I don't post often. But now i need the communities help.

[xsonik]

I don't post often. I am not an advocate of reading a million posts, in fact usually i read and then ACT right away. But it has come to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. The situation is theres this girl i've known for about 9 years. I know her from church, and she is 3 years younger than me. Her older brothers are my friends, and her mom loves me. Basically they wouldnt mind me going out with her. Recently i've been real flirty with her. I bust on her like crazy and she loves it. When i talk to her at church she gets really flustered and speaks in broken sentences. She turns really red when i come around and talk, and gives me big hugs before I leave. She acts this way around me, but has stuff about her ex boyfriend on her AIM profile. We have a date this Thursday, and recently i've read this post here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showth...nd&pagenumber=2
i'm not sure if i should kiss her right away because i don't want to be so sudden.(this is our first time alone). BUT I WANT TO kiss her already like casanova said in the post. with any other girl that i just met and am interested in, i would have followed his advice 110% and would have kissed her already. plus i dont know if i should be kissing her in her family's house. given the circumstances, i have this other girl im seeing just incase this doesnt workout.

 

[n00bPimp]

Church girls are naughtee.

 

[Kaptain]

Forgot when or where... live in the moment.

If you want to kiss her and feel ready to kiss her then KISS HER.

 

[xsonik]

Does anyone have any better advice?

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Better? If you're looking for someone to say not do it and provide reasons, my guess is those will be few and far between.

Just do it.

She's a grown up girl, and not stupid (I hope). She'll be expecting it most likely.

 

[xsonik]

i'm going to go for it. as long as i see indicators of interest, i'm going to go for it.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

hey man hows it going?

dude is this the same girl you were talking about a long time ago?Well anyway my advice would be to trust your instincts. When I say that dont force yourself to do anything you wouldnt feel comfortable doing and at the same time when the opportunity arises dont miss it. About the kissing part - look up some tips. Even if you get rejected it wont be a big deal because you took charge and tried and dont take it seriously. If you do kiss her, keep it short and soft.

 

[Rada]

I think you should go for it too.....just don't jump on her so she won't get scared...make sure she's comfortable first and it will feel just great. She gave u all the signs that she likes u so good luck.
Don't forget to tell us how it was

 

[xsonik]

So we went to eat at this "cute Korean restaurant" according to her. We eat. We go to her house, and watch a movie. While were watching she acts cold. We have a blanket over our laps. I tell her to come closer and she says no, her grandmother might say something. Her grandmother goes upstairs. Then all of a sudden she cuddles up next to me. This drives me nuts because she smelled so damn good, and she was so warm. Her grandmother comes downstairs, and i whisper to her that somones coming. She whispers to me ok. Then moves away. Her grandmother sits with us and watches the movie. When the movie finishes, her grandmother leaves. When her grandmother leaves, i put her feet on my lap. I touch her face, look into her eyes, and then bring her towards me. We kiss for a few seconds and then she turns her cheek and says stop. I hold her hand and ask her whats wrong. She doesn't say anything. I touch her cheek and guide her face towards me again by using her chin. She gives me the cheek. I stop and we hold hands again. I tell her to "look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me". She couldn't look me in the eye, and she whispered "i don't". She starts tearing up and tells me to just leave. I put on my jacket and shoes, and go near the couch and squat in front of her to try to hold her hand one last time. She closes it. I stand up and then say goodbye. Half of me feels like ****, and the other half doesn't have regrets.

 

[IS|Reinhart]

Forgot when or where... live in the moment.

If you want to kiss her and feel ready to kiss her then KISS HER..

TOTALLY AGREE! Girls is girls don seperate her from others. if u will kiss other girls on 1st date why not same with her. ITS UR AFCness wispers u that she is special. FK NO! treat her as other until she mite prove that she is special!

