I broke up with my GF. Good Choice?

[Bokanovsky]

I don't see any situation where this would be alright, unless the friend was gay and/or VERY beta. I mean Fogle type terrible. Even then it's weird and not something girfriend/wife material would do.

Girlfriend/wife material would not be attending a fetish party, period. Not with a male friend, female friend, her mom or by herself. Let's not pretend that going to "fetish parties" is what normal people do.

 

[Married Buried]

She did invite me, and I told her I wasn't interested in going, mainly because I know my ex-wife attends, but I also have no desire to strut around in something that's intended for only her to see.

So then she asked if I minded if she went with a male friend. I wouldn't have minded if it were a female friend. However, I see it as her intentionally being a c0ck tease.

Even a stripper gets more respect from me. At least she dances naked in front of guys who are NOT her friends, and gets paid to do it.

It should have been over when you didn't want to go, she doesn't go either. She is wild and out of control, she is nothing you want to be exclusive with. I let my wife go out but with other women. She never hangs out with other men, she knows it's not going to fly. Interested in foreign women yet? My wife has about 50 hot friends you can choose from.

 

[In2theGame]

Directly from the website:

Lmao i was about to post the same thing.

The basic rule is: "What Happens at the Ball; Stays at the Ball"

Yeeeaaa...... Sounds like a real interesting "Ball".

On a serious note, OP you did the right thing. I know when she mentioned it along with the guy friend, your stomach turned a bit in displeasure. GF going to a "fetish" party with a guy friend.. get the fvck outta here. I dont think so.

Also at the very end of the website it says

"One thing’s for sure: You'll have a special smile on your face for a week after “The Ball”.

I wonder what goes on at this Ball...

 

[zekko]

I told her I wasn't interested in going, mainly because I know my ex-wife attends.

Gee, small world, isn't it?

Could there possibly be a better reason??

Not too many. You did what you had to do, Des.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

It should have been over when you didn't want to go, she doesn't go either.

This^

How does she even think going to something like this without you is even an option?? Like what the fvck is going on here???

I'm seriously fvcking confused. Is this bizarro world SoSuave??

Then you're wondering if this is a good reason to break up with her....

Unless you guys are swingers, then that's one thing. But otherwise.....

WTF dude? Basically what you're asking us if it's okay if she goes to a fetish swingers party with some other guy and bangs other dudes?

I'm assuming this is this chick?:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210705

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=210909

The red flags were there, and pointed out.

I realize you're putting yourself out there by posting this stuff, and it's appreciated. However, myself and a few others told you to walk away from this chick and/or not put up with the $hit she was trying to pull. You pick and choose what advice you're going to take, I get that, some of it's bad and some of it's good. With your experience though you should be able to figure it out and not finding yourself in these fvcked up situations.

 

[Desdinova]

Yup, same chick.

I basically knew what the party was all about, but a visit to the website just verified that I made the right choice.

I had a real smooth seduction with this chick, kept my frame really well, but she doesn't seem to think that a highly-valued guy is worth being highly respected. What matters is that she continues to have the lifestyle of a slore, having her cake and eating it too. That doesn't fly in my world, and it never has. I warned her that I have a low tolerance for bull5hit.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Yup, same chick.

I basically knew what the party was all about, but a visit to the website just verified that I made the right choice.

I had a real smooth seduction with this chick, kept my frame really well, but she doesn't seem to think that a highly-valued guy is worth being highly respected. What matters is that she continues to have the lifestyle of a slore, having her cake and eating it too. That doesn't fly in my world, and it never has. I warned her that I have a low tolerance for bull5hit.

Well, that sucks. And, I think you may have previously looked past some of these flags, maybe as a challenge, or because you thought you could change her. Either way, it came back to you. Sorry for ya man.

Some of us just can't get past these fvcked up women. I've been there. The healthy relationships aren't as fun. But now you're stuck dealing with the consequences.

Back to square one.

