I don´t get this girl?

[ladiesman1857]

Hello,

there is this girl I've met about a year ago and I really really liked her, and I am 99.99% sure that she liked me aswell. Now in that time I have never heard of this site before so I was the biggest AFC ever, and didn't make a move on her, even though she litterly almost asked for it by the signals she gave me for over a year time (I realize now). Now about two months ago I guess she was sick of it (and I don't blame her for that, if I were her I would do the same) and started dating some other guy I know. I was broken. But there was something I noticed about her. When she was talking to this guy she wasn't making much eyecontact with him and she looked at me while I wasn't even looking in their direction (only gazing there a couple of times and I saw her eyeballing me)! I just gave it a rest and decided to change myself, I was happy for her that she finally gotten a boyfriend.

Started looking up on the net how I have let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers and realized that I did many things wrong. I WAS UNREACTIVE!

So I did the newbie mission and have gotten a customer service job at one of the biggest retailers in Europe, interacting with strangers face to face and helping them to find a solution for their problems, and have gained a MASSIVE confidence and self esteem boost. I have also started working out, and already gained 5 kilograms of mass (not fat), I changed my clothes, my hairstyle, voice tone, my posture, everything (but not my believes)!

Now I walk through school as almost a different person and people barely recognize me anymore, they say I have changed, but in a good way! Girls are more receptive on me aswell. And now this girl I was trying to forget (but still like!) is glancing and staring and eyeballing me for the whole day! While she is dating someone else!

Now what should I do? Go after other girls, while I know I still like her ALOT (I think it is love, i am not sure), or make a move on her and have a chance of pissing off my entire social circle because I took her away from this dude? (I am not friends with him, only know him)

 

[roman81]

Sounds like you got oneitis, how serious is her relationship with the other guy? How much interest are you showing her?

 

[Aaron B]

why would you be concerned with pissing off the social circle? they will get over it

 

[ladiesman1857]

Relationship with him I do not really know, I do know that they have gone out once, mountainbiking with him, her, and a friend of him. So not very romantic. They also meet each other in clubs on saturday night. I also know that they have not kissed yet, otherwise they would be way more closer in school. I just see them flirt alot in person, facebook, twitter, etc.
but from what I have learned here is that what he does right now, is very needy. When the two of them were talking I was with my friends, and she actually went up to me (like 20 meters) to ask if I was taking a class later that day (its only me and her in that classroom, with some other people we both don't know).

What I think is that her friends put alot of pressure on her to meet him, like in school breaks, answering him on twitter when they are around etc.

At the moment I put little to no interest in her, when I see her looking at me I look her back straight in the eyes with a slight smile, but I don´t really chat her up on every occasion I have. Only small talk normal class mates do. Because as I have said, I am kind of trying to forget her, in case she does like this other man and I am just in a big illusion

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

All I can say man is this. When you care about what other people think, sh!t hits the fan. Do what YOU want to do. Don't worry about anyoneelse. and why are you analyzing them? You have nothing better to do with your time?

If you want her, go holla at her. Don't stalk her.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Strike up casual conversations with this girl and you will be able to feel her out (don't feel her up, feel her out).

You are a new man, so approach her with your new frame. I am DEAD-SET AGAINST trying to steal a girl's boyfriend in virtually every circumstance, because that is a crime against a brother. Others here might disagree with me on this, but I stand firm on my belief.

However, it sounds like it's possible that she is tagging this boyfriend of hers along while she is thinking of you night and day. If that is this case, a little tactical conversation will reveal it. I personally would not actively try to steal her away, but I would create the opportunity for her to make that decision.

If she is not in love with that guy, he is being hurt right now by her. The best thing that could happen to him would be to get rid of her. I think you need to make an intelligence run and get a feeling for the situation. Just have a little casual conversation and you should be able to figure it out.

Don't try to steal her away. If she is wrong for this other guy, and vice versa, then the inevitable will happen, not by manipulation but because she already knows where her heart lies. It will be like water finding its own level.

This is a very rare instance where I recommend at least investigating what the possibilities are. I personally would rather get rid of a girl who keeps on making eyes at another man. Tread carefully and don't do damage to that guy. If her heart is with you, she will make her own decision.

 

[ladiesman1857]

Thank you for your posts guys, tomorrow I will talk with her casually and let her know I am there (in a very subtle way)