I didn't think women could hurt me anymore

[SW15]

Don't disagree with you there, but in a perfect world a woman wouldn't ghost you after having sex or flake but it happens all the time hence this site still exist and will continue too until the owner decides to pack it up

It looks like that was @FlexpertHamilton 's original quote and not mine.

Anyway, men get ghosted after sex. None of us want to get ghosted after sex but it can happen.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

That's just womens nature man, even if they're in love, they have a switch that just forgets everything good and then you become the bad guy, women are made to suffer, they are prisoners of their emotions, they don't think straight, they make bad decisions based on their emotions, they don't think long term, society and social media reinforce all of that.

Yup, I'm aware of that. Once a married women stops loving her husband, (whether it's for a valid reason or just hypergamy), she completely disregards him as a non-entity and thus feels perfectly entitled to treat him like dirt and completely erases all the previous good memories and their associated positive emotions. Their entire reality is created on a moment to moment basis based off current feelings, in a sense it's not a static thing like memories would be - an analogy is that women store their memories as RAM instead of disk data and they interpret those memories completely through their current emotional state rather than anything resembling objectivity.

OP,

You have been here for awhile and already know everything we are going to say. But remember the adage: "always believe someone the first time they show you who they are." She ghosted you for three months initially. This second ghosting, despite good sex, shouldn't have come as any type of surprise to you, consciously or subconsciously. I would say that is the only thing that is surprising about your original post.

Past that point, we all have women who, despite us being red pilled, still have that "it" factor that makes us care about them more than we should. Even when they show us we shouldn't. So no one here should be judging you. And if anyone here is acting like they are 100% insulated from ever feeling that way again, they are only fooling themselves.

Also, my personal opinion, is the long delayed wait times on responding to texts is downright silly. I understand why you waited 24 hours when she didn't respond for 36, but I wouldn't stoop to that at all. It is game-playing. As a man, I simply respond when I want to and how I want to. Don't fall slave to feeling like you need to game-play just because she is. Although I am sure there are plenty DJs here who will disagree with me on that.

Yeah this keeps being brought up and I don't know if that actually happened. As I said previously, if I didn't even save her # or the conversation (which I normally do if I want to remember it even if it was bad) and I think more than likely we just barely chatted and it was uneventful. In fact, I now recall saying I wasn't really trying to date much lately. I think the convo had just fizzled out - which is not ghosting.

On your second point, I do agree text games are silly and I generally respond when I want. In this case I specifically waited not only out of principal but because I did not want to reply.

 

[The Duke]

That's just womens nature man, even if they're in love, they have a switch that just forgets everything good and then you become the bad guy, women are made to suffer, they are prisoners of their emotions, they don't think straight, they make bad decisions based on their emotions, they don't think long term, society and social media reinforce all of that.

Most men are the opposite, that's why a woman without a strong man is lost, without direction in life.

It is what it is man, same as man wanna sex with beautiful women, women are like that and can't be changed.

@The Duke is one of the guys who has done it all, has experience and his woman became rebel, imagine what would happen with less experienced guys.

@The Duke how do you accept women for what they are, how did you accept their nature?

All those points you mentioned are solid. A man needs to internalize all of that so he doesn't become so outcome dependent.

I stopped expecting something they would never be. I stopped taking them so serious, stopped anticipating what could be and kept things in the moment. They aren't to be fully understood at all times. They are a little child like. I realized you have to take the good with the bad. What makes them a pain to deal with is also what makes them great. Realize some may be in your life for a short time or a long time. Let the relationships flow as they will. Defining the relationship, being emotionally/sexually available is her job. Seducing her, leading her, and building attraction is your job. You do your part right and she isnt going anywhere. When it's not enjoyable or they cause you too much grief, it's time to find another one. Nothing lasts forever.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I was reading before I went to bed and this came up lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

I was reading before I went to bed and this came up lol

View attachment 13275

Yeah... It's ill-advised to discuss with your lady the raging hard-on you experience, whilst admiring photos of Unit 731's vivisections, UNTIL you've confirmed that she shares your passion for world history

On a more serious note: Where did you read that quote, Werk?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeah... It's ill-advised to discuss with your lady the raging hard-on you experience, whilst admiring photos of Unit 731's vivisections, UNTIL you've confirmed that she shares your passion for world history

On a more serious note: Where did you read that quote, Werk?

It’s called Laws of Human Nature.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Despite this, it still hurts a lot which makes it even more baffling. I know I'm not supposed to care, but that's just it, I do care. I'm not going to be like other posters and put on a machismo act.

