I broke up with my GF. Good Choice?

[Desdinova]

Feeling like crap. I need you guys to tell me I'm not crazy for breaking up with my hot GF. She wanted to attend a fetish party with a single male friend.

Good reason?

 

[goodganji44]

Feeling like crap. I need you guys to tell me I'm not crazy for breaking up with my hot GF. She wanted to attend a fetish. arty with a single male friend.

Good reason?

Needs more details. Maybe you might have jumped the gun a bit. Did you break up with her on impulse or did you see any other red flags that told you it was time to end it?


At any rate, I would've responded to her sht test by hanging out with some of my single female friends since she feels that she has the right to do that. You do too

 

[Desdinova]

Did she just spring this ho sh!t out of nowhere or could you see it coming, at least in hindsight?

I've been keeping my radar on alert. I expect anything related to sex to be kept inside the relationship. She told me it was just "socializing". That's exactly what my ex-wife called it when she was screwing around.

Women having a couple of male friends doesn't bother me, but she has lots of them. She hadn't cut contact with her ex-husband either which I'd previously come down hard on her for.

Just need some validation that I did the right thing. I'm pretty sure most of the other women I dated would be pissed if I wanted to attend a fetish party with one of my female friends.

 

[Albatross953]

I don't think you had any alternative. Chin up man, most guys would have caved. Good man.

 

[GotED?]

This is one of those moment that us DJs dread: when we decide if we are truly a Don Juan or AFC.

You had to choose to keep your frame (and self respect and self love), versus letting her hack away at your manhood.

This is the price to pay for high HB princesses. There's a joke somewhere posted about watch out for hot women bacause you will get burned.

She's probably on her way out the door, branch swinging ready or else she would not take this calculated disrespected move on you.

You know what to do now Des - veteran of this place. Go party hard with new women to lick that wound and look towards a new and better day.

It always comes, no worries.

Be well

Exodus

 

[speed dawg]

She wanted to attend a fetish party with a single male friend.

I don't see any situation where this would be alright, unless the friend was gay and/or VERY beta. I mean Fogle type terrible. Even then it's weird and not something girfriend/wife material would do.

I don't know that I would have broken up with her ultimatum style, though. I think I'd just say that we aren't a couple if that's the things she's going to do, in a very short conversation.

What other red flags has she shown? Have you been losing the frame?

 

[VikingKing]

Fvck yeah that's a good reason. stop doubting yourself. What you did was act like a grown as$ man with self respect.

 

[Desdinova]

I wasn't losing frame, but I was a bit worried about the quality of this woman from early on. She comes from a good family and stuff, so that's what made me keep her around, at least for a while.

It just hit me like a brick. Why on earth would a woman think it was even remotely okay? If we weren't exclusive, it wouldn't have bothered me. But we were official. There's restrictions that come with being exclusive. She kept trying to justify that it was "socializing" and that she "just asked a question". No consideration for how I was feeling about the whole thing.

Low quality woman in a high quality disguise.

 

[zekko]

Just for clarification, when you say "fetish party", are you talking about those parties where they get together and sell sex products like maybe some vibrators, fuzzy handcuffs, and riding crops or whatever? Odd that she's going with a dude, those are usually all women from what I gather. You're not saying she's going to an orgy, right?

Either way, you certainly sound justified. But that doesn't make it any more fun. Younger girls probably need more education on what is appropriate in a relationship and what is not. At that age, and in the current social climate, they tend to figure they can get away with doing anything they want. That's the message the culture and the media sends them. For that reason, I would explain the situation to her and why it is inappropriate and then let her make the decision on whether to follow through or not, knowing the consequences.

Guys here tell you not to give ultimatums, but the way girls are brought up today they don't always know right from wrong. Sometimes you have to play teacher. That way, you define your convictions and stand by them. As long as it is from a strong frame I see nothing wrong with it. Anyway, there are more fish in the sea.

I like speed dawg's reply.

 

[Desdinova]

Just for clarification, when you say "fetish party", are you talking about those parties where they get together and sell sex products like maybe some vibrators, fuzzy handcuffs, and riding crops or whatever?

That's not at all what it is. It's where people dress up in leather, bondage, corsets, lingerie, and go to a bar. IMO, that 5hit should remain in the bedroom when you're in a LTR. It shouldn't be put on public display.

 

[amoka]

That's not at all what it is. It's where people dress up in leather, bondage, corsets, lingerie, and go to a bar. IMO, that 5hit should remain in the bedroom when you're in a LTR. It shouldn't be put on public display.

...and she's going with her guy "friend" rather than you? Very audacious.

 

[pdx1138]

You made the right call. And you know it.

 

[Desdinova]

For those interested, here's a link to the event's website. Note that you cannot dress casually:

http://www.theball.ca/theball/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3&Itemid=3

 

[zekko]

Wow. I wonder if this guy invited her to go, or if it was her idea?
That certainly seems more intimate than I would be comfortable with, sounds like cheating to me.

 

[amoka]

For those interested, here's a link to the event's website. Note that you cannot dress casually:

http://www.theball.ca/theball/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3&Itemid=3

Directly from the website:

The basic rule is:

"What Happens at the Ball; Stays at the Ball"

 

[Desdinova]

What was her response after the breakup?

She kept insisting that it was just to socialize. The thing is, whenever I want to go out and socialize, I don't dress myself up for getting laid.

 

[amoka]

For caution, they suggest:

After “The Ball” Is Over

Everyone is warmly encouraged to make personal arrangements for after “The Ball”.

One good approach is to rent a room at the hotel. Rooms are convenient and affordable at the Osborne Village Inn but remember to book early as the hotel often fills quite quickly on “The Ball” nights.

Having a room at the hotel means that if you get lucky, or just party hard and need to rest for a moment or two, comfort is at hand.

how nice?

 

[Married Buried]

That's not at all what it is. It's where people dress up in leather, bondage, corsets, lingerie, and go to a bar. IMO, that 5hit should remain in the bedroom when you're in a LTR. It shouldn't be put on public display.

Why didn't she invite you? That's why you dumped the b!tch. Instead of inviting you, she goes with another guy? You did the right thing no doubt.

 

[Desdinova]

She did invite me, and I told her I wasn't interested in going, mainly because I know my ex-wife attends, but I also have no desire to strut around in something that's intended for only her to see.

So then she asked if I minded if she went with a male friend. I wouldn't have minded if it were a female friend. However, I see it as her intentionally being a c0ck tease.

Even a stripper gets more respect from me. At least she dances naked in front of guys who are NOT her friends, and gets paid to do it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Feeling like crap. I need you guys to tell me I'm not crazy for breaking up with my hot GF. She wanted to attend a fetish party with a single male friend.

Good reason?

Could there possibly be a better reason?? Please tell me this is a rhetorical question!