"I don't kiss on the first date"

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Hey all,


So I met this chick on a dating site a few weeks ago. We actually went out for coffee about two weeks ago which I considered the "first" date. Apparently she did not but I'll elaborate on that later. She's 25 years old by the way.

We had a good first "hang out." I felt that the rapport was there and we had a lot in common. She told me straight up that she wanted to go out again. However, she was unable to go out next weekend but we ended up going out tonight.

We went out to dinner and I thought it went well. She offered to split it with me and I let that happen especially because her order was more expensive than mine.

After dinner, we went to this shopping complex where we walked around for a while and then sat down together on a bench. Throughout our time walking, she was holding my arm. When we sat down on the bench, I had my arm around her the whole time. During this time, everything was going well.

After that, I drove her back to her car. (She drove to my area, she lives pretty far away from me.) She even held my hand in the car. Anyway, I walked her to her car. She said she had a good time and then I was like "There's something I wanted to do since I saw you earlier, so I'm just gonna go for it." Then I leaned in for a kiss and she pulled away and was like "I don't kiss on the first date, it's just a rule that I have." Frankly, I was shocked because the kino was great all night and I even said, "Well, I thought this was our second date." She told me the "first" hang out was just to get to know each other since it was almost a blind date. I was just like "Okay, hey no problem." She gave me a hug after that and that was it.

I don't know what to make of this. Either she is a prude or sh*t tested me. To me, it seems like high school BS. What chick doesn't kiss on the first date???? It's the 21st century. Unless, she has an immature high school mentality, I don't get it. She gave me all the signals throughout the date with the kino and acceptance of it.

What do you guys think about this? What should I do next? Should I just next her or follow up again? Or maybe she's just playing hard to get or just bsing me...

 

[amazingswayze]

"There's something I wanted to do since I saw you earlier, so I'm just gonna go for it."

There you have it.

NEVER do that ever again.

That's why she said she doesn't kiss on the first date.

Please don't talk about making a move.

That's too predictable. Just do it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lol...dude that is like the lamest first kiss attempt I've ever heard. I'm sure she must have felt extremely awkward. The easiest way to gauge whether a woman is receptive to being kissed is to start stroking her hair and then say "Your hair feels so soft...", if she seems to be enjoying it, then go in and smell it and whisper in her ear "and it even smells good to", then turn her face to you and kiss her. If you do it right she will fvcking LOVE it.

 

[parkthebus]

Yeah when you talk about kissing her hour subcommunicating that you want her approval to do so. Asking for permission would have gotten the exact same response. Don't worry though you didn't completely blow it. Her response suggests you'll get a chance on your second date; you just have to go in for the kill this time and it will be all good. You need to follow up with a demonstration of high value by waiting at least 10 days before you contact her for the next date. Don't text her with chit chat in the mean time. Just contact her to arrange the date.

 

[parkthebus]

10 days? That's hardcore right there.

Reasoning being that if you go out one weekend, you don't try to arrange a date for the next one.

 

[pyros]

I dont think there was anything wrong with what OP said to her, the thing is she's just not that into OP.

Now, my personal rule for when a woman rejects my kiss is on a first date is: wait for her to initiate and show high interest in meeting again. If she doesnt, I forget about her.

Besides, when a woman goes on a date with you and she rejects your kiss it just means 90% of the time that she's not into you, unless she's 13 or something.

 

[Reykhel]

I dont think there was anything wrong with what OP said to her, the thing is she's just not that into OP.

Now, my personal rule for when a woman rejects my kiss is on a first date is: wait for her to initiate and show high interest in meeting again. If she doesnt, I forget about her.

Besides, when a woman goes on a date with you and she rejects your kiss it just means 90% of the time that she's not into you, unless she's 13 or something.

In fairness it was really weak what he said. really walt disney beta...

It strange that "how would you rate yourself as a kisser from 1-10 still works for me...

I said that to English chick last week and the response "I would say 8................but I'm a 10 out of 10 in
bed" but that was a one night stand...

I suppose on the dating thread you have to callibrate. But I still think his approach was very weak..

I like the little trick of pretending that there's an eyelash on her cheek and you lean in and say oh wait you have something
on your cheek.....as you lean in you do the triangular look.....look at her eyes and then her mouth...then her eyes.....9/10 they reach in for the kiss....

yeah but if they don't you've got low interest...

 

[nismo-4]

Well, this is my first post on the new board!

OP, you didn't do a smooth transition into the kiss. You tried to get her approval, it didn't work. The interest is not that high on her part. Now you have to wait for the second date to kiss her...Only if:

1. You actually get a second date
2. She has high interest enough to not reject you.

But still, this woman wouldn't tell you this line about not kissing on a first date if you were Brad Pitt. And you wouldn't use this line if Eva Mendes was about to kiss you.

Alas, she's in control of things now. Your kiss will be on her terms. I'd throw her to the backburner, or preferably, get a new girl and replace her ass. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed.

 

[amazingswayze]

Alas, she's in control of things now. Your kiss will be on her terms.

This is what happens when you do it wrong the first time. It sets a precedent in her mind. You might still have a chance but you subcommunicated to her that you are weak.

So, the most powerful thing you can do after this encounter is learn from your mistakes, and see other women.

We all had to learn some things the hard way.

 

[VladPatton]

Going in for a kiss will always have a 50/50 result. Either she wants to or not, based on her level of attraction. Your method of going in for the kiss is not going to kill that craving (to some extent). If she finds you hot, she'll make out with you at her grandma's funeral.

She has some issues. Play it low, real low for a while, showing her blatant disinterest, and see how it goes from there. I'd give her one more low key, short, very plain date and see if she works for your attention. If she doesn't.....later biaaaaatch.