"I don't deserve you" Low IL, or what?

[PoZest]

I left a LTR to get with this HB9 who I've slept with maybe 4 times now and would always meet up whenever free.
It seemed as soon as my LTR was completely over with, she starts being distant and sending unusually short texts.
I'm guessing people will say she just wanted the assurance to see if I'd leave a relationship for her, and I sort of did.

I decided not to text her one day, but she text me, saying are you ok?

I (maybe shouldn't have) called her on being distant with me, and she said 'I promise this is not about you' and that she feels really bad but she's always got no energy and tired/headache and needs to go to a doctor about it. I know work is stressful for her and the whole situation with my ex and friends also, but it never used to stop her wanting to meet up etc.
I said I understand, and I let her know that I can't put up with her being distant and I will give up soon, and that I would have done a few days ago but I really liked her. (Idiot, I know)
She replied saying 'I love you and I don't want to lose you' and promised she would be back to the way she was. She said she doesn't deserve how understanding I am, and that she just doesn't know whats wrong with her...

Now I am unsure on what to do. Do I wait for her to be "back to normal". Do I still text frequent conversation, or make everything breif and rare? Or completely NC unless she texts/calls first? I'd rather people didn't just tell me to Next her, as even if its not gona be a relationship, I'd like to sleep with her again anyway as she is hot. But I get the feeling her IL level is declined or something. Whats a good sign of a lowering IL? Can I save this one or not?

Be as harsh and blunt as you want guys. I do not want to get all oneitis on this and ruin it.

 

[Zion]

So you slept together 4 times and she loves you already ? That's...strange.



Anyway , stop trying to figure out what's wrong with her and start doing your own thing.

Soft next her. Treat her almost as you usually do , but keep your eyes open for other possibilities.

If she gets her **** together ,perfect. If not , you're probably gonna find someone else.

 

[LongLostFriend]

What other plates are you spinning right now?

 

[Skyline]

I left a LTR to get with this HB9 who I've slept with maybe 4 times now and would always meet up whenever free.
It seemed as soon as my LTR was completely over with, she starts being distant and sending unusually short texts.


I decided not to text her one day, but she text me, saying are you ok?

I (maybe shouldn't have) called her on being distant with me, and she said 'I promise this is not about you' and that she feels really bad but she's always got no energy and tired/headache and needs to go to a doctor about it.
I said I understand, and I let her know that I can't put up with her being distant and I will give up soon, and that I would have done a few days ago but I really liked her. (Idiot, I know)
She replied saying 'I love you and I don't want to lose you' and promised she would be back to the way she was. She said she doesn't deserve how understanding I am, and that she just doesn't know whats wrong with her...

Now I am unsure on what to do. Do I wait for her to be "back to normal". Do I still text frequent conversation, or make everything breif and rare? Or completely NC unless she texts/calls first?

Waiting for her to be "back to normal" is really her just wanting you back, unless you really want that. She obviously still wants you since she even put herself down to try and guilt you back into it and if you just want sex I'd recommend the "if she texts/initiates first step." It would make her want you more increasing your chances of getting laid.

 

[Neon Owl]

Some women simply can't handle a guy treating them well. They're so used to being with d1cks who treat them like **** they don't feel they deserve to be loved.
This is what ended up driving my ex away. As soon as I started showing her more affection/telling her I loved her (after she said it first) she grew more and more distant until she wouldn't even say it back when I said I loved her.
After the break up we were talking and she said 'you always treated me nice...maybe too nice. I just wasn't used to it'

 

[PoZest]

Some women simply can't handle a guy treating them well. They're so used to being with d1cks who treat them like **** they don't feel they deserve to be loved.

I think thats true too, she's spoke about ex's shes had who haven't sounded the best people to be honest...

Waiting for her to be "back to normal" is really her just wanting you back, unless you really want that. She obviously still wants you since she even put herself down to try and guilt you back into it and if you just want sex I'd recommend the "if she texts/initiates first step." It would make her want you more increasing your chances of getting laid.

I do hope you're right here and this works.

What other plates are you spinning right now?

True, none. Good point, maybe I should... for oneitis

So you slept together 4 times and she loves you already ? That's...strange.

Yeah, we have known each other for 2 years, and been good friends. She was the first to say this though, as I would never have done first. And we had had sex twice at this point.

