I can't believe I'm 38 and haven't been on here in several years (Updates and suggestions needed)

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It took multiple years after the late 2000s/early 2010s recession for a lot of people to recover economically. COVID is an economic and social disaster.

That’s totally different. That was specifically the housing market crashing. The housing market affects EVERYTHING. This is mostly just small businesses. Everything else (from what I’ve been seeing anyway) has been rebounding at much faster rates than the 2008-era recession.

 

[SW15]

That’s totally different. That was specifically the housing market crashing. The housing market affects EVERYTHING. This is mostly just small businesses. Everything else (from what I’ve been seeing anyway) has been rebounding at much faster rates than the 2008-era recession.

The stock market is rebounding. The real economy is not. The dating market is likely to be a mess for a while. I estimated 2022.

For men, the economy is actually tied into our SMV. A guy who loses his jobs often loses his girlfriend or wife simultaneously. New dating efforts are severely hampered. All the guys who have taken layoffs in this have also taken a hit in their SMVs. Coronavirus has caused more breakups and divorces, and the marketplace is ill equipped for new things to start.

 

[bcude]

You would be truly optimistic if you expect things to go back to normal (pre Covid19) before 2020 ends, it's just not realistic. No vaccine, no herd immunity, another wave will come etc. this will take some time. Seems like they will have a vaccine ready at the end of the year though, which would be unheard of historically speaking.

 

[synergy1]

First of all good for you for getting things in order in your life, and managing a 7 year relationship without any nasty side effects. In my circle of friends who are close to our age, the longer relationships seem to be putting a strain on some who do not know what they want. While my perspective is seeking a girlfriend, theirs is completly the opposite and seem trapped in some regards. Thus, the grass is greener in many ways.

To echo a few of the comments here, I would say that swipe apps are almost a total waste of time. There are too many simps on those things which causes women to get a ton of matches and therefore a very short attention span. I could plan a date 2 or 3 days out, for example, and they would lose interest. In fact, this is very common. For myself, its killing my self esteem, which can make swipe apps sort of like a negative feedback loop. As others have said, I am contemplating simply getting rid of them.

Another comment about trying to meet friends through social cicles seems smart. I am thankful as all hell that I still have a group of friends who organize things and get together from time to time. It is in those rare instances where single women come along. If the group is cool, you make friends with the new people, and the single women can see you for who you are...which is a positive if you are outgoing. I had just an experience the previous weekend, although I didn't really have the self confidence to make anything of it. Point is, more opportunities are available to you when people can see you outside of those commodetized dating app.

Finally I wish I had something to add about how to meet women. Fitness classes can be okay, but not at the gym I go to. I've tried meetups, but those have all but died down here. I suppose the best I can offer is repeating what others have said and emphasizing that all it takes is to be social, outgoing, and interesting which will get you on womens radar.

best of luck to you man.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

T

Hi everyone,

Years ago I used to post my stories, field reports, questions here. I don't want to go back and review everything in detail but:

When I left here I was in a 7 year relationship that I ended (it ended violently, with her throwing everything of mine out and her getting arrested, then a restraining order was falsely put on me, etc etc etc.).

Long story short I have my **** together for the most part. I'm in much better shape than I was since my breakup almost 4 years ago (I'm into calisthenics) , I have a decent 60-65k job with potential to make a lot more and I'm single, living in a 1 bedroom in a quiet neighborhood away from the city. I'm very happy with how far I've come and looking forward to going further.

In the last couple of years I've been working on myself and improving my shortcomings. I definitely can go further, but I'm itching to date and get laid on the regular. This might ultimately be a distraction, depending on where and how hard I look around.

I went on plenty of fish and I'm getting good looking girls (albeit my age...) to "meet with me" but no message responses. It's weird, like the site is 90% bots. I want to meet girls, but at my age I'm still trying to figure out where to go. I have a handful of friends and when they want to go out it's sporadic, they also have wives or girlfriends to keep them occupied so I'm the only single guy in my circle of guy friends. I want to meet up with folks in a similar mindset.

Any suggestions on places I should start?

Tinder is easier for lays if you have a good physical image. The sex game is done a certain way in 2020 so it'll be faster to get the mindset and view point by hanging with guys who are doing it successfully.

The guys will discuss other sites that are even more successful ( bumble? ).

Anyway in your position of wanting to grow financially im not sure I'd want to talk to and lay with a bunch of "dumb" broads who aren't on that wavelength. It makes sense to talk to and lay with professional minded successful females.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

POF and Tinder always worked well for me. The trick is to peak their interest and actually write something worthwhile, most guys just write "hey there" and then wonder why they don't get a response. Put some effort into your initial messages.