 

[dasein]

Congratulations on your freedom! You may be thinking that you overreacted and this was just a "special situation." It never is a one time thing. Once they start down this path they continue until you've been made a proper fool of unless you eject. When they are quality and into you, they never ever do this crap. I have a hunch this kind of thing is her MO once she decides it's time for the power games. She lost, you won. Good luck with NC. Fresh new -higher quality- tail awaits you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What was her response after the breakup?

She kept insisting that it was just to socialize.

If you were that important to her, she would have changed her plans to go when she found out that you didn't want her to. By not doing that, she's saying that the party is more important to her than you are.

I can only imagine that the attached hotel will be full of "after parties" all night long. All kinds of socializing will happen there, too.

 

[zekko]

It may be hard, but I think you should be feeling damn good about yourself right now, Des. There's no question you did the right thing.

I have no problem with S&M, but some things should be kept private. This ball reminds me of the old Roman orgies that were a precursor to the collapse of that empire. Makes you wonder where the US is headed.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Feeling like crap. I need you guys to tell me I'm not crazy for breaking up with my hot GF. She wanted to attend a fetish party with a single male friend.

Good reason?

was she a 20-something woman?

 

[Desdinova]

The hardest part is over, the second hardest is about to come. Where you think about the "good times" and missing having someone to fvk. Stay strong mate and get out for hobbies, activities and meeting girls.

I'm doing better today. I think about how she said it was "just socializing" and remember how my ex-wife used to call it that too. There's a reason that my ex-wife is gone. It most certainly is for the better.

The only thing I think about is her smoking hot body. That chick was definitely good to look at. We didn't really have that much in common and it's been a cold-ass winter, so we didn't go out and do much. We mostly just fvcked. Regardless of how trashy she is, I think about how I seduced her and how amazingly I did it. I have the skills to get the women I want, so I'm not concerned about an inability to replace her.

I'm not really wanting to think about women right now. All I'm thinking about is 5hit that I need to get done. I have house renovations to do, an album that needs to be released, and my blog could use an update.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Just checked out the website and I say NO! HELL NO! would I give my blessing for my exclusive girl to go without me let alone with some dude.

If she refused to accede to your wishes and said she'd go anyway, then you definitely made the right call.
It sucks Des, but a woman who really respects you, would realise the folly of such actions.
Strong stuff man. Respect.

 

[Desdinova]

I think a woman should have an emotional knee-jerk reaction when an idea enters her head that could put her relationship in jeopardy. This girl doesn't seem to possess that mechanism. If she doesn't have that, then she's much more likely to destroy the relationship with her bad decisions.

 

[Scormus]

what else could you do?

Des - is there anything else you could possibly have done to keep her interest high, or sometimes do we just have to accept that we have to let them go no matter how alpha we are and how good we are at keeping their interest high otherwise?

 

[Desdinova]

I don't think it has anything to do with IL. It has to do with respect for the other person in the LTR. The mere idea of going to a fetish party with a male friend shouldn't have even crossed her mind. It would be different if we were just dating, but was a LTR. If she told me "my buddy Dave asked me to go, but I declined" would have raised her value in my eyes.

 

[Scormus]

IL or diss?

I don't think it has anything to do with IL.

Not meaning to give you a hard time, but if she was in love, would she have pulled this stunt?

 

[Bokanovsky]

I don't think it has anything to do with IL. It has to do with respect for the other person in the LTR. The mere idea of going to a fetish party with a male friend shouldn't have even crossed her mind. It would be different if we were just dating, but was a LTR. If she told me "my buddy Dave asked me to go, but I declined" would have raised her value in my eyes.

IL and the amount of respect you get are directly proportional. If she disrespects you, it means that she has low IL. We guys act the same way too. If you have low IL and aren't too worried about losing a particular plate, would you really care if she finds your behaviour disrespectful? I know I wouldn't.

 

[VikingKing]

For those interested, here's a link to the event's website. Note that you cannot dress casually:

http://www.theball.ca/theball/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3&Itemid=3

So she wanted to go to a fetish orgy.

 

[Night-hawk]

You no longer have the burden dealing with a debaucherous stuntress. Better to pluck at the roots with certainty then nip a few buds, because although some doubt raises, you know the blight will come inevitably.