 

[IS|Reinhart]

Originally posted by xsonik
So we went to eat at this "cute Korean restaurant" according to her. We eat. We go to her house, and watch a movie. While were watching she acts cold. We have a blanket over our laps. I tell her to come closer and she says no, her grandmother might say something. Her grandmother goes upstairs. Then all of a sudden she cuddles up next to me. This drives me nuts because she smelled so damn good, and she was so warm. Her grandmother comes downstairs, and i whisper to her that somones coming. She whispers to me ok. Then moves away. Her grandmother sits with us and watches the movie. When the movie finishes, her grandmother leaves. When her grandmother leaves, i put her feet on my lap. I touch her face, look into her eyes, and then bring her towards me. We kiss for a few seconds and then she turns her cheek and says stop. I hold her hand and ask her whats wrong. She doesn't say anything. I touch her cheek and guide her face towards me again by using her chin. She gives me the cheek. I stop and we hold hands again. I tell her to "look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me". She couldn't look me in the eye, and she whispered "i don't". She starts tearing up and tells me to just leave. I put on my jacket and shoes, and go near the couch and squat in front of her to try to hold her hand one last time. She closes it. I stand up and then say goodbye. Half of me feels like ****, and the other half doesn't have regrets.

LOL LOL MAN THATS CLASSIC!!!!!!!!!!!
"look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me". She couldn't look me in the eye, and she whispered "i don't".
man u are my hero!

Seriously change ur mindset and fk this bit ch she is not worth it. just say NEXT!

 

[xsonik]

i didn't want to be on my deathbed when i'm 70 and dying of cancer. looking back at all the events of my youth, while regretting not going for "her". i have had too many what ifs in my life. way too many. i just couldn't let this one be a what if. I especially looked at POOKs 15 lessons and this stood out.

““The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!”

“You can be the smartest person in the world, the most talented, the most persistent, but you will never win in the world or with women unless you embrace the glory of RISK.”

“But Pook, I am scared of risk. What if I lose?”

Pook slapped the youth. “You cannot lose! Everyone wants to define your life, to shape it to their ends. From politicians to your friends. Everything is all right as long as you stay you. But if you break out of the mold, everyone, and I do mean everyone, will try to stop you.”

“So how can we not lose?”

“Just as on the battlefield, the valiant warrior losing in glorious battle is honorable. It is not the victory that defines the Man, it is the fight. There are some people who somehow have this curse or bad luck and must eat an excrement sandwich everyday. They win everytime they struggle against that.”

“So to risk is to fight. Then all this knowledge and ‘insights’ are merely the sword, shield, armor, and weapons we fight with? And those who fight, unarmed, are more worthy than those who sit there completely clad with the finest of weapons?”

“Yes. Paradise, spoken slowly, is literally a 'pair-of-dice'. Gamble what you have. For if you bury your talent and dreams to sit on it, you will receive the wrath of heaven. ‘Unworthy servant!’ will be screamed at you.”

“But what if the situation itself seems IMPOSSIBLE? What if ALL ODDS SEEM AGAINST YOU? What happens then?”

Pook, exhausted from this post, began to vanish towards the Pook Place where all Pooks come from. “Just remember…”

“Opportunities are brilliantly disguised as impossible situations!””

 

[MightyMate]

9 years is too long to know. You are in friend zone.

 

[xsonik]

Originally posted by MightyMate
9 years is too long to know. You are in friend zone.

blunt, to the point. i like that.

 

[xsonik]

this girl goes to my church. i'm not sure how to react this sunday when i see her. i sure as hell don't want to look weak.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

I hate to be the one to digress here, but she's a 17 year old, church-going cutie. The thing about church girls (someone previously mentioned their reputation for freak-ness) is they have guilt issues and consequently higher ASD. (higher risk brings higher rewards. they provide a bigger payoff.) I've had a lot more success hanging back just a bit because you'll never gain ground by disrespecting them or forcing them to choose between you and their god, at least in the beginning.