Thanks for these replies, I think I will sort of back off from starting conversations etc. and see how it goes with her IL. I would like advice when she does text though if possible... Ya'll

 

[casaanova]

There's probably another guy involved. It's nothing you did; when you guys broke up for whatever reason, she went out with her gfs and ended up with someone. And he's probably not giving her much attention, so she wants the old comfort from you.

 

[PoZest]

I see, that doesn't sound good then. Could be true, but I'd like to believe it wasn't since she does text me throughout the whole day and there doesn't seem to be a time she's with another guy. But anythings possible I guess...
Since I've said there are no other plates spinning at the moment, what if I say something to her like, I'm waiting for her to be back to normal when there's other girls who have asked me to go out etc. if I tell her I've put these other girls off for a while but now that I haven't seen her for a week I might go out with them? Is there a way to say that without sounding like I just did?

 

[evan12]

I think she is seeing you now as a single desperate , no more challenge.
also if a woman say you are treating me so nice , that mean you are not acting like a man but acting like a woman by giving a lot of kindness and love

 

[buzzin_frog]

I left a LTR to get with this HB9.

Is she rerally a 9?

It seemed as soon as my LTR was completely over with, she starts being distant and sending unusually short texts.

not good

I decided not to text her one day, but she text me, saying are you ok?

I (maybe shouldn't have) called her on being distant with me, and she said 'I promise this is not about you' and that she feels really bad but she's always got no energy and tired/headache and needs to go to a doctor about it. I know work is stressful for her and the whole situation with my ex and friends also, but it never used to stop her wanting to meet up etc.
I said I understand, and I let her know that I can't put up with her being distant and I will give up soon, and that I would have done a few days ago but I really liked her. (Idiot, I know)
She replied saying 'I love you and I don't want to lose you' and promised she would be back to the way she was. She said she doesn't deserve how understanding I am, and that she just doesn't know whats wrong with her...

Now I am unsure on what to do. Do I wait for her to be "back to normal". Do I still text frequent conversation, or make everything breif and rare? Or completely NC unless she texts/calls first? I'd rather people didn't just tell me to Next her, as even if its not gona be a relationship, I'd like to sleep with her again anyway as she is hot. But I get the feeling her IL level is declined or something. Whats a good sign of a lowering IL? Can I save this one or not?

Be as harsh and blunt as you want guys. I do not want to get all oneitis on this and ruin it.

She is pushing you away....girls that say that feel like they are unworthy of having a nice guy....or they do that to get rid of the nice guy.... they say that so they can make excuses why they don't want you. then she will go into her list to as why.

why should you ever wait on a chick? you should never do that!! do what you want and meet other women.....women are not worth waiting on!!

this chick doesn't seem to have her priorities straight...you already had sex 4 times so you got what you wanted!!

no need to catch feelings on a chick who is pushing you away!!

put her on the bottom of your list.....see if she shows enough interest to hook up....otherwise make her do all the contacting and initiating with everything...then set up a lay if yoiu can....but don't count on it.

move on and find some new women....there are plenty of more out there!!

 

[floydb25]

Never give up everything for a *****. Sounds like she only wanted you when she couldn't have you. Now that you're available, she's confused and emotionally retarded. Which means you're probably going to end up with nothing, or as a back-up, as she weeds through other options.

Always put yourself first... Don't depend on others to stay true / loyal or have genuine care for you. Don't dump stability for uncertainty. Don't care if they are "hot" when it comes to these decisions. They're usually not relationship material, anyway. As you can see by this dumbass.

 

[PoZest]

Thanks for the responses. They've all helped and I'm trying not to AFC it here.

Turns out though, that her best friend has been in a bad way and almost suicidal etc. and she has to spend a lot of time with her. (I know this is definitely true also) but over probably the next few weeks, its likely I won't see her as much.

Before this we went for about 4 weeks where we hooked up every day, and I will probably find it hard seeing her once a week or fortnight. What can I do to stop oneitis here, and get HER to initiate a meet up because I don't want to have to ask and for her to say she can't shes with her friend etc.
...
Do I talk about the sex we had etc.? At the moment she doesn't seem to be interested in that and still texts often but its never anything flirty or anything like that. I'm thinking I should just give her some time but I'm probably going to struggle with being AFC when she texts and I know it sounds gay but I miss seeing her and the sex. Don't want to tell her this incase she feels she has all the power. Which maybe she will if I ask to see her?
Should I still NC her unless she texts first. And when she does, just reply normal but not ask her to meet up? Should I even ignore (if i can) her texts for a while. I don't want her IL to drop.