I don't have fun at parties....

[JCKey618]

All the parties that I have been too, everyone is dancing in the middle and crap and I am usually standing on the wall with the other wallflowers.

Why? Not because I am a loser, but because I don't particularly care for parties. I can never get in to them and when I do go and dance, I'm not having any fun. It's EXTREMEMLY hard for me to loosen up during a dance, even when I'm intoxicated.

A lot of it is apprehension of initiating a dance with a girl, for example I see a girl dancing alone and the way everyone else goes about it is to just move up behind them, tap their waists to let them know you are there, and start grinding. While I have done this many times, each time I hesitate because the idea of just going up behind some stranger seems weird to me.

But, anyway, when I go to parties I usually just stand around (I move a little when alone, but I'm basically just standing around) and I know this makes me look like a loser. But I'm not. I'm wondering if it is better to keep going to these parties and trying to get better, more into them, and enjoy them more (because the main issue here is that I don't ENJOY them. I love to have fun. I do wild stuff with friends and love joking around and stuff, but I just can't get in to dancing) or should I just not go to them and find something else to do (even though all the HBs will probably be at the parties).

 

[penkitten]

well is there ever anything else to do at these parties??

i mean if you play cards, is any of that going on?

if you enjoy drinking, find drinking games to play
like quarters or whatever

remember not to drink and drive:cheer:

 

[tmpgstx]

Yeah .. those parties are kind of lame. You see these gals and guys molesting each other, and then move on to someone else. The real challenge is trying to guess who they'll end up with for the night. You'd think it would be the guy/girl he or she is kissing but then see they're now kissing someone else?

I guess it's free love or something - lol. Who knows.

 

[JCKey618]

Well, I don't even drive, so, I'll be good.

Actually, now that I think of it, I have been to a frat house at dartmouth where there was no music and a lot of people were playing beer pong and socializing. But I didn't really think of that as a 'party' because of what I have seen as 'parties' all my life.

 

[PRMoon]

Don't know your age but you sound like the bar lounge type rather then the dancing party/ club type. There has to be girls who are standing around just like you who you could talk to though. My room mate isn't as good a dancer as me so he spends most of his time at the bar getting girls at clubs/ in parties where dancing is avalible rather then on the floor. If it doesn't float your boat then you shoudn't really try. Obviously it's not your dig so you need to go a different direction.

 

[skeeloo]

try sports bars or other types of bars, try going to live concerts and other things, the thing is at these parties i dont even repect the kinda women there because they drink themselves to piss and vomit like dogs, whycant you have fun and dance on your own usually they see a guy that is happy on his own and they become fascinated why becuase you dont need them to have fun, just have fun and laugh with your friends. like someone said you can also attack girls that arnt dancing too like you. know but i was in a situation where this goodlooking guy walked up to a girl and her group of friends to have a dance but she rejected him, that same girl came to me later on to start a convo with me . while i was standing around the bar laughing with strangers. whateva works best fo you is what you use, try different techincs.

 

[ali-g]

music...

Dancing involves music... whichever music you enjoy most choose. Learn to dance in accordance with your genre of choice... AND FOLLOW THROUGH! WOMEN LIKE IT WHEN U KNOW HOW TO DANCE! so if u like hip hop........learn how to dance with a hip-hop flavour..... if u like country, dance with a country flavour..... women don't care... obviously depending on venue your options will be limited--- but because you are a man, you will pick the venue!!!

go where u belong. dance when it feels good.

 

[earthshyne]

I'm with JCKey618. I don't dance because, well, I simply don't like it very much, and after about an hour at a party I begin to wilt. But instead of trying to figure out what's wrong, I simply keep my integrity and trust my instincts. Sometimes that simply means leaving to a quieter venue. Sometimes that means finding a small group (or developing one) that sticks together at a party. And sometimes that means taking someone home early and enjoying the rest of the evening one-on-one.

To each their own. And that's the way it should be.