The 'Look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me.' line was way too much. You should never use the 'L' word first, but you thought it was smooth on the first date? You friskiness was questionable too. Your first romantic interlude took place in her family's residence, with her grandmother hanging around, both factors that add to the aforementioned guilt complex and ASD. You acted on hormonal influences, disregarding the environmental influences and came on too strong (read: desperation). In doing so, you placed yourself in the category with every other horn-dog that's been trying to get friendly with her. This is a bad thing because the whole point is that you're better than they are.

Play it cool. This early in the game, the sexual attraction is what's providing the electricity for the romance, and it only takes a minimal amount of overture to keep it energized. You're the man, you know she wants it. That's your's to lose right now. It's just a matter of creating an environent and situation where she can loosen up a bit. Let's hope the second date goes better.

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[izza]

bum link

Yo the link doesn't work. Please fix it so I can understand what you're asking.

D

 

[white_hype]

LMFAO!!!

maybe you don't post much, but it is also obvious you don't read much

WTF were you thinking there man? "tell me you don't love me"; go to hold her hand; and worst of all.... "WHATS WRONG?!?"

LMAO

I appreciate your balls (don't lose them, just refine them). Here's my analysis b/c I am feeling festive in this holiday season

1- good work on finally asking her out (it is never too late to turn it all around... just b/c u are in LJBF zone does not mean u cannot get out of it)
2-bad move taking her home where granny will be there to spy on you (go to a different location... if u have no place to do it then a-go to a park and look at the stars; b- go for a walk and sit on a bench; etc)

3-u should have already had good kino going so it wouldn't be awkward when u start to make moves when closing

4-when lying with her if it feels awkard u need to change it up, that is ur job. Hit her with a pillow in the ****ing face. Have a pillow fight. Turn it into a tickle fight where you finally pin her down on the ground then triangle gaze and make out.
When she is lying on your lap that is good for when you have already ****ed her... bro I know how frustrating that **** is when u haven't kissed her, I've had it happen enough times so I finally learned the best offense is a good defense lol. When she was laying in your lap you should have kinoed the **** out of her then gotten up to get water/bathroom or whatever so when u come back u can go for the makeout easier, but don't force it.

5- some good things to do when she pulled away or said granny is gonna see.

"omg I know... this is so bad, but it feels so good doesnt it? this is really adventourous, are you haveing a good time? blah blah (this is called yes stacking, it gets her in complience mode)
"stop it! I shouldn't be feeling this way, you are turning me on" (girls love it if they see they turn a guy on. But you really need to calibrate this one)


6- not all is lost. Act normal around her when you first see her. IMO she was just nervous about granny but i have no ****ing clue what the crying was about, that **** is just ****ing weird. I've had girls cry on me randomly like that and I kicked them to the ****ing curb... IMO u don't need a girl who is going to ****ing cry for no reason on ur first date, she most likely has PROBLEMS

 

[xsonik]

It was our first time alone. We've known each other for 8 or 9 years now. I put too much pressure on her probably. Maybe all is not lost, but I sure as hell won't count on getting with her ya know? I had the DJ principles wrong. You aren't supose to deny or bury your feelings for a girl you think is LTR material. You are supose to DELAY them. Think about them and make sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you. So that way no one ends up getting hurt or anything. I've had success with girls that I just meet and mess around with, but with LTR type of girls I haven't. I was really confused on how to act with this one since I've known her for so long. But ****, next time if I don't know how to act. I just won't. This was pretty rash and stupid.

 

[Q-Pid]

Dude classic "has-another-guy" symptoms:

-Won't look you in the eye (lying)
-Starts crying (Conflict)
-Kisses then stops (Conflict)

Or you may just have been coming on too strong. She is only young and you'd need to take things slower with the young ones.

One thing you could do next time she is blocking your advances is do a freezeout. I mean she'll like cuddling with you, but might be scared of kissing you. If you back off a bit, like go to the bathroom, then she'll be more keen for you when you return. It's all basic cat string theory.