Yo dude, alright you sound like you're in a rut, and NOT hopeless. I think you just need some inspiring words and a fresh outlook...here, read these three posts by Interceptor...really absorb them (especially The Forced March):
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=142890
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136262
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=141177
Have you read the DJ Bible? The Book Of Pook? I think those will help you greatly too.
And you do realize that you're doing a lot better than 90% of guys out there who are lost and are just fooling themselves into thinking that they are leading a successful life.
You're going to have rebuild and turn your life around stone by stone. You can't expect a change overnight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz4dVof3mTc
I think that song really applies to your situation.
Do you have anything going in that brings positive emotions (joy, pleasure, laughter) in your life? Think really hard dude. There has got to be at least ONE thing that makes you feel good that you must do on a regular basis. If you can't come up with anything, what are you waiting for?
For example, I use working out as a stress reliever. At the end of a body hurtin' workout, I feel GREAT! Because I feel that I have accomplished something ALL by myself and THAT is something that NOBODY can EVER take that away from me. Ever! It gives me confidence knowing that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to.
Point is, like Interceptor talks about a lot, you have to find a purpose in your life. It doesn't have to be a single purpose like saving the world. It can be multiple small purposes that are short term and long term, and might not sound very grand, but yet they are still purposes. If I elaborate more on it, I'll lose the meaning of it. Just refer to Interceptor's posts about (it's in Warrior's Scroll I think).
Anyway, ACT my man. ACT, ACT, ACT! You are a MAN! You are not supposed to sit there and loathe about your life and your state of mind. You know who does that? Women, children, old people with alzheimers, and mentally ill patients (schizo's, BPD's, etc.).
Are you one of those people? And don't give me that bull about depression/anxiety. Kick that crap to the curb my friend. You are not that person! You are better than that! Know it & EMBRACE IT!! :trouble: