"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I don't understand some women...

Sir Lancelot

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OK, heres the deal. There was this girl from last year (i'd say shes an HB8) that I was always pretty flirty with, and we hung out quite a bit. She had a pretty high IL for awhile. Then the summer hit, we lost touch, and I had forgotten about her. I was pretty sure she didn't have a high IL because she had never tried to contact me. Until about August where she calls me up out of nowhere and invites me to some party. I didn't go to it because I was busy with other things.

Anyway, fast forward to this year. I don't see her too often at school, but when we bumped into each other recently she really wanted me to take her out again. Her IL seemed pretty high, she was way more touchy feely than usual. So I try to set up a date, and she's very enthusiastic about it. She winds up flaking out. I was a little mad about her flaking on me, and didn't talk to her for awhile. I marked her as a lost cause and moved on.

So a month ago she approaches me and asks when we're gonna hang out again. At this point I'm confused. I say something along the lines of "I don't know, whenever you decide not to flake on me." She goes on explaining that she didn't flake out and that something came up blah blah blah .. So I suggest a day and she says OK. Guess what? SHE FLAKES ON ME AGAIN! I got pretty mad this time, and have avoided talking to her ever since then. She's tried calling me since then, but I never answered.

So now it's saturday night, and I go to a party at my friends house. Everything's all good until this same HB8 shows up with her friend. Throughout the whole party I just tried to keep my distance from her. But no matter where I went, like 3-5 minutes later she came into the same room and sat down right next to me. Throughout the whole night she was always within a 2 foot radius of me. She'd give me several long side glances too. This made things really awkward! She was really clingy, and tried to make conversation with me a few times but I just wasn't interested.

At this point I'm very confused. :confused: Slightly annoyed too. If she flakes on my date offers two times, that probably means she has a low IL, but whenever I see her at some social event shes clingy and acts like she has a high IL. What do you guys think is going on here? I'm trying to forget about her, but it's pretty difficult when she's always around me.

I'd appreciate any kind of insight on this situation, thanks in advance
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LikRetsam

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Games and tests. How much can she get away with?

She can't escape with what she never had!
 

Jerky Boi

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Calm down a bit. She might have actually had a good reason to flake out on the date..or

She's just a tease
 

InsidiousNstinct

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How much can she get away with?


Hit the nail on the head....

I'd tell her to go find some other guy to play games with. That you don't have time to deal with her flakeyness.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TonyTheTigerOI

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Grab her and kiss her.

Shes playing sunshine... you gotta beat her at her own game. Next time you see her - show your attraction. Kino her a lil bit, smile, look in her eyes. She will be flirty and fun, too. Dont bother date closing. Dont bother # closing. In mid sentance, while your both smiling and having a great time, kiss her. Lean in kinda quick, but kiss a a regular pace, no tongue.

She is a habitual falke, but ill bet shes got MAJOR interest. The reason is... she was giving you her time at a PARTY. Girls are MOST FLAKY in PUBLIC because they ahve MORE OPTIONS. She followed you around, shes interested.

Just kiss her to get the point across. Even if its right in the middle of the hall at school.
 

Sir Lancelot

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Originally posted by A&F Brand Cologne
how did she flake on you?
The first time she said that she had a dance practice that she forgot about. That isn't so far-fetched, since she is a really avid dancer. The second time she didn't really give me a reason, just told me she wouldn't be able to go.

TonyTheTigerOI, that seems like good advice, but I'm debating whether or not I actually want to pursue her. I mean if she plays stupid games like this now, what kind of games would I have to put up with in the future?
 

InsidiousNstinct

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TonyTheTigerOI, that seems like good advice, but I'm debating whether or not I actually want to pursue her. I mean if she plays stupid games like this now, what kind of games would I have to put up with in the future?

Exactly....you already know your answer....
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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You arent kissing her as a marriage proposal... its going to show you her true interest. Kiss her and then leave her... dont talk to her for a while... the next time she approachs/innitiates with you... then give her a chance for a date. Last chance.

MOST good looking HS girls play games like this. So dont think youre above it, and youre going to find the "good girl" who doesnt. Just find a hot girl you can have fun with, and enjoy yourself without any real emotional commitment. Who knows, maybe you might have a small chance of kinda finding a "good girl" :p
 

Sir Lancelot

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Originally posted by InsidiousNstinct
Exactly....you already know your answer....
Yeah I've made up my mind about not pursuing her. She's not worth the effort.

I think I'll try to befriend her though. She'd be really good social proof, and she's actually a pretty nice person.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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