I called 'bullsh1t'! And she broke up. Am I in the wrong here?

[8ball]

We've been dating seven months. Everything's cool.

I notice a bad trend developing : She recounts events in a manner NOT consitent w/ reality. It bothers me.

Specifics:

Situation #1: She's due to come to my apt. late at night. I say: "Do you wanna do anything?" She says,"No. I'm too tired, let's order Chinese and stay in.'

Situation #2: We go out for a nice dinner. First restaurant=two hour wait. We both agree that's too long. Second restaurant=40 minute wait. We agree, wait, have a drink, talk and have a good time.

Last Wednesday night : I'm at her place. Taking her to a nice dinner. We bring up movies. She says she wants to see 50 first dates. She says she's going w/ her friends b/c when she came to my place last time I didn't want to go out! WTF? ( See sit. #1 ).

Tonight (Friday). I landed a new job. We want to go out and celebrate. She says she wants to take me to the 2nd restaurant in sit. #2 and get there early so I don't '***** the whole time'. I did no such thing. That REALLY pissed me off. I called her on it and wouldn't back down. She wouldn't either and now we're broken up. I'm really pissed.

I'm I being an idiot? Is she crazy? I need some unbiased opinion here. The one thing I WON'T do is play patsy to some women who makes **** up in her head.

Thoughts?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your last paragraph is unclear!

Regardless, sounds like a 'control' issue. Don't ask her to do things, make a statement. If shee has a worthy excuse - cool. If not a reasonable explanation, then stick to your guns - do not subjugate yourself - be a man.

You are the leader, she folows. If there is an impasse, then let her be the subservient one and do not give in. I'm assuming you are in the right! She is testing your manhood or she wanted to break up with you anyway, and she is using this situation as a reason and may put the blame on you for thr break up - don't buy it!

 

[devgrp]

Originally posted by 8ball
We've been dating seven months. Everything's cool.

I notice a bad trend developing : She recounts events in a manner NOT consitent w/ reality. It bothers me.

Specifics:

Situation #1: She's due to come to my apt. late at night. I say: "Do you wanna do anything?" She says,"No. I'm too tired, let's order Chinese and stay in.'

Situation #2: We go out for a nice dinner. First restaurant=two hour wait. We both agree that's too long. Second restaurant=40 minute wait. We agree, wait, have a drink, talk and have a good time.

Last Wednesday night : I'm at her place. Taking her to a nice dinner. We bring up movies. She says she wants to see 50 first dates. She says she's going w/ her friends b/c when she came to my place last time I didn't want to go out! WTF? ( See sit. #1 ).

Tonight (Friday). I landed a new job. We want to go out and celebrate. She says she wants to take me to the 2nd restaurant in sit. #2 and get there early so I don't '***** the whole time'. I did no such thing. That REALLY pissed me off. I called her on it and wouldn't back down. She wouldn't either and now we're broken up. I'm really pissed.

I'm I being an idiot? Is she crazy? I need some unbiased opinion here. The one thing I WON'T do is play patsy to some women who makes **** up in her head.

Thoughts?

She's crazy. I dated a girl like that. Just forget about her and dont call her. Live well and she will come running back.

 

[squirrels]

Did you at least bang her in Sit. 1?

Assuming it IS her with the twisted view of reality, just drop her.

No lay is worth having to play curator of a mental institution.

 

[sustainable007]

Next her

I think theres more that bothers you then this...I had an X like that...The reality is that her actions are bothering you and they will continue too...dont waste any more time on the *****...pull the trigger, drop the blade and walk...im sure being single is better then dealing with her...IMO: it sounds like this kunt is getting ready to cheat on you...So go for the checkmate right now and put her in her place.

Why put up with an aggravation when there is a girl out there who is funner, more exciting, and more beautiful?

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

So you've been dating for seven months and now you're broken up because she doesn't remember things the same way you do?

There's one of two ways this could be going.

This could be the two of you being entirely too proud/stubborn. I mean really, are you going to throw away seven months of your time, energy, and intimacy because you were squabbling over whether or not you said something once upon a time? Is this how much you to mean to each other?

Secondly this might be indicative of a problem that was already there and waiting for an excuse to break off. One or the both of you might have been harboring resentment or some other negative emotion so long that you really wanted a way out and when this fight came you were only too happy to use this oportunity to show yourself the door.

The answer of course lies within you. Have you been happy in this relationship? Is this an every once in a while thing or have there been problems going on under the surface for a while? Then take action accordingly.

If you two are just being silly, initiate negotiations, but don't admit you're wrong because you're not. Say that you can agree to disagree because that relationship is too important...

If the second scenario fits, use this opportunity to go sarging again with your buddies and throw a breaking up party. What better way to celebrate the end of a bad relationship than getting drunk and laid at the same time?

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

8Ball, one of my exes used to do the same thing. She either had no grasp of reality or she was lying. It used to drive me absolutely nuts. I would call her on these things, and we never broke up over it, but she never admitted being wrong. It was like she honestly believed what she was saying.

Like, for example, this one time I asked her to go with me to dinner with my sister and her new boyfriend. She refused, saying that she felt "uncomfortable" going, and furthermore she didn't want me to go either -- she wanted me to stay with her. Needless to say, I went without her. A week later, she brought it up in an argument, saying that she had to stay at home all night on a Saturday night because I had "refused" to take her with me.

For the rest of our relationship, in her mind, I had "refused" to take her to dinner with me and my sister and her boyfriend. It was like living in some kind of weird twilight zone universe when your girlfriend is constantly making statements in direct opposition to reality, and it's especially maddening when she lies to you about what YOU did. Trust me, you and your sanity are better off.