"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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I Don't Care

AFK Protector

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I've gotten to a point in my life where I just either am too lazy, or don't care about getting women or doing stuff to impress them. I figured, why am I trying to be Superman? Is this what I really want? I know I can't handle the responsibility. Thing is, people pour their problems and issues into my ears and I give them advice making lots of friends. I have problems of my own though. I don't feel like talking about it, because they are small compared to what's happening in the world and the ones I've heard. I'm just kind of tired of this game.

Have any of you just felt like, "ahh **** it all" and just lived life in a calm, "whatever" kind of way? Its been on for a few days now. Lemme know if you've felt this way, cuz if no one has, I need to see a doctor. Thanks as always.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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tactic

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got genes?
 

AFK Protector

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Um....yea I have genes.

I'm not lazy or anything. I do sports and work out daily. I do well in school. I'm social. I have a ton of friends. I just feel like....the hell with all this girl nonsense. I don't care anymore.

kinda like, I don't give a damn if she likes me or not. I'm just gonna be like who I want and she can go fvck herself if she expects me to change. I used to change for the women. Not anymore. I just say what's in my mind. er....yea. Maybe this is a disease.
 

tactic

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yeah thats pretty good if you don't give a damn

i learned how to not give a damn by myself... think army or someone strong. the way how some of us try to tell people what to do to help means more than just the words... its like i want to tell some people here to just experience things themselves but only i can be sure much more than others who have never learned this fact before.
 

Wonderbread166

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And you're depressed about this? You should be happy- you've reached a point where girls no longer matter. Now you can focus on what really matters to you. What do you want to do in life?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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RedKnight04

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Dude, I have felt that way many times. Usually after a rejection or something.

To be quite frank with you man, Its all in your big A$$ head. Take a minute and just smoke a doobie or drink a beer and buy a RELAXING CD instead of listening to DMX and talk to yourself a little bit. I found one at target for like $10 dollars. Use it as a time to unwind, meditate, and seperate you from the world for a second.

When I do this it usually feels like theres an intermission in my reality life for an hour. Like when you go to a play and have that time to catch up.

Find out what you want and just THINK.

Try this because it worked for me.

PLUS, if you feel that way it doesn't do you much good unless you want to donate lots of money to XBox.

Perceive what happens to you...Albert Einstein once said "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." This can be the start of your mind changing...It could be instead of depression that your mind is getting excited because your body is starting to GET IT. This could very well be your last day in an AFC reality! Congrats!

Control that fukking Internal Dialogue because that is whats beating your A$$ into the grass my man.

Can't you see that your presence around women is allready starting to change? I realized that every rejection I get - things start to look up. It gets better than the last one. I don't give a flying fukk about what happens during my pick-ups or whatever because I am in touch with myself and have enough control to smack the $hit out of my ID and get it back to the present where all my focus needs to be.

Whats probably most important of all is have FUN! When I go out with a girl I am not thinking to myself - "Hey, Knight you think she's gonna like us? Am I going to get some?" HELL NO!

"I am going to go make her laugh, bust her chops, and have as much fun as I possibly can. My personality will shine and make her wonder about me and want to know more and more about me."

I LOVE MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH!

Even though I am on here talking to you like I am a cyber internet bafoon - I love cracking up with people and sharing good times. Be a clown around women and your friends sometimes...Don't take things so seriously. Get off your ass and want more out of life and drop the past. Fukk that $hit straight out of your mind and think about where your heading now....Remember that old saying? Success is a journey not a destination. Some of the worlds most successful people didn't wake up one day and say "hey, you know what? I made it."

So quit trying to be so damn perfect and just live the game of life that G-D has for us...because if you don't your going to wind up just another nutless wonder who can't drop his remote for 2 seconds and ATLEAST try to make a better social life for himself.

I went out with this girl last night that was great...I worked different angles of destiny and teased her a whole lot and through in some kino for a little dessert which was very sweet. And you know what? Every time I would say something my dumba$$ head would say:

- Am I doing what I am supposed to be?
- Damn did I fukk this up?
- Am I who I want to be?

Immediatly I realized that it means nothing - I am thinking about this chick like shes the last one on earth! I slapped sense back into my head and got back into my reality of having a good time and fun.

And if I did get rejected, theres plenty of women out there that I can regain the confidence to approach.

There isn't "the one" out there..atleast I don't think so. I feel there are plenty of different women that all share different traits that the person I think is "the one" might not even have!

I just look at women like regular people that I joke and play around with.

So take whatever happens to you each day with a different frame of mind. A frame of mind that can wake up and say "I can."

Like arnold palmer said - "Success merely starts at a fellows will."

Strap that jacket over your ego and cover it because its going to get colder and colder if you look at $hit that way.

Whoever made it through this whole page, you deserve a Nobel Prize! I am not that well of a motivator but I had to say what just popped out of me when I read that post. :D
 

squirrels

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I've found the same thing.

I started thinking about it this weekend. I was at the club this Wednesday and managed to connect with this promo-girl who was working there. After some grinding and kissing, I got her number and figured, "Hey, if I call her up and she's still down, then maybe it'll be some good casual sex."

But then I started wondering if "casual sex" is really what I wanted. I mean, sex is a cheap thrill, yes, but then when it's over, after I bust my nut and finish, I don't ever feel good about it. It's like I just want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I think a LOT of the people who go out and hook up with different girls left and right (not all of them, some of them are TRUE cassanovas who really get off on casual sex, but they're few) are trying to prove something. People who have never had the masculinity and spirit to seduce women before find sites or reading materials like these and go out and seduce as many women as possible, trying to prove to themselves that they're still worthy of women, that they still have "what it takes."

