i dont know when to shut up....help please...

[matt428carr]

hey guys....ive really made some huge changes recently since finding this site(thank god) from quitting smoking to my new gym membership but im having a real hard time with keeping my mouth shut....i mean i talk too much....about everything including myself(i have gotten a bit better about that)....maybe im trying to gain approval from others or something or maybe make myself feel better about me???....ive always been very outgoing to the point of sightly annoying i think but i really notice it now alot and its really bugging me....no mystery in anything i do cause i gotta tell everyone everything i do for validation i guess.i think its a self worth issue and ive really been working very hard on getting that back(i gave it away to some chick..full on AFC move)i guess at least noticing it is the first step.if you guys have any advice on how i can better myself in this area please dont hesitate.....

 

[pLaYtHiNg]

Just say what only needs saying... Yes, No, etc. You'll receive a lot of open ended questions, but try not to answer them with excessive elaboration. Not sure what else to say! Try asking questions and listening, rather than talking.

 

[snowdog]

First off, new sentences start with a capital, and a space before that. It's a pain to read your post.

When talking with people, especially girls, you gotta listen. React to what they say with as much words that are needed. You shouldn't be talking more then 35% of the time if you ask me. Girls love to talk. Listen to what she finds interesting.

Wrong
Her: My daddy got a new car, it's an audi
You: Oh really? That's cool. I love audi's. I once driven the new 6 with the 4.2l engine bla bla bla

That doesn't work, because your reaction doesn't have anything to do with her. Sure you can talk about all that stuff if she's interested in stuff like that. You got to know her a bit before you can do that.

Right
Her: My daddy got a new car, it's an audi
You: Sweet. Are you getting your daddy's current car?
Her: Haha, I wish.

...and boom. You got a conversation. You need to be a great listener, to be a good talker.

 

[snowdog]

bump

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

The less you say the more powerfull you seem.

 

[Joe Stud]

The less you say the more powerfull you seem.

Like Gary Cooper, Charles Bronson, Alan Ladd, etc. Emit strength, with few words. It also creats more mystique.

 

[BongDuy]

i have the same problem sometimes when im with my friends, sometimes i feel the need to dominate but i will slowly realize it and shut up, and listen. just practice knowing when to talk, or when to listen.