I can't stop being scared to approach the women I really want

[bigdave17]

I go out to bars and I constantly look for the perfect situation to approach someone (Either a girl by herself or with just 1 female friend or clearly showing signs of interest towards me, etc... etc...). I'm just so deathly afraid of rejection that i don't put myself out there unless I feel like it's a perfect situation to enter into


The end result is I don't talk to many women, don't approach many women, don't ask many women out. Now when I actually get to spend some time with a female in an isolated scenario, I do very very well. I don't often get rejected at all but the volume is so small that it's never anybody I want. I need to get the volume up so I have a decent chance of meeting the right person


How can i stop being terrified of rejection and be able to approach hot women without waiting for the perfect situation?

 

[Murk]

My man

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I make as much or more than you do, but not one of the women in the above pics knows that (they can only suspect it if they know the town I live in).
Half of these women will turn out to be boring as fvck to talk to.
A few will turn up as fickle gold-diggers.
One of them might even turn out to have 3 bratty, screaming kids at home.

A pretty face can hide a lot of negatives.

You just don't know until you dive in and get to know them.

I always appreciate a solid Amante post. Always the good stuff, always the sensible stuff. Like an injection of sanity.

 

[Urbanyst]

All approach anxiety is based on trying to date women out of your league.

You'll never be afraid to approach a woman in your league.

 

[Von]

I go out to bars and I constantly look for the perfect situation to approach someone (Either a girl by herself or with just 1 female friend or clearly showing signs of interest towards me, etc... etc...). I'm just so deathly afraid of rejection that i don't put myself out there unless I feel like it's a perfect situation to enter into


The end result is I don't talk to many women, don't approach many women, don't ask many women out. Now when I actually get to spend some time with a female in an isolated scenario, I do very very well. I don't often get rejected at all but the volume is so small that it's never anybody I want. I need to get the volume up so I have a decent chance of meeting the right person


How can i stop being terrified of rejection and be able to approach hot women without waiting for the perfect situation?

You do sales?

It's like Sales.

You approach, you talk... to the point you don't care of the results... you become outcome dependant. (notice in Sales, the people who make the most money with clients dealing... are the people who already make all the money.... they outcome dependant... they dont care if they win or lose... so they win)

What you need? Courage

Courage is not the absence of fear... it's overcoming fear.

The more you approach, the more courage you get, the easier it get, the more results you'll have.

Life happens when you move, people who have success... get more success... easy concept... not so easy to apply... totally worth it.

How I overcame my fear of approaching? I thought life would be better, if I wasn't afraid... life would be better if I could approach anyone I want and do everything I want....

It worked so far

 

[bigdave17]

Grow some balls and suck it up, cupcake. Rejection is a part of life.

Everyone gets rejected. Everyone. And I'm certainly no exception.

I can sit here and post sh*t all day long bragging how I can pull this and that and how I have it going on. This is me, for example, and a few pics of women who have expressed an interest in getting to know me through OLD, social media and other sources over the last week. I tend to think I do pretty well for myself at my older age.

But it doesn't matter. None of this. Because I get rejected ALL OF THE TIME. Practically daily.

I'm a decent looking guy but I'm no 9/10.
I make as much or more than you do, but not one of the women in the above pics knows that (they can only suspect it if they know the town I live in).
Half of these women will turn out to be boring as fvck to talk to.
A few will turn up as fickle gold-diggers.
One of them might even turn out to have 3 bratty, screaming kids at home.

A pretty face can hide a lot of negatives.

You just don't know until you dive in and get to know them.

You have to fail a lot to succeed big, Dave. If you're too afraid to do that, you'll never get what you want.

So grab those little berries between your legs and man the fvck up already. These threads of yours have gotten old.

Your comments about "half will turn out to be boring, gold diggers, etc...", trust me I know. Even most attractive women I get to know are nowhere near dating material

but anyways, let's get into specifics here. How do you overcome all the obstacles in the way? For example

- hot girls at gyms wearing headphones
- you go to a bar and a hot girl is there with 6 of her friends. You can't just barge in and start talking to her while she's hanging out with all her friends


just some examples, there's a lot more I can think off. My point is that there are usually a ton of obstacles in the way anytime you want to approach and ask a woman out and that's what I struggle with. When I have an easy scenario without too many obstacles in the way, I generally do very very well. Very few women get to know me and don't like me. Almost everybody can tell that I'm genuinely a very good person

 

[bigdave17]

All approach anxiety is based on trying to date women out of your league.

You'll never be afraid to approach a woman in your league.

I go for 6-8s. I don't approach women out of my league


but lol just lol if you think you won't get rejected by a woman in your league or even below your league. Lots of guys have been turned down by a woman even 2 points below their league if she was not in the mood or she thought he was a douche or whatever

 

[bigdave17]

I don't know about you, but my work in a gym is usually timed. Sets are timed. Breaks between sets are timed. Even sometimes the individual reps themselves are timed. I don't talk to people when they are working out because of this, and I wouldn't want to be bothered in that way all the same. But when the two of you are done or haven't started yet.... where's the obstacle? Chat 'em up at the juice bar or whatever.

the problem is, outside of the gym, I don't see many attractive and very fit women in their mid 20s that I even want to approach

I suppose I could do online dating but I can't even imagine the astronomical standards of your average 26 year old female on a dating site who is cute and in great shape

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Grow some balls and suck it up, cupcake. Rejection is a part of life.

Everyone gets rejected. Everyone. And I'm certainly no exception.

I can sit here and post sh*t all day long bragging how I can pull this and that and how I have it going on. This is me, for example, and a few pics of women who have expressed an interest in getting to know me through OLD, social media and other sources over the last week. I tend to think I do pretty well for myself at my older age.

But it doesn't matter. None of this. Because I get rejected ALL OF THE TIME. Practically daily.

I'm a decent looking guy but I'm no 9/10.
I make as much or more than you do, but not one of the women in the above pics knows that (they can only suspect it if they know the town I live in).
Half of these women will turn out to be boring as fvck to talk to.
A few will turn up as fickle gold-diggers.
One of them might even turn out to have 3 bratty, screaming kids at home.

A pretty face can hide a lot of negatives.

You just don't know until you dive in and get to know them.

You have to fail a lot to succeed big, Dave. If you're too afraid to do that, you'll never get what you want.

So grab those little berries between your legs and man the fvck up already. These threads of yours have gotten old.

I now see my problem. I went on Photofeeler and got 24% on my best picture and 2% on my worst.

There is nothing I can do to be good looking to them. No amount of sh1t I can sprinkle in my hair, stuff to inject in my face, hair transplants, skin care, nothing.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

If you are scared to approach, it likely is a glimpse into having more feminine nature, likely low testosterone, and your genes being weeded out of existence.