I Escalate Too Fast...

[FutureSpartan]

I keep trying to get physical with girls on the first date (when we are at her place) and it never works out for me. You guys keep preaching to grab your balls and make a move and persist but they won't budge an inch for me.

I'm getting so frustrated at this I'm thinking I should just not make any moves until the second/third date or so. It seems the moment I try to make a move early I lose frame since she knows she has me and can afford to wait.

Should I just project sexuality and hold off on the physical until she gives me the "go" signals? Or maybe my game just sucks where I am not getting her aroused quick enough??

 

[Jitterbug]

Describe in details how you make a move.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I usually have her on the couch watching a movie or something...ill just go in for the kiss. They usually reciprocate except when I try to escalate it just doesnt go beyond that. I don't get all pissed or anything I just keep persisting until she's made it clear that she does not want to move further and then I stop.

I end up losing any motivation to pursue her further.....cause i knew at some point she banged some dude at the first meet....i just wasnt that guy to bring it out of her

 

[The Piano Master]

I usually have her on the couch watching a movie or something...ill just go in for the kiss. They usually reciprocate except when I try to escalate it just doesnt go beyond that. I don't get all pissed or anything I just keep persisting until she's made it clear that she does not want to move further and then I stop.

I end up losing any motivation to pursue her further.....cause i knew at some point she banged some dude at the first meet....i just wasnt that guy to bring it out of her

Who knows, bro? YOu just might be the guy she want to take things slow with.

 

[Giles]

Who knows, bro? YOu just might be the guy she want to take things slow with.

Screw that; just keep doing what your doing and don't get disheartened. Might suggest toning it down to prep their buying temperature.

 

[Snow Plowman]

If your a physical guy then there is no such thing as ESCALATING TOO FAST...

You sound like a dude who thinks of touching in MOVES and is eager to get things going. Have fun with the girl physically, don't look at it from the perspective of trying GET, TAKE, or WANT something from her.

Also are you escalating TOO SLOW because you mention kissing on the date when you should've most like kissed WAY BEFORE. Kissing just like any sort of touching should be NO BIG DEAL.

 

[Allurre]

If she has invited you, or if you are already under her roof, it's a greenlight for you to make a move.

The key is natural progression.

Don't just instantly jump down her throat with your tongue.

Also, remove your 'inner urgency' to have to make a move -- it's hurting your attitude.

At all times, remain cool, composed, and relaxed when you go for the kiss etc.

I usually like to transition from a strong moment of deep conversation before making the dive.

Hope that helps bro.

 

[horaholic]

It sounds like you are missing a few steps. Add in touching and hand grabbing, and all that shyt first. Also, escalate on a high point. If possible, dont just kiss her out of the blue. wait till she says something insightful, so she 'earns' it. Create the pause. look in her eyes and say nothing. If she looks back, nail her.

 

[Warrior74]

push pull.
kiss, pull back, kiss some more, pull back, second base, pull back...tease her a bit. Don't make it a race to the bedroom.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Thanks for the tips...the underlying problem is I am too outcome dependent...I just need to go into the next 5 or so dates w/o any expectation of anything happening. I feel my urgency to get the physical going without proper calibration of her desire is screwing up my game.

Back to square one...