 

[daproest1]

Damn, I am surprised to hear that you guys are in your mind 30s and having so much trouble. These should be your peak SMV years. Isn't now the time that ya'll have more options (girls in their prime - around 23-24) than ever (provided you've been playing your cards right)?

You’d think so, but they aren’t around. I think rollo might’ve gotten that one wrong. The best you’ll do is the 10 u found in YOUR mid 20s (who had the self esteem of a beaver) who was in her late teens or early 20s. That’s the one we all should’ve kept.

 

[7onriverI f]

You’d think so, but they aren’t around. I think rollo might’ve gotten that one wrong. The best you’ll do is the 10 u found in YOUR mid 20s (who had the self esteem of a beaver) who was in her late teens or early 20s. That’s the one we all should’ve kept.

Define 10?

Most of that rating is all for show. Guys wanting to date hot girls because the girl looks good and wants to be alpha dog. If thats what you wanna do then go for it. Some guys I know my date some of these hot girls but cheat on her with a 1 or worse. They even joke about it and say its all ego and it is. They get turned on by fat girls. Big deal.

I've been out with guys in the pua community and they are so focused on having two 10s on each of their arms. Approaching like mad guys getting blown out left right and centre doing it. I've done it hit on extremely attractive girls and get shut down pretty quickly by them just walking off. Game is more about just observing your environment and seeing which girls want you to approach them and some are 10s and some are 50 year old grannies depending on where you go and where the girls are at the time.

 

[daproest1]

Define 10?

Most of that rating is all for show. Guys wanting to date hot girls because the girl looks good and wants to be alpha dog. If thats what you wanna do then go for it. Some guys I know my date some of these hot girls but cheat on her with a 1 or worse. They even joke about it and say its all ego and it is. They get turned on by fat girls. Big deal.

I've been out with guys in the pua community and they are so focused on having two 10s on each of their arms. Approaching like mad guys getting blown out left right and centre doing it. I've done it hit on extremely attractive girls and get shut down pretty quickly by them just walking off. Game is more about just observing your environment and seeing which girls want you to approach them and some are 10s and some are 50 year old grannies depending on where you go and where the girls are at the time.

10 is what you’ve been dreaming about since you were a boy. Every detail down to the eyelashes. HER eyelashes. I had that. Lost it. Wish I didn’t. Good girl too. Smart. Submissive. Worshipped the ground I walked on.

 

[7onriverI f]

For me it’s running errands and having hobbies where women exist.

Don’t do the whole dating thing. The dating scene sucks.

If you place yourself around women, romance naturally happens.

You might have done a good job with your career and fitness, but you neglected your social life/hobbies/passions.

If you don’t have anything going on socially and you show up in the dating scene, you are showing up with a half empty glass.

Now you might get lucky and your sense of completeness is so strong that you end up manifesting a compatible woman on plenty of fish.

But you don’t want to rely on luck and incredible odds. You want the odds in your favor where it’s impossible not to get laid.

And that exists in social environments where women congregate with men. These same women that are hooking up with the men already in their immediate social environments are the same ones you see online.

You think they have no access to resources and they NEED online dating? They have an ecosystem of guys. That’s why they don’t reply to you.

So it’s time to create your own social ecosystem based on your hobbies/lifestyle/passions.

If your lifestyle involves sitting around a table with a bunch of degen gamblers which some are girls and are into you but mostly its guys your not going to get alot of girls who your interacting with most of the time because your quite busy. Best way is to go where the women are and where they are is in clubs where i am. convid in your region might of crapped on that. I've also picked up in mental health hospitals as well but don't go there if you can help it. Churches can be good if you believe in the right things.

I must add if you like older womens company bridge clubs are great for it. Its more social there and less dog eat dog than what its like at the poker table. Gyms have older women and younger women and can be a great way to meet women. Workplaces where theres women like bars/clubs some sales jobs, supermarkets, liquor stores even some factories even have girls. Backpacker hostels are also a great place to surround yourself with women who are mostly in the younger ranges.

I've never been to thailand or vegas but those two places if you wanna muck around with girls all the time for a fairly cheap price especially thailand and if you just interested in sex then go there. Some guys here who work in the mines go off to thailand in their time off and just bang asian girls left right and centre. Not something im 100% into and probably not going to put myself in that position where im led to bang hookers. I may just hang with them until things get too out of hand. Some hookers will even bang for no money because they like sex and your nice to them. You might have to work out a escape plan if you have worries.

 

[Snag87]

I know plenty of late-bloomers who peaked mid-30s in regards to sexual partners. The problem is they weren't having sex with women in their peak attractiveness years, rather women their age or a few years younger. This is to be expected I suppose. As you get older the playing field levels to a degree.

 

[bat soup]

Have you tried "Plentyofrottenfish" and "Snatch.com"?