I don't understand why confidence always slip out

[moneyisking]

I think it's really weird, but I guess it is work of the nature?

You know one day you're feeling real confident, don't care about girls whole

lot b/c you know it's silly, seems like you can be yourself and your mind is

not bogged down by countless thoughts and worries that keep bashing

the mind. Anyways, you're really confident, content, life feels good and

next day; BOOM, it starts disappearing and you're back starting to worry

and all that. I mean, is it nature's intent for her to bring man's confidence

down all the time and never let him stay happy?

In my case, I gradually become worrisome and start becoming less

confident, then one day I'm totally rock bottom, don't give a fvck, just sad,

and think to myself that this sh!t sucks, and get mad; I then become

confident again as I project my "I don't give a fvck" attitude b/c I'm pissed

off. Then vicious cycle continues...... I know some of yal will say, well then don't

give a fvck, that will solve problem. But the problem is, I know that such attitude is

what I should have but, the depressing feelings and worries are UNCONTROLLABLE. It's

like you know they're bad for you, but you can't stop it or ignore it. Imagine trying to be

happy when your parents pass away or something. It doens't work that way.


My problem I think is that my mind automatically makes me worry about not being able do good with girls. I know the key is not worrying or thinking about it, and I KNOW! But it's like you can't control it. I read Amoka's thread about straightening life and getting sh!t together, and I really want to forget about game and just be at comfort when I'm talking to chicks and just not worry about em'. I want to do good with them, sweep em' off by being real with my personality and just plain cool, but the mind, man, it just doesn't stop worrying. How do you guys deal with this? This uncontrollable worries that descends upon me even when I know it's something I must avoid. I really want to focus on me and my life first b/c I know that's the way that will bring happiness in me and automatically bring other things together (like money and women). Help me.

 

[moneyisking]

Come on, did sosuave disintegrate this much that no one has enough inner game to advise? This place is definitely what it used to be.

 

[Warrior74]

Listen. Everyone worries about something. It happens. But it's not worrying that's the problem. It's what you do about it. If you are worried about school, buckle down and study hard. If you are worried about your health, take your ass to the doctor. If you are worried about women, go out and met some. If you are worried about how you will react to women, learn some game...and fake like you are the coolest motherfocker in the room until it becomes second nature. A man does something about his worries. And like the old saying goes, never let them see you sweat. If you have someone you really can trust to talk about things then do that and after you get it off your chest, take action.

If this is about being yourself around women, I challenge you to go and start conversations with every attractive woman you see until you get over this fear. Worry is just fear dialed down to 2 instead of 10 and never turned off. Turn it off by facing it. Good Luck.


Read this. And read the comments.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/12...things-and-finds-success-with-women/#comments

 

[JustLurk]

You have clearly not found your inner happy place xD

It's much healthier to have periods of extreme fear and then no stress for most of the time. This is also more natural. Try to have bouts of extreme fear, but always avoid having any long-term anxiety. Long-term stress is freaking terrible for you. :nono:

Try finding calm, or a solution to problems. If neither works just pump all that fear out in a burst and just let it go.

 

[1337]

We all have our on and off up and down days, its perfectly normal. Its ok to feel down but don't sign in or given into the negative emotions just keep fighting. Also there reason why confidence keeps slipping is because you probably had too many years of bad habit in low self esteem. The ego will always try to slip in at a sign of weakness. It's like a fat guy of 20 years expecting to get jacked after his first 2 days in the gym. He looks in the mirror, he gets disappointed, then he cries himself to sleep while chewing on twizzlers.

You gotta be consistent,discipline and patient. If your not then your only seeking means to an end results which means you probably not accept reality.