I think I just figured out one reason I am unsuccessful with girls. I don't flirt. I am trying to figure out why I don't have the inclination to flirt with girls. I am not gay. I know this because I am attracted to girls in real life/pictures/porn. In real life, I mainly seek to build relationships with girls (and of course, I have failed miserably). I am just thinking that there are a couple of wrong switches here. Something in my growing up turned something on or off, and I need to figure out why I don't even want to flirt with girls. Any ideas?
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I don't flirt with girls. Why? Can someone figure it out?
- Thread starter easun
- Start date
Just have fun.
All I do is make up stupid stories, twist their words and say silly things. It isn't even a conversation, its just two people making up gibberish.
Get rid of the fear, smile and try to have as much fun with them as possible. Don't worry about serious conversations when you first meet someone.
Over exaggerate your facial expressions, act extra interested in whatever they are saying (even if you don't give a flying fuuck), make it funny and try and put a little sexual innuendo into it. When you can make someone laugh at nothing and have fun talking to you, so they can forget about all that serious bull****; you'll build attraction.
You can just say the stupidest shyt and most of them will eat it up. Later on you can impress them with your awesomesauce serious conversation skills or whatever.
A "relationship" starts when someone likes to spend time with you, or you have a fun aura. No one wants to have an interview with someone they don't know. Of course you can't take it too far and just talk **** all the time (I've been called out on this many times when I first started, some people just didn't know how to recieve me), but it does make the times when you have a serious conversation have more of an impact.
Of course this is just my style of talking to people, but it works most the time.
All I do is make up stupid stories, twist their words and say silly things. It isn't even a conversation, its just two people making up gibberish.
Get rid of the fear, smile and try to have as much fun with them as possible. Don't worry about serious conversations when you first meet someone.
Over exaggerate your facial expressions, act extra interested in whatever they are saying (even if you don't give a flying fuuck), make it funny and try and put a little sexual innuendo into it. When you can make someone laugh at nothing and have fun talking to you, so they can forget about all that serious bull****; you'll build attraction.
You can just say the stupidest shyt and most of them will eat it up. Later on you can impress them with your awesomesauce serious conversation skills or whatever.
A "relationship" starts when someone likes to spend time with you, or you have a fun aura. No one wants to have an interview with someone they don't know. Of course you can't take it too far and just talk **** all the time (I've been called out on this many times when I first started, some people just didn't know how to recieve me), but it does make the times when you have a serious conversation have more of an impact.
Of course this is just my style of talking to people, but it works most the time.
Flirting is overrated. Instead of flirting start doing more kino and negging them more.
Start touching girls more (whether it be a touch in the arm/hand,shoulder,grabbing their hair etc) to teasing them and negging them. Both of these will not only make you more confident with girls but it will get make you more of a sexual being with those girls you interact with.
Start touching girls more (whether it be a touch in the arm/hand,shoulder,grabbing their hair etc) to teasing them and negging them. Both of these will not only make you more confident with girls but it will get make you more of a sexual being with those girls you interact with.
Try this. Say what you feel. Tell them "You are fucvking gorgeous!" or "you have the pretties eyes" Say this with a smile and act like u don't care. When she says "creep" you say "I don't think you understand, I don't give a **** how you feel about me, I know how I feel about you, I think you are gorgeous". Or say "everytime i see you, you get prettier and prettier, you drive me crazy". Flirt with words, don't touch her, touch her with words. Be flattering but in a ****y but yet sincere way. You know how I layed my last girl? I was in the middle of a club and I said "hey, what's your name?" she said "You are disgusting, I saw you grinding on that chick". I said "But I'm here now and I'm talking to you. I think you are fuvking gorgeous!". I yelled this out in front of everybody. Then she said "whatever". I said "Don't whatever me, and I don't care what you think, I think you are very sexy". Three hours later we were making "love" in my car in the parking lot.....Just be silly and complimentary, make them feel good for once, don't play games, but don't care about rejection. Just say how you feel, let them decide what to do with your words.
corrector
Master Don Juan
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trent81 said:
This is also known as a 'broken record' in assertiveness training.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness
How to you respond if she turns away, ignores you, or just shrugs you off and talks to another guy she's attracted to?
