I can't stop from putting women on Pedastels.

[theapprentice]

Im pretty sure you know what this is about. You have probably heard it many times. Its simple me, I have apporach anixety, the reason I have apporach anxiety is because I dont do it enough and because I dont have enough confidence in myself and my self worth.

I've been trying to fix that but I still feel anxious during approaches and most of the time I dont even conduct them.

I was having a conversation with a friend when I asked him, "What am I supposed to base my self worth on" is it

1. the number of girls i f*cked
2. the amount of money I have
3. The size of my muscles
4. My popularity
5. My intelligence

He told me that his self worth is probably only 5-10% based on women and the rest on other things in his life like family, school, hobbies. What not.

I asked him that if he never had sex with a woman again if he could find it in himself to be happy and complete and feel good about himsef. He said he could.

What abou the hierarchy of needs?

I am aware that my inner game is fu*ked up. I have been trying to fix it for 3 yrs, in the hopes that when I thought about approaching that it would come easier. It hasnt, I still have the same doughts and fears. I still cant do what I set out to acomplish three years ago. To fix my inner game to make approaching easier. I still dont approach.

Regardless my inner game is F8cked up.

My friend told me that I put women on a pedistal, that I look at them from a postition underneath them. That means I see most women even 5-6's being more important and worthy as human beings than me. If a woman is on a pedistal that means that I dont consider myself worthy for her, that I am beneath her.

I've tried to remind myself of why women are equals, and that I dont need to be putting a woman on a pedastal. But when I see woman, when I see a woman walk by with her strut or sit there with her boobs out, and just her body, it makes me put her on a pedastal. Its very natural for me to assume a woman is better than me and that I dont deserve her. That seems to be the case everytime.

I also know that women are only sex objects for me, I've come to the conclusion that I only seek to meet women to have sex and to feel better about myself. Which of course is probably messing me up, esp the feel better about myself part.

The problem is that you have to start feeling better about yourself before you even think about apporaching otherwise if you feel ****ty about yourself the idea of approaching wont come across your mind, cuz fear will have you.

I really cant stop putting women on pedastels. i've tried to convince myself of my confidence, for three yrs i have tried to think i am the prince, I still dont feel it, I tired my best.

Woman on pedastal (low self esteem) = fear = no approach.

How can I stop placing women on a pedastel?

 

[KillaCam]

Putting women on pedastools is just the top of the problem. It's far from the root of your troubles, and you know that.

External sources do not create self-worth. I see a huge trend of the mentality that other things and other people will justify who you are. It is all in your mentality, your thinking, your psychological standpoint.

With a girl, you're shot from the beginning. I don't see you putting females above you so much, but more pulling yourself below them. Fortunately, you have already noticed that too, so you've covered the first step.

The answers are inside you. Think of it like this, hobbies, success at school and a happy environment in life are just the flashy accessories in a house. Self-worth is the pillars that hold up the house entirely.

Do not look for tangible things to pull you up. You need to say to yourself..actually, no, you need to tell yourself that successful self-improvement is the only option. Failure isn't when you don't get a girls number after an approach, but instead, it's not learning from it. There is no such thing as backward step, only a building block.

For some people, there comes a time when they are so pissed off about the direction of their life, that something snaps inside. But all it takes is a moment when you tell yourself that where you are right now in life is less than you are worth.

Write down everything you don't like in your life. Anything. Then write down everything you want in life. Anything at all. Link it up, work out what the differences are between your current situation and where you want to be. I personally don't know any magic words to make you click, but, fire inside you can burn away fear. It's natural to be scared, especially when you're jumping in the deep end and cold approaching out of nowhere. But you just have to do it to learn, there is no other way.

 

[theapprentice]

Ic

Is there anything I can do to change my self image, or self worth. Because I base my self worth on tangiable things. How do I start believing in myself even if I dont have the girls, the money, the sex etc.

How can my friend feel good about himself?

So there is no way for me to improve my self image and make approaching non-threathing, but I just have to go out and do it many times untill it becomes so?

 

[KillaCam]

Those tangible things will come when you're capable of earning them. Not the other way around.

Things like approaching are just hurdles. The more you throw yourself over it and try to clear it, the more natural it becomes. There will always be difficult approaches, and more often than not there will be a rejection around the corner. But true rewards outweight anything else, if you're willing to grab them.

Throw yourself in there. Once you've done the research and learnt the techniques, you cannot make anymore steps forward until you take risks and apply them. If it means you fvck up your first few approaches, then so be it. But you'll never succeed if you don't try!

Everything is easier said than done. But talking about it doesn't get it done, as you've found out. You just have to kick that doubt in the guts and do it.

When you plan it, you can do it. When you envision it, it's possible. But when you do it, it's real. I wish I could remember the exact quote, but Anthony Robbins said something along those lines. And he is definately no idiot when it comes to drive and motivation.

And just be happy. Being happy and smiling is one of the most underrated actions of life. Don't stress, don't fret, don't worry. Just enjoy life man, it's a hell of a ride.

 

[d9930380]

I just scanned this but I think I know your problem. You put women on pedestals but also only see them as sex objects. These two statements are contradictory and you have to resolve that first. This prevents you from doing anything.

You can't just **** them because your morals (seeing them as princesses) won't allow you.
You can't date them because you don't see them as worthwhile individuals that you would like to spend any time with.

You're torn between the dark side and the light side mate, it's time to choose. Either just see them as objects and act like that, guys like this get plenty of ***** because loads of women are dirty sluts, certainly at some times in their lives. Or see them as worthy individuals that you want to treat with respect and honour (however don't forget to play the game too because that will be seen as being "nice").

You might even realise the real truth. Nothing is black and white, we are all only human and it's time to realise that's true for girls too.