"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I cannot get this girl out of my head. It's awful. Anyone been in this situation?

Brighty

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Well, I would appreciate any advice on my situation, I'm sorry for such a long read but I feel that knowing the backstory is important (and plus I need to get this off my chest) :

Liked this girl freshman year - lets call her Girl A - we talked but I did something stupid and messed things up between us. Let me give you a rundown of her - she's thin, has a gorgeous face, and while she doesn't have all the guys in the school drooling after her because she is inherently shy and keeps to herself, I still found myself drawn to her for some reason. I thought she wanted nothing to do with me, but I was wrong. Basically, I had little friends Freshman year, didn't really come out of my shell until my junior year.

Sophmore year she tried initiating conversation with me a few times and I would humor her briefly (due to me either feeling like a creep or being too shy), we'd do this thing where we'd always sneak glances at each other in the hallways and in class and then neither of us would hold eye contact because we were both too shy. In terms of the popularity bull**** scale, she was probably a notch or two higher than me (for clarity's sake, I'll just refer to it as a scale), so I felt I was out of line going after her.

Then I found this site.

Junior year was awesome in the sense that I embraced my manhood and made several significant improvements in my game. Thanks to a few classes with a few hot girls, I drastically improved on talking to girls and developing a high self esteem. This, in turn, would pay off big my senior year. Now, even though we hung out with different crowds, I was pretty much even with her in terms of popularity - she was with the preps, I had friends in pretty much every group and flirted with the girls that the jocks were hanging around (I know what you're thinking - "omfg, he's measuring in popularity" - yeah, popularity is retarded, but it is everything in high school in terms of getting girls, so bare with me a little longer). I didn't land a girlfriend, but by association with the hot girls, the lower tier girls started showing interest. Honestly, it was a little much too fast, and I didn't really know how to handle it and as a result I probably moved up and down on the scale that year, but ultimately leveled out in a good place.

All throughout Junior year, Girl A still ran through my mind. I found myself daydreaming about her constantly, and I continued to not give her the time of day whenever we passed in the hallway, and whenever I did pass her, I always noticed her posture/voice seemed to perk up as if she was trying to subtly impress me and I did the same. Anything I did with a girl that year just didn't feel right, kind of like I was wishing it was with Girl A instead.

Senior year, current year, and I continued to change. I embraced the qualities of the DJ and did my own thing, and I've had massive success. I've got a lot of girls who wouldn't have even given me the time of day freshman year hanging onto me and I've gotten more attention than I know what to do with (I'm still having to adjust to it, it's hard to be one way your whole life and over the course of a year and suddenly your whole perception of reality is shattered). Honestly, sometimes I feel like a stranger, like I'm not me anymore - that the old me went into limbo at the beginning of Junior year or something - and its kind of weird. I had three classes with Girl A first semester, and since Junior year I've far exceeded her on the popularity scale, and we actually began talking one day. I saw she was completely enraptured with me - doing all of the signs like playing with her hair, hanging on every word I said, etc. I guess while looking at this site and talking to girls I told myself that this would prepare me for talking to her and gaming her, and it actually did. We say hi in the hallways now, and she still plays the "looking game" with me, even though I stopped that at the end of Junior year, I can still see her in my peripherals staring at me in class or w/e. So I know she likes me... but that brings me to this dilemma.

Thank you for staying with me this far, it really means a lot to me (it was kinda hard to pour out my feelings for the last few years on here). I felt like the background story was important for you guys to understand my situation. Again, thank you everyone, I really appreciate it.

To be completely honest, I'm nervous about advancing things on her. I'm nervous how it'll turn out, if her friends will accept me, or if it'll all be a horrible idea. I can get girls hotter than her, but I'm still drawn to her for some reason, and my friends don't think she's that attractive. Normally I could care less what they think, but part of me worries that the main reason why I'm attracted to her is because she's "the one who got away" and was my original pursuit at the start of high school, and if I get into a relationship with her, suddenly I won't find myself on board anymore. She's still with her boyfriend (They've been together a year now and the relationship is straining) and he kind of follows her around and I've noticed she's paid less and less attention to him. He's essentially a beta, but thrust into an alpha position in his little clique (they're around the middle of the popularity scale) and he comes off as a fake. The problem is, I have one class with him this semester and I'm kind of friends with some of his friends. I'm not concerned with if Girl A will respond when I apply pressure, but rather, what happens when she responds. I don't want to be that guy who steals peoples' girls.

I don't know what to do, but I need to make a decision. I'm a 2nd Semester senior and this will be my last chance to ever make anything happen with her. If you guys have anything to offer - advice, criticism, a similar story - please don't hesitate to share it. I need to think this through.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Metaphysical

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trust me there will be thousands more women out there when u finish high school. its not the end of the world lol. its the begining.

this seems like childish bullsh!t to me.

you are too shy? what the heck is that?

ask her on a coffee date. tell her she should go get coffe with you sometime. call her up, meet up with her, talk about her.. get her life story.. then bone her.
 

Smartone84

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I feel you man, but you're not going to get much help on here if the summary of your story is that you just didn't up your game to get with her and that your "nervous" about what to do with her. I dont know what to tell you other than to Man Up and read the bible or the mystery method and get on with life
 

JDA70

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She's got a boyfriend, end of story.
Go out and find another girl that gives you that look
that says plz ask me out.
 
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