If she ignores you or turns away -- then I suppose you can call her on that behaviour (i.e. bad manners, etc...)
But if she's into another guy and/or you really can't connect with her?
Maybe I just need to try it. For some reason, I cringe a little when thinking of trying some of this stuff. I think maybe I like to keep my distance a little bit and flirting makes the other person cling to me when I don't know them enough yet. Which is ironic since I want a relationship. But I'm not really a touchy/feely guy. I am able to give sincere compliments at the right times though.
So I am more of a thinking person than a feeling person. I like the idea of starting with words. I'm not sure this works with every girl though since, as I understand, they love kino. Maybe I do too but only if I know them well enough. So for instance, I've never been able to initiate kino on the first date with a girl I don't know. I don't want to get too close since I don't know her. Looks don't change that fact. And then, a couple times, this has landed me in the friend zone because the girl either thinks I don't like her or that I'm not "man enough" to do something (I'm not sure which one). What pisses me off, is that I just don't understand how you can know if you like a girl after only an hour.
So I am more of a thinking person than a feeling person. I like the idea of starting with words. I'm not sure this works with every girl though since, as I understand, they love kino. Maybe I do too but only if I know them well enough. So for instance, I've never been able to initiate kino on the first date with a girl I don't know. I don't want to get too close since I don't know her. Looks don't change that fact. And then, a couple times, this has landed me in the friend zone because the girl either thinks I don't like her or that I'm not "man enough" to do something (I'm not sure which one). What pisses me off, is that I just don't understand how you can know if you like a girl after only an hour.
Tyson420
Senior Don Juan
trent81 said:
lol do you really do that ****?
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Come on bud, you can use almost any conversation topic and steer it toward something flirty. I personally am very subtle with being flirty and let the girl sort of figure things out.
For example:
The girl I was talking on the phone with the other day was telling me how she went to the doctor because she's sick, She said she hates when they swob the back of her throat because it makes her feel like she's going to throw up.
Now I'm sure you guys can come up with some dirty/flirty things to say back to her after that. Just remember, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
All I responded with was "Yea, uh, those are your gag reflexes." Said with the right tone and she busted out laughing. Then I accused of her thinking perverted thoughts.
Anyway what I'm really trying to get to is, flirting is kinda like just having fun conversation, of course it's not always with words. Sometimes actions, but somebody else hit the nail on the head when they said it's really about having fun.
For example:
The girl I was talking on the phone with the other day was telling me how she went to the doctor because she's sick, She said she hates when they swob the back of her throat because it makes her feel like she's going to throw up.
Now I'm sure you guys can come up with some dirty/flirty things to say back to her after that. Just remember, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
All I responded with was "Yea, uh, those are your gag reflexes." Said with the right tone and she busted out laughing. Then I accused of her thinking perverted thoughts.
Anyway what I'm really trying to get to is, flirting is kinda like just having fun conversation, of course it's not always with words. Sometimes actions, but somebody else hit the nail on the head when they said it's really about having fun.
Seems like you might be afraid they will think they're being hit on
Tell a dirty joke, all nice girls like a dirty joke
then they also see you as a sexual being not the guy who holds the door open for them all the time
Tell a dirty joke, all nice girls like a dirty joke
then they also see you as a sexual being not the guy who holds the door open for them all the time
Flirting is anything that establishes sexual tension between two people. So there is no set conformist rules to this. Essentially all girls are the same and love a guy who will challenge them and not be p*ssy whipped by them. So be a challenge and do what works for your personality. My good mate is the best natural DJ ive ever seen, and he never "really" flirts. He's amazing at card magic and so sits back and impresses people with action rather than words, and the girls fly to him.
But ultimately like Jaggs said, just have fun and dont put so much emphasis on "flirting". Taking a wild guess, I'd say you may have confidence issues? try to just get to know girls without the sex factor. Once you get confident in talking to chicks then esculate to the next level.
But ultimately like Jaggs said, just have fun and dont put so much emphasis on "flirting". Taking a wild guess, I'd say you may have confidence issues? try to just get to know girls without the sex factor. Once you get confident in talking to chicks then esculate to the next level.