I can't read this girl!!

[Dannyrt34]

Hey guys. I've been dating a girl for several months now and I'm pretty confused. I can't get a read on her and it's driving me mad. Here's the background and what I do know about her. I'd like to hear some opinions.

Ok so a few months back. I met a great girl at a local bar. She's unbelievably nice. She don't really like drinking, and she don't even swear! Yea, kinda weird, also a good thing because I'm not real big on those either. Although I do have the mouth of a trucker. But We got along great from the get-go. We hung out for the first time about a week after I met her. We went out to Dave and Buster's and overall had a good time. I started slow with some light kino, and minor flirting. I basically got absolutely NO response from her at all. When I try to say something flirty she'll respond by just talking normal. Our conversations don't go anywhere beyond just plain friendly conversation. I try putting my arm around her, and she sits there with no reaction. Which makes it feel awkward so I of course remove the arm.

Now I'm fairly experienced with dating, and I usually can tell if a girl is into me. I was sure that we weren't going to be any more than just friends. It's impossible for me to escalate when I can't even do kino with a positive response from her.

Now I know better than to keep trying for the same girl when things aren't going anywehre. So I did start dating somebody else. Went out with this girl and got all the IOI's which make things alot easier. I put my arm around this girl and she leans close and puts her head on my shoulder. I flirt, she flirts back. Got the whole makeout sessions and stuff. But still didn't want any relationship with this one, we really didn't even get along or anything. (Keep in mind that I look for relationships) But it was a quick fling and then we stopped talking.

After some messin around I went back to talking to the first girl. Once again we go out and nothing special happens. We're stuck in the friendzone. But this is where the confusion comes in. Lately she does drop a few hints... EXTREMELY SUBTLE hints though.

We were talking about when we met, and she said "I was so happy that night I got your number." and things like that. After every night that we hang out she always calls or texts me to say she had a wonderful time.

I also happened to check her myspace, and EVERYTIME we make plans to hang out, she puts up a status message that says "Looking forward to seeing him tonight!". Or the one night I said I might come over to watch a movie with her. I read her status message that said "Exhausted after work, but he might come over so that's all that matters.". So now this gets me thinking that she is into me. But at the same time, when we actually HANG OUT together, she has no response to any escalating I try! I even met her mom, and her mom says she heard alot about me.

What's going on here?? And how the hell am I supposed to build up to anything with her if I can't even start slow? Seems like she tells everyone that she likes me, but doesn't show a dam thing when I'm with her.

I just want some of your opinions. Could she be shy? A virgin? (That would be hard to believe, she's 22 and really pretty) I'm really confused here.

Now remember, I like relationships. So keep that in mind with your responses. She does seem like a girl that's great for a relationships. I just don't understand this.

 

[horaholic]

Sounds like you need to lay it on the line with her, and ask her straight up what her deal is.

 

[Jitterbug]

You should post some details on how you tried to escalate. For example, how did you go for a kiss and what happened?

It could be that she's a very feminine / submissive girl and you're not being aggressive enough. For that type of girls, you should keep going unless you get a clear firm NO.

I dated a girl like that once and was similarly confused. I cut her off as I thought it wasn't going anywhere. Afterwards, based on what I learned from mutual friends and her own messages, I regretted that I wasn't more aggressive.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Hmm Could try being more aggressive. Not sure though. One time, when I was dropping her off at her house, I gave her a compliment on her lips to make it obvious of my intentions. Then I began leaning in to kiss her, and she just got out of the car before anything could happen.

 

[Faded Image]

I'm just going to through this out there regardless of the how off I could be.

Maybe, she's doing the same thing to you that you're trying to do to her.
You do know that women also have the access to websites similar to sosuave but for women.

Or maybe she's read/watched the best selling book/movie He's Just Not That Into You and she's not allowing herself to fall for your charm.

It could be many reasons and like I said earlier, I could be wrong.

It could also be that "She's Just Not That Into You" as you would like to believe.

:rockon:

 

[Jitterbug]

Hmm Could try being more aggressive. Not sure though. One time, when I was dropping her off at her house, I gave her a compliment on her lips to make it obvious of my intentions. Then I began leaning in to kiss her, and she just got out of the car before anything could happen.

Well, for the shyer girls, you gotta build it up instead of cutting straight from lip compliment to going in for a kiss. Escalate through these steps, keep going unless you get a firm NO:

- Touch arm
- Touch shoulder / upper arm
- Neck / hair near the ear
- Then turn her head / pull her in for a kiss.

Slow everything down, do not rush. Slow, but firm in every step.

If she turns you down, then you can either choose to make yourself less available to her, or just straight up ask her what the hell she's up to.

 

[Commandante]

It could be that she's a very feminine / submissive girl and you're not being aggressive enough. For that type of girls, you should keep going unless you get a clear firm NO.

Exactly. You could be more aggressive. The fact that she is 22 and really pretty doesn´t mean automatically the she is experienced in seduction / love.

I also happened to check her myspace, and EVERYTIME we make plans to hang out, she puts up a status message that says "Looking forward to seeing him tonight!".

Some girls like to plan everything ahead, especially if it´s about something important/romantic like the first kiss, first sex, big love, marriage, whatever. If the things are not following the plan (and in general they don´t), these girls can get insecure. For example if she has a plan/dream like "I wanted to be kissed the first time in my life a very romantic way". And you two are sitting together in front of the TV set after watching Saw 4 and you go for a kiss. In this situation she gets high probably insecure because you ruined her big plan. If the chick is like this you can ask her about her romantic dreams. But don´t ask her directly! Chicks are driven by emotions and not by logic, that´s why it doesn´t make any sense to ask them a logical question. If you know her dreams be the man of her dreams. As a second option you can give a fukk about her dreams and try to take her out of her confort zone. Make an appointment with her for something, pick up her with your car and tell her that you changed your mind and you are going to do something totally different. Figure out what she likes or what she would like to do but never did before. This way she is forced to leave her confort zone, give up her dreams at least for one day but still stay secure. Escalate.

 

[shaunuk]

The facebook statuses seem pretty overt...she clearly likes you from what you've told us.

You need to get kissing her somehow. I'd just keep it simple, first just put a kiss on her lips (not even a makeout kinda kiss right away) and she how she responds. Then do it again but this time open your mouth a bit and do a real kiss for a few seconds. If she resists all this there's some weird problems going on. If she kisses you back you know what to do. And if she lets you do it but doesn't say anything about it etc., just keep conversing as you were before, and do the same later as well.

 

[jophil28]

Hmm Could try being more aggressive. Not sure though. One time, when I was dropping her off at her house, I gave her a compliment on her lips to make it obvious of my intentions. Then I began leaning in to kiss her, and she just got out of the car before anything could happen.

I predict that you and she will eventually have 'nursing home sex' and spend your twilight lives in lust, arthritis and drinking metamusil....

Ya better get busy, my man.