character, I thought she wasn't one of those.

I've done this a couple times and both times i was wrong! haha. Its sucks, life is full of lessons.

But I know how you feel, the problem is not her its us. We are too quick to judge how things should be
or will turn out and when expectations are not met we feel like crap.

Can't do that. Ever. Thats why its important to just get to the point with HB's and find out quickly if
there is any sexual attraction.

 

[TopGun2000]

I've done this a couple times and both times i was wrong! haha. Its sucks, life is full of lessons.

But I know how you feel, the problem is not her its us. We are too quick to judge how things should be
or will turn out and when expectations are not met we feel like crap.

Can't do that. Ever. Thats why its important to just get to the point with HB's and find out quickly if
there is any sexual attraction.

+1 on this

as soon as she gives you mixed signals or uncertainties you know it's over

always follow their IL but don't get yourself ahead of them

 

[JonJaper]

I guess my oneitis for her really made me raise her to a holy status

...aka putting her on a pedestal. Isn't this the most basic AFC move ever?

I know you really don't need to be made to feel worse, but as a member of sosuave since 2007, you should have known better.

 

[corrector]

...aka putting her on a pedestal. Isn't this the most basic AFC move ever?

I know you really don't need to be made to feel worse, but as a member of sosuave since 2007, you should have known better.

Being a member of sosuave doesn't make a difference...but a trip to Amsterdam does. The reason you can be book smart, but have no street-smart or experience-smart and most of the problem unfortunately comes on the other "smartness" levels. That is why not PUA book, sosuave, POOK, or wahtever is very helpful.

 

[corrector]

...aka putting her on a pedestal. Isn't this the most basic AFC move ever?

I know you really don't need to be made to feel worse, but as a member of sosuave since 2007, you should have known better.

Being a member of sosuave doesn't make a difference...but a trip to Amsterdam does. The reason you can be book smart, but have no street-smart or experience-smart and most of the problem unfortunately comes on the other "smartness" levels. That is why not PUA book, sosuave, POOK, or wahtever is very helpful.