The Nice Guy is Gone
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2005
- Messages
- 325
- Reaction score
- 3
I went to a party last night, and met lots of people. Some people I had sort of met before, but we got all that crap out of the way. I can't tell you exactly how many girls I approached or talked to because I don't know. I was mingling here and there and talking to everyone I felt like at the party. There is one situation that sticks out in mind:
I had been talking to this one girl, just making small talk, whatever. The key thing is I was comfortable and confident in myself all night, and I didn't really care what anyone thought--we'll come back to that at the end.
Anyway, this girl, we'll call her hb1, because there are a few things i'm about to say here, and that 'rating' is not a rating; it's just for a sense of order. So, I'm making talk with her, a couple of her girlfriends are with her, and some guy friends as well. I did not let this stop me. After a while, like I said, so much happened last night, that I'm just going to be able to give bits and pieces of this. After a while, they were talking about leaving, well, she was talking about leaving anyway, and I ask her why they are leaving. She says her ride is leaving, so I said, "If I can find you a ride, would you be able to stay a little longer." She answers, "So and so is my boyfriend." Turns out her boyfriend was right there in front of her as I was talking to her. I say, "I didn't know that, bf, my bad, have fun" And that was the end of that. This one taught me that it doesn't matter if guys are around or not--if you're cool about it, and have no fear, everything will be okay.
Now for a few others. I had to get someone to pick me up, and she had another girl with her. The driver was a friend of mine, so we're not going to talk about her. The other one, we'll call her hb2. We introduced ourselves in the car, and went to the party. She initiated the convo:
hb: what's your major (we're in a college town)
me: I'm not in school yet, but ....; what are you majoring in
hb: this and that
me: both of those make me cringe, how did you choose that
hb: (she answered and then went somewhere else to mingle with other people) showed no signs of interest all night, I still talked to her bit by bit, but decided against trying to number close.
Well into the night, these three hot girls come up to the party, and they are getting something to drink, and I say f*** it, and I introduce myself to all three of them and attempt some convo. I was pretty drunk by this stage and don't really remember what was said, but I do remember them dancing and shooting me down when trying to get them to dance with me. This was good because these girls were basically inseparable the entire night, and I approached them anyway.
Fear of rejection should mean no fear at all.
So, basically, here's what I have: We'll call this three approaches in one night, including one group approach; an almost attempt at a number close (if the bf hadn't been right there, I probably would've attempted a #close anyway); And one straight up 0-level interest that taught me that it does not matter whether they are interested or not, they will know you are interested, or pretend not to know if you don't let them know, simply by approaching.
Let's face it guys, typically, girls are smarter than guys, and if a random guy approaches them, or has conversation with them at a party, they know you may want to take it somewhere.
With all of that, my confidence is getting better and better each day, no more fear of rejection, and I will get to the point where I will approach who I want when I want just because I want to, whether there is a group around, be it guys or girls, or not.
The biggest fear of rejection is fear itself.
My above line: Fear of rejection should mean no fear at all.
I had been talking to this one girl, just making small talk, whatever. The key thing is I was comfortable and confident in myself all night, and I didn't really care what anyone thought--we'll come back to that at the end.
Anyway, this girl, we'll call her hb1, because there are a few things i'm about to say here, and that 'rating' is not a rating; it's just for a sense of order. So, I'm making talk with her, a couple of her girlfriends are with her, and some guy friends as well. I did not let this stop me. After a while, like I said, so much happened last night, that I'm just going to be able to give bits and pieces of this. After a while, they were talking about leaving, well, she was talking about leaving anyway, and I ask her why they are leaving. She says her ride is leaving, so I said, "If I can find you a ride, would you be able to stay a little longer." She answers, "So and so is my boyfriend." Turns out her boyfriend was right there in front of her as I was talking to her. I say, "I didn't know that, bf, my bad, have fun" And that was the end of that. This one taught me that it doesn't matter if guys are around or not--if you're cool about it, and have no fear, everything will be okay.
Now for a few others. I had to get someone to pick me up, and she had another girl with her. The driver was a friend of mine, so we're not going to talk about her. The other one, we'll call her hb2. We introduced ourselves in the car, and went to the party. She initiated the convo:
hb: what's your major (we're in a college town)
me: I'm not in school yet, but ....; what are you majoring in
hb: this and that
me: both of those make me cringe, how did you choose that
hb: (she answered and then went somewhere else to mingle with other people) showed no signs of interest all night, I still talked to her bit by bit, but decided against trying to number close.
Well into the night, these three hot girls come up to the party, and they are getting something to drink, and I say f*** it, and I introduce myself to all three of them and attempt some convo. I was pretty drunk by this stage and don't really remember what was said, but I do remember them dancing and shooting me down when trying to get them to dance with me. This was good because these girls were basically inseparable the entire night, and I approached them anyway.
Fear of rejection should mean no fear at all.
So, basically, here's what I have: We'll call this three approaches in one night, including one group approach; an almost attempt at a number close (if the bf hadn't been right there, I probably would've attempted a #close anyway); And one straight up 0-level interest that taught me that it does not matter whether they are interested or not, they will know you are interested, or pretend not to know if you don't let them know, simply by approaching.
Let's face it guys, typically, girls are smarter than guys, and if a random guy approaches them, or has conversation with them at a party, they know you may want to take it somewhere.
With all of that, my confidence is getting better and better each day, no more fear of rejection, and I will get to the point where I will approach who I want when I want just because I want to, whether there is a group around, be it guys or girls, or not.
The biggest fear of rejection is fear itself.
My above line: Fear of rejection should mean no fear at all.
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