IME when this happens it is simply my ego trying to warn me. We all have a base fear of tribal expulsion. Being ghosted or rejected triggers that, I think. Rationally and logically we do not need whatever woman to keep on living happily. But the ego does its job and we have to know when to realize it and not worry about it.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

IME when this happens it is simply my ego trying to warn me. We all have a base fear of tribal expulsion. Being ghosted or rejected triggers that, I think. Rationally and logically we do not need whatever woman to keep on living happily. But the ego does its job and we have to know when to realize it and not worry about it.

Yup. The biggest ego trip going is to pretend you don't have an ego (and we don't actually have one in a real sense, but it does exist conceptually as a powerful social/evolutionary tool that we cannot shake off no matter how much we try). Recognizing your ego and getting out of your own way is the key here.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Welcome to hookup culture where you can hook up with a girl and have great sex but no commitment, no pathway to a relationship, and where ghosting and flaking are most likely even if you did nothing wrong.

IMO Op did nothing wrong, I know the forum likes to pile on but unfortunately, it's the time we live in. I remember 20 years ago you made love to a woman 2-3 times she was yours, it was like women were mini-infatuated with you. This changed overnight once smartphones and social media came in

Once again bro you did nothing wrong, except for being human, I said it a few years ago but if you wanna be successful in modern dating, especially with OLD you literally have to be a sociopath, it's that bad

IMO is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship or commitment but good luck finding that in OLD

Even if you meet a quality girl with OLD nothing is set in stone until she deletes the app and shows an effort to be with you, most women in OLD have some issue whether they are relationship avoidant, emotionally unavailable or just straight-up hot messes doesn't matter how pretty they are, it's reason why they are on the app

Experiencing pain would be understandable, IF

-This were a woman OP had been married to for at least a minute

-He arrived home early one day, and discovered her on all fours, in the middle of the living room

-The dude behind the ol'ball'n'chain was his own father, whom she was allowing through the backdoor, despite never offering him(her husband)anything more than missionary

His reality, at least as he's described it, isn't remotely comparable to the hypothetical I just provided. He shagged this broad a couple of times, and started imagining a strong emotional connection with her

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Experiencing pain would be understandable, IF

-This were a woman OP had been married to for at least a minute

-He arrived home early one day, only discover her on all fours, in the middle of the living room

-The dude behind the ol'ball'n'chain was his own father, whom she was allowing through the backdoor, despite never offering him(her husband)anything more than missionary

His reality, at least as he's described it, isn't remotely comparable to such the hypothetical I just provided. He shagged this broad a couple of times, and started imagining a strong emotional connection with her

That's like saying someone in America doesn't have the right to be upset for losing their job because there are people starving in Africa or someone in prison doesn't have the right to feel hopeless because there are people in labor camps in North Korea. Fallacy of Relative Privation.

Besides, I didn't say this was life shattering pain or comparible to anything you mentioned which would be beyond devestating. That doesn't mean smaller scale experiences like this can't still suck to deal with. However, I will say this actually hurt almost as much as the last 3 relationships I had over the last 2.5 years, one of which was several months long. In fact, when I broke up with my last GF I literally felt nothing after even though I really liked her. There have been numerous women i've banged once or several times and never saw them again and I felt fvck all from those experiences too. I don't post about them because I don't care. It's not like i've only fvcked a small handful of women and developed oneitis for the first time like I was 20 again. I've been around. Hence why I made this topic, to show that experience doesn't make you immune.

This doesn't have to make sense. Feelings are what they are.

 

[BaronOfHair]

This doesn't have to make sense. Feelings are what they are.

Emotions exist... It's our insane thoughts and beliefs which generate those feelings which are nonsensical. Recognizing this is essential, ESPECIALLY if you're going to claim to be a man, rather than a 12 year old girl in junior high

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Emotions exist... It's our insane thoughts and beliefs which generate those feelings which are nonsensical. Recognizing this is essential, ESPECIALLY if you're going to claim to be a man, rather than a 12 year old girl in junior high

I don't agree I think emotions come first and we try to rationalize them with thoughts because our ego wants to think it's in control. If you think otherwise, then explain how people wake up in middle of the night with intense worry or panic if they were asleep beforehand. Emotions actually arise in our body and our conscious mind think it's creating them. All we can really do is learn from them and realize they can betray and mislead us at times and not take them too seriously and learn how to trust our gut feelings.

