It appears to me that you can't stop thinking of women because you know you're short-comings with them all too well, and that bothers you immensely. Yes? Perhaps deep down inside, you've come to the conclusion that marriage and children aren't for you, not because it's a true preference that brings a warm, inner peace that makes you feel great, but because it seems the unlikely scenerio that you must learn to accept in order to find peace within yourself?
I don't know for sure. I'm merely asking the question. But there is no peace in this method of reasoning, be it about marriage or whatother situations people typically strive for in sex and romance.
My short comings do bother me a great deal. I just want to forget all about it and move on with my life. As far as marriage and children go... I have many reasons as to why it isn't for me and also how it could work against me. I could write an entire book on those reasons. Also I don't see myself as a pessimist but more of a realist. I was brought up strictly traditional and was very hard for me to accept that reality. At first I was really depressed but now there are times that I feel at ease with NOT getting into this whole marriage nonsense. I've done some soul searching and realized that it just isn't for me. What bothers me most with women (besides my ****ed up though pattern) is not having any game or being able to bed a woman that some jerk off on the street could have so easily.
I have written many articles and posts here claiming a man can excell despite his short-comings. I am a true believer that imperfection plays no limiting role in success. I believe it to the core because I've proven it to myself many, many times over.
You appear to believe that as well; that there is no reason you can't make the best of what's available to you now?
Besides women I hate how I allowed my life to **** up so badly over the past year and a half. My education is "progressing" at a very slow pace due to other mental factors that are way out of my control, and I'm always feeling like I'm not intelligent enough to take on the world. I feel like a ****ing idiot all the goddamn time and come to think of it... for some reason it's been such a LONG time since I've truly enjoyed my life. The last time I felt genuinely happy was years ago and it had absolutely nothing to do with a woman.
You can't stop thinking because you haven't yet found your peace with this concept. You want to believe it, very badly, but aren't quite sure why you should. You're still not convinced beyond doubt, because you're not getting results from it yet.
I do believe it and it has nothing to do with my uncontrollable thoughts. I do think however that it has a little to do with the fact that so much time has passed me by and I've done so little. So many women out there wanting to get screwed and I get nothing.
Here's your answer, C-quenced: your life is not enrichened with a passion that can overshadow your failures. There is nothing in your life that can keep you high and walking on cloud 9 no matter how grim life becomes at times. You're stuck in the grim and gloomy realities of living with nothing to shine on. And you know that is what many women are looking for; that shining quality. But you've got nothing to roll on but stats: your job, perhaps, your living situation, your education level...whatever short-comings that highlight the failures of your existence. And you know you can't game women on these things alone.
You read me like a book there.
The answer is passion, my brother. A goal of any kind that immediately lights a fire under your ass and makes you want to live. When you find that, all of the shining qualities that attract women will automoatically come along with it. They'll want to tap into it and enjoy it with you. When you have that, women will makes exceptions for your short-comings.
Yeah I guess. I think I need a new positive environment where I can start fresh and maybe work my way from there. I need some serious work mentally and physically. I just want to enjoy my life. I have so many interests and so many goals but they all seem so far from my grasp. This environment that I live in is absolutely no ****ing good. I need to get the hell out but won't be able to, until I fix other portions of my twisted life. I feel like the laughing stock of the ****ing century.
. In fact I feel kind of weird and ****ing stupid posting something of this matter, and to some it may seem like irrelevant nonsense but it is negatively affecting my life. I know success doesn't happen overnight but I just want to be able to enjoy my life and focus on actual important tasks. NOT on women being my no. 1 priority. I remember enjoying my life a lot more before I began relying on them so goddamn much.