I don't understand this. What am I doing wrong?

[The Pedantical]

Today I was riding the subway home. It was pretty crowded.

There was a cute looking spanish girl sitting not too far from where I was standing. I smiled at her and she smiled back, but I didn't bother talking to her because first I was tired after a long day and second it was so crowded that I would have had to push people aside to get to her.

Anyway.

So I notice that she walks off the train at the next station. As the train starts again, I'm telling myself that maybe I should have pushed a couple of people aside and at least say hello to her, but alas.

So as the train keeps going, we get to the next station and a lot of people walk out, so there is more room. The train takes off again, and as I'm looking around me, through the windows I see that SAME girl in the next wagon.

She didn't walk off the train to stop at the station, but simply to switch wagons.

Then, I notice that she turns her head to look at me and smiles. I make a surprised expression and I look away because I'm a bit freaked out. What the heck is that supposed to mean?

Anyway, I finally get off at my station and as I walk off the train I notice that the girl in question also gets off at the same station.

She runs right past me as if some kind of monster was chasing her or something.

I've been thinking about this and I really don't understand. What the heck is going on, here?

In the past couple of weeks I've tried becoming more social and I approached a lot of girls to get their numbers. During weekends I try to go to clubs and various places across town where I don't know anyone and approach women there. I don't want to go out with them, I'm just trying to practice because right now I'm very busy and I don't have time to date girls... but I still want to practice talking to them so that I can be ready once I DO have time, ie next summer (when I finish law school and don't have to study like 8 hours a day or something).

The only thing is... of all the girls I've asked, I have gotten a grand total of zero numbers. Now, it doesn't bother me because even if I would have gotten their numbers I wouldn't have called them anyway, but I don't understand why not a single girl wanted to give me her number so far.

As far as I can tell, I've been doing everything "by the book" from what I've been reading on this site.

A typical situation looks like this...

I approach a girl I see sitting by herself, say in a mall or a bar or whatever. I'm well-dressed, clean, flossed teeth, shaved, wearing colognue, smiling, etc.

I nod to her and smile. I tell her my name and I extend my hand. She shakes it hesitandly and looks at me with a surprised and confused expression like if I was naked and wearing a clown wig.

I start talking to them, trying to be as subtle and suave as possible, but their reaction is always the same: they always look as if they're thinking "uuh, yeah... why are you talking to me? do I know you or something?"

Of course, no matter what technique I use to try getting their phone number, they immediately shake their heads and try getting away from me. It doesn't make me sad, it doesn't make me embarassed... but it confuses me, because I have a hard time understanding what's going on.

I don't know if I'm naturally repulsive to women or something... there's just gotta be something or whatever. Not that I'm ugly like a truck or anything, I'm pretty regular-looking I guess so it can't be that...

In the meantime I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing, but I can't help but ask myself questions when things like that happen.

 

[The Pedantical]

Originally posted by hollywoodbod
well post a pic first of all,maybe ur hitius and unattractive.........what do u talk about with them...are you building a rapport?

I look like this:
http://home.stoik.com/uploaded/pedantic1.jpg
http://home.stoik.com/uploaded/pedantic2.jpg
(during my trip to italy last summer)

And what I talk about... well, I don't know, it depends on the context. The last girl I approached was in a bar and the first thing I asked her was if she liked the music that they were playing. Another girl was wearing some kind of weird bonnet/hat thing so I asked her about it, saying that I've never seen that kind of hat except in movies. Or recently I saw a girl buying something in a 7/11 and I joked to her that she needs a new wallet because hers was literally ripped to shreds. That sort of thing... I'm just trying to talk about whatever the context leads me to talk to... but the resonse I get is always the same, so I don't know

 

[Tazman]

It's very possible that the chick on the train got off at the wrong stop and jumped back on the other car out of convenience. It's also very possible that she's a psycho. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

I'm not one to give advice on rapping to women because I myself lack those skills. Maybe your demeanor is a bit odd, but I'd have no way of knowing without talking to you in person. One thing's for sure, it isn't your appearance, you're a decent looking guy. I think you could be scoring nicely with good game.

 

[smoke city]

i think the problem is that you're thinking too hard -- you're "trying to be more social," and trying to meet women while having an agenda is hard because they can SMELL it on you. I would say keep practicing, get out there and make some female friends so you get more comfortable around women as a first step. improve yourself as a second step. really i think the "game" will come later...and more naturally as you get more comfortable communicating.

 

[tmpgstx]

Here is the majority of your problem. You're approaching girls at clubs, and these girls do not feel 'worthy' of you. From your picture, you're considerably above average in the looks department (though i'm a guy). When they see a guy like you approach them, they're thinking 'what in the world would a guy like this want with me?' etc. It gets them all insecure feeling because they don't feel they measure up, especially if you're a good conversationist to boot.

More sophisticated girls (educated with goals) i.e. not nursing school etc. would be more your speed and feel more on your level.

It sux i know. I never hit on the girls at the club but there are always some staring at me like i'm some kind of celebrity or something .. lol. A couple of hotties asked for my number one night and my friend asked them later why they don't call and the one replied 'I have to be really drunk to call him, i'm too chicken otherwise'.

Another girl one night - was funny. She was all drunk sitting at a table in a resteraunt. She goes - 'see that guy over there (me), he's really hot, i want to fvck him'. I saw her again one evening some time later and she made it a point not to look at me at all! She wasn't drunk at all though. Crrraaazzy.