I DUMPED my GF!!! Was it correct? or did i overreacted?

[Ruleit]

lol, it looks like a massive overreaction to me. Come on man, you are motherfvcking man... Why the heck would u care about some stupid website and girl giving her number to someone... I might be very well wrong, just shared my opinion.

It would be an over-reaction if she had come clean. Instead she didn't. She lied and then tried to cover it up.

She knew what she was doing. She was prepping for a branch swing and getting comfortable with getting attention from other men. Distance doesn't mean a thing to a hamster. The mere idea that someone else wants to diddle her is all her ego needs for now and then it becomes a drug.

OP caught this early but it doesn't mean it's over. She's getting her drama fix for now. If he takes her back it's only a matter of time before she becomes bored with him again and starts seeking some strange.

 

[hudpes]

What if i want her back? But on my terms!

What does a gangster do with a double crossing associate that takes some on the side? What does a chef do if his saucier comes in drunk on the night of a big event? Do they scold them and keep them, because it will be on their terms?

Don't look back, or you'll just postpone what is evidently inevitable, waste time and invest further emotions in a lost cause.

edit: it just crossed my mind - there might be an exception. I got a phone number from a girl who I knew had a fiancee, but it was for a very specific reason, I never had intent to ask her out and she wouldn't expect me to either, used the number just for that one day I needed to, but I can't for the life of me imagine her lying to him about it, so there's that.

 

[j.619]

The talking on a website is forgivable... I'd even go as far to say that giving some dude her number is forgivable if she understands your boundary, is apologetic, knows it was a mistake, and comes forward truthfully.

The fact that she lied about it reaffirms that she KNEW IT WAS WRONG and DECIDED TO WITHHOLD THAT INFORMATION WILLINGLY. It's not a question of "he's overracting" or "it's just social media". SHE LIED about giving ANOTHER MAN HER NUMBER. She crossed a boundary that HE, AS A MAN, set. All he did was stand by his boundary and kept the situation in his frame. If it were me being lied to, I'd bolt... fast. I say kudos to him for having a backbone and not groveling. Not enough men with that kind of resolve.

 

[Syrio]

Wait did she give him her number and then lie to you saying she didn't? Or are you just upset because she gave him her number and isn't sorry? I would say it makes sense to be upset that she lied to you, but it is a bit ridiculous to say that no other male is allowed to have her number. And if he's such an AFC you probably shouldn't care anyway, right? No threat there.

 

[Kailex]

Yeah i will take at least a week to get in touch with her and would FZ her Fck her one more time and that's it. Let her realize what she lost.

Doing this completely kills whatever is happening right now.

Why do you think she's called you 8 times? Because she realizes it. Dude, don't even get into the whole I'm gonna "fvck her one more time"... that's going to end up badly.

Just ignore her.

She blocked you on FB, let her be crazy on her own.

This one is done.

 

[VikingKing]

^ Kailex is right. "fvcking her one more time" <--- this here: crackhead talk. Crackheads always justify it, just one more rock, just one more.

Then a week later they've sold all their things, they have at least 4 warrants out for their arrest, and they are either squatting in a foreclosed house, or living under an underpass wondering why things got that way again.

The best thing to do is for you to just walk away, this will do two things for you.

1. In the immediate, you can emotionally detach and begin to move on from this situation, as opposed to prolonging it.

2. If you can walk away right now, your proving to yourself that you can also do it in the future, strengthening your resolve for having a zero tolerance policy in place, and as a result having an excellent weeding system.

 

[logicallefty]

If you want to entertain the thought of taking her back, make her work for it. Let her prove herself by knocking on your door with eyes filled with tears of regret for lying to you.

And when she does the above... put her on probation. Tell her you can't trust her, but are willing to start over. Meanwhile you start working on finding her replacement.

^^^ ^^^

 

[Syrio]

She lied, you know he said she lied, why are you trying to cause doubt in the OP? Your post is a complete irrelevant non-argument.

Amazing that playherman got banned in favor of people like this.

Jesus, calm down dude, it is obvious that I was not trying to cause doubt in OP. I read it quickly and didn't notice. No need to be a d1ck.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Well she blasted my phone with calls and i picked up her call. We argued and i abused her and called her a slut and many other things. Rage took over me and she disconnected the phone and **** I called her up again and again abused her. She said she wanted to mend things up and was sorry for what she did . But after seeing this side of me she isn't interested in getting back again.