See my signature for more info.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I don't agree I think emotions come first and we try to rationalize them with thoughts because our ego wants to think it's in control. If you think otherwise....

It's not me, but the evidence https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ings-first-or-second-the-pursuit-of-happiness you should believe

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's not me, but the evidence https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ings-first-or-second-the-pursuit-of-happiness you should believe

psychology today is a joke and modern psychology is gynocentric/feminist horseshvt in general. i'll stick with Hume and Kierkegaard

on your point though. thoughts can of course influence emotions. the Greek and Roman Stoics used this to their advantage

 

[BaronOfHair]

psychology today is a joke and modern psychology is gynocentric/feminist horseshvt in general

The headine of that article is "Western culture puts feelings first", and the author clearly disapproves. Hardly "gynocentric", whatever the hell THAT vacant fuzzword means anymore. With great respect, Flex, asserting that emotions just happen to you, and denying that your own cognitions aren't at least 50% responsible for their creation, is extremely feminine

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

The headine of that article is "Western culture puts feelings first", and the author clearly disapproves. Hardly "gynocentric", whatever the hell THAT vacant fuzzword means anymore. With great respect, Flex, asserting that emotions just happen to you, and denying that your own cognitions aren't at least 50% responsible for their creation, is extremely feminine

i didn't say thoughts don't effect emotions. im well versed in Stoicism and this is a huge part of what they preach. my point is we don't ultimately decide our emotions. but its getting late and i would be better off responding to this tomorrow plus its getting way off topic. make a new topic if you want to discuss this more

 

[Chow Mein]

Yup, you have some work to do in controlling your ego.

 

[pipeman84]

She absolutely is crazy. She's on 3 medications and she told me her habit of picking at her scalp and fingers to the point of getting scabs. Again, between that and her body count (that I estimate to be anywhere from 50-100, possibly more based on the things she would say),

She is a hoe (she told me all sorts of stories that indicate it), and I literally nutted inside her for our first date.

You're having unprotected sex with a crazy hoe? So you ended up ghosted. Count yourself lucky, you could've gotten stabbed, killed, accused of rape and all sorts of other bad things.

I could have real, raw, deep conversations with her, and we had a surprising number of things in common with, and not trivial things either but things I actually care about.

The reason I am upset is the fact we had a lot of things in common (which is quite rare for me, and probably for her - for instance she said she hasn't met many men who don't want kids, and most women I meet who share this sentiment express how rare it is, too), and we genuinely connected on a deep level, only for her to ghost me out of the blue for no reason.

What's this, stand-up comedy? You're getting all close, vulnerable and talking about kids with an obvious hoe? With this type of woman you shouldn't trust asking what time it is or what's the weather outside like.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yup, you have some work to do in controlling your ego.

What does that mean, in your own words?

You're having unprotected sex with a crazy hoe? So you ended up ghosted. Count yourself lucky, you could've gotten stabbed, killed, accused of rape and all sorts of other bad things.

In the last 2.5 years I've had sex with about a 15 women and almost all of them were unprotected. I've never had experiences like you described, though maybe i'm lucky. I always bounce once the true crazy shows up. Everything about her "craziness" is based on what she told me herself, not how she acted, so it could very well have been made up, considering how much women love to be victims nowadays.

What's this, stand-up comedy? You're getting all close, vulnerable and talking about kids with an obvious hoe? With this type of woman you shouldn't trust asking what time it is or what's the weather outside like.

We weren't talking about it in the context of ourselves, but just rambingly/tangential discussions about lifestyles. It just came up. Idk why talking about lifestyle preferences is off limits with a hoe.

I know you can't trust crazy hoes but I'm not seeing the issue in sharing some things about yourself like your preference to live alone or your mutual desire to not want kids. It's not like I'm sharing intimate details about my past. I literally told her nothing about my past.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I've said this before but "commitment" isn't just about "not cheating" but how woman present themselves to the world and whether she respects your boundaries.

I think most people misunderstand the word commitment with regards to a relationship.

If you are committed to your health you'll do what it takes to stay healthy.

If you are committed to your career you'll do what it takes to build and maintain a robust career.

If you are committed to learning a new language you'll do what it takes to become fluent.

But being committed in a relationship means, at least to a lot of ladies, you can do whatever you want, short of outright cheating, and the other person has to accept it.

Many modern ladies want guys to be committed to them without the ladies being committed, in the real sense of the word, in return.