I dont understand eye contact

[englishman]

Hey guys, I read a survey recently that rated eye contact as the sexiest thing to do by far......however, I dont like it myself, it makes me feel a bit like im being stared at, like in a threatening or dominering manner......
I think it might also be a cultural difference, in the U.K. ive never heard anyone talk about the importance of eye contact? also when I went college (canada)here and did a public speaking course I was told that eye contact was to be held for 5 seconds.....to me it seemed like i was looking for a fight and when my brother in law visited from the uk and i looked at him for 5 seconds im pretty sure he thought "sh1t, hes got strange lately"
also on the course we were told to look at the end of a persons nose cause they cant tell the difference between that and there eyes, I thought how false? any one got any thoughts?
Im not sure what it is im trying to be saying with eye contact, besides fvck u, or im the boss so bow down ?
ps, Im not a soft cvnt and ive always had plenty of birds......

 

[Create Reality]

Eye contact = Dominance; Strength. The way a person responds to being stared at can be taken as a good sign of how they respond to a challenge .

Challenge can be sexy, yes, and how your target responds to eye contact will tell you pages of their psyche. Use this info to devise a plan of attack (approach). Eye signals can be faked, most likely by a person who knows the true nature of the eyes, so never base your game solely on whether their eyes move up or down. An example is if a person moves their eyes down and to the left, this is a sign of some type of submission or an emotional triggering. It's most likely intimidation (fear).

On the other side of the spectrum, the eye contact YOU make can make or break an approach. This one is a bit simpler, but is actually more based on the face then the eyes. Basically, don't look like a slack-jawed yokel, but more like the guy you really are. I could say more on this, but hopefully someone else can.

It comes down to challenge, and eye contact shows you are not a little wussy. When I see a person who is shorter then me (I'm 6'4"), and I see them lookin up at me like we are equals, I have mucho respect for that person.

and of course there are always the ones who like to stare up at me DDBin'

Yeah so, make eye contact, don't look like a killer, and have a pleasant face. I hope I could help someone who doesn't understand. Peace.

 

[AudiTy]

I hate it when people don't acknowledge you when you walk past them. With older people like 30 onwards I think it's because I'm 19 and they just aren't used to giving a look + smile to people my age or younger (seems to be the deterioration of the young/old generation communication gap via reputation kids have these days, if you have heard of the recent 'chav' phenomenon here in the U.K. you'll know what I mean).

It's hard to find a right balance between how much eye contact you give when passing someone because as you stated people respond differently and may feel threatened. Females aren't so bad but some males can get really uncomfortable when being stared at. I've seen fights start just because someone looked at someone else, riiiidiculaaarse!

 

[DJ4Real]

DJ's do eye contact to show dominance and confidence. Women are attracted to a confident/****y male. Eye contact is a single "test" used by 100% of the women to test a mans confidence. If you can't look into a woman's eyes and hold the contact for longer than she can, then in many cases you'll come off as weak and unconfident.

 

[silverfox]

Yeah but some of this is situational, right? If you are in a bar, restaurant etc and there's eye contact then holding it can be cool.

But if you are on the street then it is a lot harder. Most people will look away as eye contact usually precedes some sort of challenge.

I have been making eye contact with everyone on the street and even though I am not a big guy people look away or alter course subtly if we are head on. I think it definitely conveys confidence and dominance but I need to remember to smile and say hi to the ladies. I usually remember that when they are 3 paces past. D'oh!

BTW - I am in the UK too so I can relate to what these posters are saying.

 

[DarkLight]

I agree with the fact that eye contact indicates Confidence/Dominance. And those attributes are fine to express to a woman, in fact... its what you should be conveying as a man.

I think the issue here is, how to convey that energy positively, rather than negatively.

The whole killer look, insane stare blah blah... not the goal.

Its all about the feeling you put behind that strength. Express the strength, confidence of your heart. Not the fact that you just read an article on eye contact, and that its linked to animal dominance, trying to indicate that your the biggest bad a** of the jungle.

Women will respond warmly to a real man, beaming the strength of his heart. She'll see the courage, confidence, and beauty of all that man is through that look... and cream herself in love right there.

Furthermore... express this same feeling through the subtle expression of your face, smile. Your attitude, your walk, your clothes.

G' it up right... with finesse, balls and heart.


-DarkLight-

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P.S. try this... when you have eye contact going with a chick... and its intensity is building... take her as far as you feel she'll go... then right then... send a funny thought'

hehehee... works wonderfully'

It will take all that built up visual energy and explode it into a mutually funny, smiling moment for both of you, and create a wonderful lighthearted great bond! From there... all you have to do is say "hey" with the same lingering smile.

 

[silverfox]

Ah that's makes a lot of sense.

I think this is where I am going wrong. I train heavily in martial arts and too many times I think I am projecting my "game face." Apparently I look like Vincent in Collateral when he is walking through the night club.

Last Friday, I was thinking about my bootcamp exercises and successes and walking confidently along when I made eye contact with a cute girl. My upbeat state and confidence obviously came across because I got a beaming smile from her.

I need to work on replicating that.

 

[DarkLight]

Ya totally...

I hear you on the martial arts... killer thing.

I used to think that would attract (sometimes it does) chix too. But all in all... its just not an inviting energy. The only seductive aspect of it... is the power. And like I said earlier... you can express that same power in more charming ways.

I remember one time I took mushrooms, and the day after, my eyes were amazingly clear, and I was still exuding the power of my experience from the 'trip'.

For some reason... I was staring every1 down. Just full force LION power. It was pretty much an ego thing... but at the same time... I wanted to see who, if anybody could meet this glare. I was curious to see how people would respond. Nobody met my stare to the extent that I was willing to go.

Thats natural though... most people aren't ready to see that much of the soul, or the potential of our power.

So keep it charming, sexy and confidently happy. Tickle a gushing smile out all those babydolls with your strength, not scare the sh!t out of'em. lol

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On a sidenote... any opinions on whether you should keep the glory on yourself in your eyes... or should you beam them with your vision, and let them see how glorious they are with your eyes?

I created another thread on this, but don't think many saw it.

I think both ways could be seductive in that... if you beam her with how beautiful she is, in your eyes... it would seduce her with a Rake'ish effect. On the other side... you would be the ball of light, and that would spark her desire...

Your opinion/ideas...!?