If you look at the "natural alpha males," how often do you see them constantly prowling clubs looking for girls to bang? How often do you see them trying their "game" on random women? They don't. It's just that when a girl comes along that really interests them, they know exactly what to do and it's immediately "game-on."

I sincerely am starting to believe the casual flings I've had in my life, all the girls I've kissed in the clubs, the several I've made out with, the few I've actually f**ked...they're all me trying to prove to myself that I'm good enough to be liked by women. They're all me trying to replace the emptiness left by the lack of a GOOD women with several temporary sexual replacements that only last a few days before they need to be replaced again.

It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be me trying to make women like me. It should be me enjoying them and showing them a good time in the process.

I guess some people can get that out of casual sex. I just can't. I thought I could, but it's just a temporary fix. And a risky one at that. And every time I do it, it makes sex seem less significant.

I wonder how many of these "New Dons" finally get laid and then end up wishing they had their virginity back. In a way, I do. :) I don't regret any of the kisses I've given or received, any of the numbers I've called, any of the p00n I've touched or tasted, but I DO regret giving away my sex to women who really didn't deserve it, just to prove a point.

In the endless quest to claim women, we forget how special our sexuality and masculinity really are. Do just any women deserve to be our ladies, partners to men such as we? Hellz no! :D
 

gav

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i wish i could find that attitude, but at the moment i reek of desperation.

tell me something; if you don't give a sh1t about women, do you still make ec with girls in the street. - asking because even when i'm feeling like the prize to be sought, i still insist that i have to make ec with every girl that passes, which makes me feel needy inside.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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AFK Protector

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Wow, these responses are real eye openers. Its funny how when I tried to be DJ it worked...but it wasn't natural. When I stopped caring so much, I felt like nothing could stop me.

hehe, I can't quite drink/smoke a joint since I'm 16, not that I'd want to anyways.

Maybe this no masturbation thingy changed me. I didn't make it far, but then I read some stuff about prostate cancer like Porky did, then I was like, screw it. I do what I want when I need to do it. Funny thing is...now I don't whack off that much.

Thanks again to Metal, squirrels, Knight, tactic, and Wonderbread for your responses.

If this is the DJ mindset I like it.
 

AFK Protector

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Originally posted by gav
i wish i could find that attitude, but at the moment i reek of desperation.

tell me something; if you don't give a sh1t about women, do you still make ec with girls in the street. - asking because even when i'm feeling like the prize to be sought, i still insist that i have to make ec with every girl that passes, which makes me feel needy inside.
Well, I'll change "street" into "hallways of school." My neighborhood is extremely conservative and kids only go outside if they're little or to play sports. Anywho, if I don't know the girl, I don't make it a task for me to have EC with them. However, if I happen to be checking them out and they catch me, or our eyes meet, then I keep the EC until she breaks it. Usually they look back at me and smile until we pass.


And it's not just about women. I think it's about everything. I'm here to do my thing and move on. I stop for no one. Women....I don't stop for them either. I can't really give you a set of steps, because I just came up with stuff I'm satisfied with and sticking to it. It will be different for you. Good luck and thanks.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by gav
i wish i could find that attitude, but at the moment i reek of desperation.

tell me something; if you don't give a sh1t about women, do you still make ec with girls in the street. - asking because even when i'm feeling like the prize to be sought, i still insist that i have to make ec with every girl that passes, which makes me feel needy inside.
Man, sometimes you just gotta hit reset on your brain.

We keep building these little structures of how our world should be. Stimuli we get aren't structured. We build the mental ideas to help us organize and understand the world around us.

The one most of us were given as children was a meek, emasculated, and often hopeless and victimized outlook. It helped protect us and gave us a way to look at the world that made sense, but it restrained us from actualizing our true potential.

Then we found this stuff, we broke down the structure and stepped out into a fresh, unstructured world. We built a new reality and a new set of structures that empowered us, gave us a masculine, dominant, and self-owning view. But then just like the other structure, the thing that helped us up started holding us back. We reached a point where we wanted to operate outside of that structure and do things it wouldn't let us do, and it leaves us bored and needy.

The things you own...end up owning you.

The only solution is to break it down again. Start fresh. Take the best from all of your past creations and forge a new reality. Do this every so often to keep from becoming limited, bored, melancholy, helpless to steer your future.

You may never finish defining yourself. People may scoff at you knowing you'll die without knowing who you really are. But the funny thing is that by making a determination as to who you are, you limit yourself to that determination. Thus, those people who define themselves and are content with that definition are also restrained by it, whereas the man who continues to change the rules, tear down the old definition, and evolve will be more than any of them.

Read this post by Fingers:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=41738

It really puts a lot of things in perspective. :)
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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AFK Protector, try taking a break from this site, just to get your mind off women.
Don't get me wrong, finding this site is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, in so far as meeting women is concerned. I'd have been lost without it. But there comes a point where it's just you and a bunch of information you read and re-read.
For instance, how many clubbing posts are there? Seems like every weekend there's a newbie asking for tips for macking in clubs.
It's great to help newbies find their way to manhood. But there comes a time when you look at yourself as being your best charity case.
Consider taking a month off. If you've truly gotten to the point where you don't care, you won't be missing much, just a bunch of guys asking the same questions you did when you stumbled upon SoSuave.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Wonderbread166

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Go to that post squirrels mentioned, it is probably the most inspirational post I've read.
 

CLOONEY

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Originally posted by Wonderbread166
Go to that post squirrels mentioned, it is probably the most inspirational post I've read.
Agreed
 
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