But called me right now to say goodnight.

She turned the table. Right? What to do man?

 

[EvilSpirit22]

****. She was crying and i literally begged her to get together. I feel ashamed.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

****. She was crying and i literally begged her to get together. I feel ashamed.

This is bait.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

The talking on a website is forgivable... I'd even go as far to say that giving some dude her number is forgivable if she understands your boundary, is apologetic, knows it was a mistake, and comes forward truthfully.

The fact that she lied about it reaffirms that she KNEW IT WAS WRONG and DECIDED TO WITHHOLD THAT INFORMATION WILLINGLY. It's not a question of "he's overracting" or "it's just social media". SHE LIED about giving ANOTHER MAN HER NUMBER. She crossed a boundary that HE, AS A MAN, set. All he did was stand by his boundary and kept the situation in his frame. If it were me being lied to, I'd bolt... fast. I say kudos to him for having a backbone and not groveling. Not enough men with that kind of resolve.

This^

However, I must say, you set yourself up in a way.

So she's had sex with one person, and that person was you. SMH.

You gf up a virgin, pop her cherry, then she's communicating with some AFC nerd who lives out of state that's probably trying to get into her pants through massive AFC orbiter friend game.

WHO THE FVCK CARES??

Her: If I talk with him on FB, what's the big deal if I text with him over the phone. (after orbiter asks for her number, so he can do more orbiter things)

Devil's Advocate: She lied because she didn't want to upset you, and SHE truly didn't think it was a big deal.

I've said it a million times, you set ridiculous boundaries, then you're setting yourself up for failure.

On the "venting", anyone who loses their composure like that is far from being any sort of DJ. Verbally abusing her and calling her a slut? She's had sex with one person....YOU.

There are other ways to handle this "ordeal".

IMO, this whole situation reeks of someone who's insecure and possibly has other deep seeded issues.

 

[Longshot]

Walk away... confidently and with conviction. And re-read what pyros wrote. I wouldn't sweat it. Best of luck.

 

[Desdinova]

What if i want her back? But on my terms!

You can only get a woman back on your terms after an extremely long period of no contact. Ignore her for 5 years and you'll have no problem making it happen.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

lol, it looks like a massive overreaction to me. Come on man, you are motherfvcking man... Why the heck would u care about some stupid website and girl giving her number to someone... I might be very well wrong, just shared my opinion.

I would agree if she apologized to him for her dishonesty and promised she would never do it again. The fact she didn't do that makes me feel the OP did the right thing. Accepting her behavior without a sincere apology just show to her that she can be dishonest to him and get away with it. That would just be the beginning of the end of their relationship and you know it. It's exactly this kind of behavior that you display here that makes women think this selfish and dishonest behavior is acceptable and normal.

Set boundaries, and keep them. Don't allow her crossing the boundaries, under no circumstances, never, no matter how trivial it may seem. If she just makes a just minor slip-up and she apologizes right away without you forcing an apology out of her, then you might let it slide. But ANYTHING worse than that and she deserves to be dumped.

You did the right thing OP.

 

[No.Danny]

You set a boundary you stand by it. If not this girl will soon be waking all over you.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

I am confused. Don't know what to do.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

Well its official now We are not together anymore. And I am relieved now. And the feeling of guilt has faded away. I earlier thought it was unfair of me to dump her like that but after this rude behaviour of her I know I did a good job. If she LOVED me then she would've come back . But after judging her behaviour I can say that I DID THE RIGHT THING. Thanks guys. I had a few plates lined up earlier but I never wanted to cheat her.

 

[EvilSpirit22]

**** LOVE..! I just regret the time I wasted on her. Well I wish her all the luck and **** in the world.

 

[Scormus]

mistake

Honestly I think you made a mistake here.

If he is AFC and has no chance with her as you say, then let her give her number out and friendzone him so he can do more orbiter things.

I think blowing up over an AFC made you look weak and appear to be a man with low sexual market value, sorry but I have to call it as I see it.

I would have let him give her the attention and get nothing in return while you do all the banging.