I don't want another friend (Thanks to KontrollerX for giving me the idea)

[TheEdgeOf]

Alright. Here's a little background info; Some of you might remember that I had a ****ty case of onitis about a month and a half ago. Long story short, as you all should have guessed, this onitis screwed up my game and I went and got myself Friend Zoned. This girl ended up moving to a different country, but she's coming back next summer. Anyways, before she left, I made a move and she rejected me. Okay, whatever, it happens right?

So I thought I handled it well. I mean, I just pretended that it never happened and went back to being friends with her. Now I chat with her on IM every once in a while and such. But after reading a post by KontrollerX here, I realized that what I did was wrong. After she rejected me, I should have cut all contact with her. I should have let her know that I didn't want her as a friend. And that unless we were going to more than friends, I wouldn't want her in my life anymore.

I've learned this lesson now, and I don't plan on making this mistake again. I suggest that if you didn't already know this, you remember what I just wrote.

Okay, now here's the actual reason I posted this here. I want to ask your opinions on something. I've realized what I've done wrong here, and I want to rectify my mistake. This girl and I chat on IM every couple days now. Next time we talk, I want to turn the conversation towards the whole crush thing. Then I want to essentially ask her that if she didn't move to a different country, would she have gotten together with me. She will of course reply "no". Then I'll just say alright and make up some BS excuse of why I have to go. Cut contact. I want her to know that if she doesn't want to be in my life as more than a friend, then she's not going to be in my life. Sure, I might see her next year, but the same rules will still apply.

What do you think? I trust your non-emotionally-clouded opinions on this. What do you guys know I should do?

 

[WesCottII]

You're trying to make it into her fault. Trying to drag her into an argument so you can feel that this is her own doing, and have your guilt/responsibility assuaged. This is a messed up mindset.

Instead of trying to place blame on everyone else, look at your actions and what you did wrong, and improve upon that. Yeah sure, perhaps you two wern't compatible, but where did you fail, and how could you do better next time?

If you're going to cut contact, do it. You don't need to have a huge row beforehand.

But look at yourself. Why did you get to the point that you saw this girl as an investment, and why you pinned your oneitis hopes upon her.

 

[DJDamage]

What do you think? I trust your non-emotionally-clouded opinions on this. What do you guys know I should do?

Don't do it.

Move on and forget about her, you still have oneitis.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Somethings in life are better off not knowing. Forget, about the past. With, the would of, could of, and should of... It's been done. Now you got the knowledge with what to do right. So, go out and make something happen.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Yeah, that was kind of retarded. I didn't talk to her, and I don't plan to any time soon. I'm just sorta dropping her from my life. Maybe I'll try again when she comes back, if I still feel like it.

 

[TheEdgeOf]

Eugh, Fvck. What the hell was I thinking? Why would I write that? It's a good thing I gave it some time before I went ahead and said that lol. Thanks for straightening me out guys.