After an intimate night together, I noticed that she suddenly started to avoid me. I asked her about it and she replied with that line. She said that she think it's best if she kept some distance with me. How should you respond?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"I don't know what happened... I'm not that kind of girl"
- Thread starter TheShadow
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
LeviathanIYG
Banned
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- Nov 5, 2005
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- 304
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You must have made a mistake.
All the girls i sleep with can't get enough of me after.
Give us more details........
Was she drunk?
On drugs?
Did she seem to really enjoy the sex?
Age?
ect ect
All the girls i sleep with can't get enough of me after.
Give us more details........
Was she drunk?
On drugs?
Did she seem to really enjoy the sex?
Age?
ect ect
gabrielshear2005
Banned
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sometimes girls do that, she is just playing difficult!
give her a bit of space for a couply of days and then call her... she will be happy that you did, just don't act weird
give her a bit of space for a couply of days and then call her... she will be happy that you did, just don't act weird
My guesses:
You screwed up somewhere. She had expectations of you, higher then you actually are, so she felt sorry about it afterwards.
E.G. u told her u were a sexanimal,but you were clumsy as hell.
That, or it's just ASD kicking in. You didn't treat her right, didn't play your cards right and thus she now feels like a slut.
You screwed up somewhere. She had expectations of you, higher then you actually are, so she felt sorry about it afterwards.
E.G. u told her u were a sexanimal,but you were clumsy as hell.
That, or it's just ASD kicking in. You didn't treat her right, didn't play your cards right and thus she now feels like a slut.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
wowiehowie
Banned
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Bingo. There you have it. She's probably never done this before? Maybe she felt dirty afterwards? Ashamed? Sometimes with new, taboo-like indulgences these sort of feeling do emerge afterwards.
Did you ever feel really guilty and shamed(by your folks) after your first time getting drunk when you're barely a teenager? Could be a simliliar situation.
First off: they're all that type of girl. Especially when noone in their wider social circle can find out, or only her close GFs - who are all keep each others secrets. (more info on this is covered in TylerDurden's Secret Society concept).
You did a good job of "seducing" her and she went with her feelings of the moment (chicks do that, guys run on logic). The moment, however, is now over.
She feels like she acted like a slut and you now remind her of this. She also thinks you probably now think she is easy. She therefore avoids you.
Mystery refers to this as "fool's mate". You screwed her before you had built enough "comfort" between the two of you. That's just FYI, I'm not calling you a fool or anything.
Did you just meet or how long have you known her and was this the first time you hung out on a one on one level?
You did a good job of "seducing" her and she went with her feelings of the moment (chicks do that, guys run on logic). The moment, however, is now over.
She feels like she acted like a slut and you now remind her of this. She also thinks you probably now think she is easy. She therefore avoids you.
Mystery refers to this as "fool's mate". You screwed her before you had built enough "comfort" between the two of you. That's just FYI, I'm not calling you a fool or anything.
Did you just meet or how long have you known her and was this the first time you hung out on a one on one level?
Distant Light
Master Don Juan
How long have you known her?
Think your problem is you didnt really gain enough rapport with her. I'm guessing you probably gamed her for 30 mins and layed that day or some other day and then first time yall kissed yall made out and ended up having sex.
When i want one night stands i don't really gain much rapport and try to go for the lay and then next day they end up wanting space or flake.
Think your problem is you didnt really gain enough rapport with her. I'm guessing you probably gamed her for 30 mins and layed that day or some other day and then first time yall kissed yall made out and ended up having sex.
When i want one night stands i don't really gain much rapport and try to go for the lay and then next day they end up wanting space or flake.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I think it has to do with you being a little wuss and posting at this board for serious reasons. Everyone knows that the people here that post here for a serious purpose are not trying to improve their life, but fill a void. They're all online users. Go Jerk off.
OneArmDeeJay
Senior Don Juan
There is nothing wrong my friend
First of all there is nothing wrong with your girl. And second all those that tell you to get lost say that because they do not understand your problem and can’t give helpful advice therefore they tell you you’re an AFC and get lost.
You sound young and your girl sounds to me like a young virgin with a conscience. Which is a good thing unless you’re a person with no morals.
You see, many youths have further found premarital sex to be bitterly disappointing. The result? Feelings of guilt and diminished self-respect.
A boy may find that his feelings for the girl are not as intense as before; he may even find her less attractive. A girl, on the other hand, may feel exploited.
Some youths feel no guilt whatsoever about having relations, and so they go all out for sensual gratification, seeking sex with a variety of partners. Researcher Robert Sorensen, in his study of teenage sexuality, observed that such youths pay a price for their promiscuity. Writes Sorensen: “In our personal interviews, many [promiscuous youths] reveal . . . that they believe they are functioning with little purpose and self-contentment.” Forty-six percent of these agreed with the statement, “The way I’m living right now, most of my abilities are going to waste.” Sorensen further found that these promiscuous youths reported low “self-confidence and self-esteem.”
I believe Proverbs said it best: Those engaging in immorality “give to others [their] dignity.” - Proverbs 5:9
Do not hate her because she pushes you away. She is probably feeling that is all you want from her nothing more. If you care you will do what you must do to make her feel like that isn’t the case. Words are good but actions are much better.
First of all there is nothing wrong with your girl. And second all those that tell you to get lost say that because they do not understand your problem and can’t give helpful advice therefore they tell you you’re an AFC and get lost.
You sound young and your girl sounds to me like a young virgin with a conscience. Which is a good thing unless you’re a person with no morals.
You see, many youths have further found premarital sex to be bitterly disappointing. The result? Feelings of guilt and diminished self-respect.
A boy may find that his feelings for the girl are not as intense as before; he may even find her less attractive. A girl, on the other hand, may feel exploited.
Some youths feel no guilt whatsoever about having relations, and so they go all out for sensual gratification, seeking sex with a variety of partners. Researcher Robert Sorensen, in his study of teenage sexuality, observed that such youths pay a price for their promiscuity. Writes Sorensen: “In our personal interviews, many [promiscuous youths] reveal . . . that they believe they are functioning with little purpose and self-contentment.” Forty-six percent of these agreed with the statement, “The way I’m living right now, most of my abilities are going to waste.” Sorensen further found that these promiscuous youths reported low “self-confidence and self-esteem.”
I believe Proverbs said it best: Those engaging in immorality “give to others [their] dignity.” - Proverbs 5:9
Do not hate her because she pushes you away. She is probably feeling that is all you want from her nothing more. If you care you will do what you must do to make her feel like that isn’t the case. Words are good but actions are much better.