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(I ****ed up) Saw the girl with some other guy, and reacted the wrong way.

Plank

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Guys, so I am in college, and there is a girl I like. It's been going good for a few days.
She complies to whatever I say, and she got comfortable holding hands, and with all that touching.

Today, during the break time, some other guy messaged her for the first time, and then later I saw her and him sitting near a bench.
I asked her who he was, she said she met him first time today.

and, I got jealous and frustrated, and this fear came up that I am just being an orbiter.
So in anger I said to her "Tell me if you like him." with that frustrated look on my face and left.

what do you guys think? How should I have reacted, so I don't **** up next time.
 

bat soup

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Guys, so I am in college, and there is a girl I like. It's been going good for a few days.
She complies to whatever I say, and she got comfortable holding hands, and with all that touching.

Today, during the break time, some other guy messaged her for the first time, and then later I saw her and him sitting near a bench.
I asked her who he was, she said she met him first time today.

and, I got jealous and frustrated, and this fear came up that I am just being an orbiter.
So in anger I said to her "Tell me if you like him." with that frustrated look on my face and left.

what do you guys think? How should I have reacted, so I don't **** up next time.
I don´t think you did yourself any favours, but you might still be in with a chance. Get her alone and make a move on her. Otherwise it looks like the other guy will swoop in.
 

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Plank

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I don´t think you did yourself any favours, but you might still be in with a chance. Get her alone and make a move on her. Otherwise it looks like the other guy will swoop in.
Should I give any explanation for the behavior. Or just let it slide and behave like nothing happened?
 

Dash Riprock

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19 year old me would have likley done a lot worse. Go silent for a few days then ask her out and plan something fun, like it never happened. If she brings it up, laugh and say "You know, you two actually make a cute couple. Make sure you add me to your wedding registry" and then change the subject.

You need to practice the IDGAF attitude.

Good luck.
 

Modern Man Advice

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Guys, so I am in college, and there is a girl I like. It's been going good for a few days.
She complies to whatever I say, and she got comfortable holding hands, and with all that touching.

Today, during the break time, some other guy messaged her for the first time, and then later I saw her and him sitting near a bench.
I asked her who he was, she said she met him first time today.

and, I got jealous and frustrated, and this fear came up that I am just being an orbiter.
So in anger I said to her "Tell me if you like him." with that frustrated look on my face and left.

what do you guys think? How should I have reacted, so I don't **** up next time.
I mean, you are young. If you don't learn from this, it WILL be called a mistake. If you learn from this, it WILL be called experience.

So having said that, you reacted in the wrong way. But you already know that. Get hold of your emotions, I'm not saying don't feel, I'm just saying don't let your emotions control you. You control them.

It is okay you felt frustrated (not sure about jealousy as that it's a sign of possessiveness, something which you should avoid) but it is not going to help you or help whatever you have with her, that she sees you unable to control your emotions. She will, and probably already is, looking at you as a weak man. That is a turn-off for women.

I would have just said hi, and walked away aloof. And let her deal with how and if she might feel guilty. If she needs the need to explain, she will reach out. If she doesn't, walk away.

At your age you should be seeing a lot more girls and getting a feel about who you are as a man and what you are looking for in a girl. Do not commit to this girl.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice
 

Plank

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I mean, you are young. If you don't learn from this, it WILL be called a mistake. If you learn from this, it WILL be called experience.

So having said that, you reacted in the wrong way. But you already know that. Get hold of your emotions, I'm not saying don't feel, I'm just saying don't let your emotions control you. You control them.

It is okay you felt frustrated (not sure about jealousy as that it's a sign of possessiveness, something which you should avoid) but it is not going to help you or help whatever you have with her, that she sees you unable to control your emotions. She will, and probably already is, looking at you as a weak man. That is a turn-off for women.

I would have just said hi, and walked away aloof. And let her deal with how and if she might feel guilty. If she needs the need to explain, she will reach out. If she doesn't, walk away.

At your age you should be seeing a lot more girls and getting a feel about who you are as a man and what you are looking for in a girl. Do not commit to this girl.

Hope this helps.

Modern Man Advice
Thanks a lot.

so after a few hours, I messaged her and told her to wait in the class tomorrow (where we both will be alone) and that I will show her something cool, and asked her to meet at the cafeteria to get a bite.

She agreed to this.
I will escalate as soon I will see the window of opportunity.

Any tip what should I keep in mind for tomorrow?
 
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Plank

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19 year old me would have likley done a lot worse. Go silent for a few days then ask her out and plan something fun, like it never happened. If she brings it up, laugh and say "You know, you two actually make a cute couple. Make sure you add me to your wedding registry" and then change the subject.

You need to practice the IDGAF attitude.

Good luck.
Thanks.
I usually remain calm.
and the line is gold. Thanks again :)
 

bat soup

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Thanks a lot.

so after a few hours, I messaged her and told her to wait in the class tomorrow (where we both will be alone) and that I will show her something cool, and asked her to meet at the cafeteria to get a bite.

She agreed to this.
I will escalate as soon I will she the window of opportunity.

Any tip what should I keep in mind for tomorrow?
Be strategic about where you sit in the cafe. Choose a place where there are not too many onlookers and make sure you sit next to her, not across from her with a big wooden table kokblocking you.
 

metalwater

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if it goes well, at your first opportunity approach another girl that you know or don't know and start up a quick conversation and get her number if you don't have it. and then the next day one more.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Bruh this is your moment, in 10 years time your gonna be standing in the shower thinking about this moment and cringing
 

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Modern Man Advice

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Thanks a lot.

so after a few hours, I messaged her and told her to wait in the class tomorrow (where we both will be alone) and that I will show her something cool, and asked her to meet at the cafeteria to get a bite.

She agreed to this.
I will escalate as soon I will see the window of opportunity.

Any tip what should I keep in mind for tomorrow?
Hope this is not too late but simply act if that didn't happen. Do not bring it up unless she does.

But yes, escalate asap.

Modern Man Advice
 

LucianoM

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Guys, so I am in college, and there is a girl I like. It's been going good for a few days.
She complies to whatever I say, and she got comfortable holding hands, and with all that touching.

Today, during the break time, some other guy messaged her for the first time, and then later I saw her and him sitting near a bench.
I asked her who he was, she said she met him first time today.

and, I got jealous and frustrated, and this fear came up that I am just being an orbiter.
So in anger I said to her "Tell me if you like him." with that frustrated look on my face and left.

what do you guys think? How should I have reacted, so I don't **** up next time.
Always let the girl show you how she feels. If shes flaking on you, acting distant, giving priority to other guys/things, then theres your answer. Never ask because it makes you look like a b*tch and she will probably lie anyway.
 

Plank

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(update)
so guys here's the update, I got dumped.

I asked her to out she denied. And then she started acting cold.
Later I told her I know that you got uncomfortable and I understand.

she told me "I need space, otherwise it gets uncomfortable and awkward. I usually talk to a lot of people casually so don't think something special."

I am gonna watch a nice movie tonight and then go out with friends, but it still sucks.
 

jimwho

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You're in school. Within a week, 63 women will know all about you and Betty. Give her nothing nada zilch, she doesn't exist. She is just another human in the crowd you have no interest in. This too will also get out to the 63 Women. Could work in your favor .

Being unfazed is how you roll. Don't ignore, don't block, just walk away. As it is now you're seen as Simpy, so do some damage control and don't be bothered.
 
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