"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I dodged the bullet

amoka

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Some of you may be aware that I broke up with my girlfriend of 2.5 yrs back in June 09. We broke up because I simply do not see us together as a couple or partner due to her previous history with her exes. Anyway, after the breakup, I felt a bit remorseful and wanted her back but she did not want to because she already has an interest in another guy. So things died of between us and I figured we both moved on. I got my share of women and all.

Few days ago I was doing my regular jogging and there she was walking her dog. We talked a bit about life and all. I told her about a woman I hooked up with when I went to chicage few weeks ago... and continue to talk to this woman who is an OBGYN. (She does not live in my city). I could see she was jealous deep inside after I told her this.

Anyway, last Friday I went out with my boys and around 1:30am I received a call from this girl and she wanted me to come sleep over at her place because her boyfriend has traveled out of the city. I told her I'm with friends and will call her later when I get home. I called her when I got back and I went to her place. Apparently she was drank.

There was no sex because I did not want to... I think she was on her period because there were pad raps in the garbage can when I went to the bathroom. On some occasions, she wanted to touch my d!ck but I had to push her hands off.

Later when I was about leave, she told me "this was a mistake, I was drank so don't think I wanted you here." I did not even respond to her. This kind of behavior was what exactly I suspected her of doing when we were dating. I'm just glad, dodged this bullet.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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L B

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It's good that you dodged her in the past. Why bother seeing her now? Why bring back unnecessary drama to life?
 

Aenigma

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She was feeling hurt and rejected by you dating someone better then her (the ob/gyn). She had you over in order to snare you temporarily and then (most likely) dump you in order to salvage her ego; when you refused her sexually you cut into her ego even more- so that's why she said what she did on your way out.
 

DMSR76

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It's a good you didn't allow yourself to get drawn in any further. However, you shouldn't have gone to her place at all, man. It's never worth the drama that WILL ensue.

Eject this broad once and for all.
 
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decades

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after 2.5 years you went and slept over at your Xs? sometimes our business with people in our lives is never Finished.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jophil28

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Aenigma said:
She was feeling hurt and rejected by you dating someone better then her (the ob/gyn). She had you over in order to snare you temporarily and then (most likely) dump you in order to salvage her ego; when you refused her sexually you cut into her ego even more- so that's why she said what she did on your way out.
Exactly and precisely Spot On.
I am surprised that any guy (like Amoka) who has been on this forum for a while did not recognize this classic female ego preservation attempt.

However he did OK by resisting her stupid drunken pvssy magnet.
 

jophil28

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slaog said:
BTW, what does OBGYN mean?
Aka a Gynaecologist outside the USA... a chick doctor.
 

Jitterbug

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Call me paranoid but I follow these rules when it comes to exes that I've had a bad break-up with or are known to be crazy:

- Don't sleep under the same roof - her roof, my roof, some mutual friend's roof etc.
- Don't let her drive me anywhere
- Don't let her buy me a drink or a meal. In fact, don't get drunk if she's around, and get the hell away from her if she's drunk.

Coz next thing you know, you wake up missing some body part, or wrap around a lamp post, or get a false rape accusation.

The last two happened to two guys I know. The car accident didn't happen, fortunately, but the ***** did try to crash & kill him. The false rape accusation was torn down thanks to friends but the guy had the worst 2 days of his life.
 

jophil28

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Jitterbug said:
- Don't sleep under the same roof - her roof, my roof, some mutual friend's roof etc.
- Don't let her drive me anywhere
- Don't let her buy me a drink or a meal. In fact, don't get drunk if she's around, and get the hell away from her if she's drunk.
Good words- good self preservation.

When it come to EX'es, just DON'T.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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amoka

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I forgot to mention she has gained about 10lb over the 4 months period that we broke up. I on the other hand have lost about 20lbs over the same period. She was telling her friend via text messaging, while I was there, that she wanted to cuddle but my body is now so stiff like a log. I then told her she has gained so much weight that I can't even see myself with her.
 
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