"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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I broke up with gf- now want her back

StepItUp

Don Juan
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Okay so I broke up with my girlfriend nearly two weeks ago because she started a really dumb argument we were together for a year, though we knew each other for four and had dated 3 years back as well. Since than first I initiated contact five days after the break up and she told me to where to put it basically and I tried to win her back and she wouldn't budge, then I said I wouldn't talk to her. Then after three days she contacted me and said she wanted to see me to give me my jeans I said ill send a friend and she went on to call me a coward and scared to face her. What would that mean :S, I was thinking maybe she wanted to get back with me anyone?

Then we never actually met because we had huge argument over phone and than met up later that night, though I was with a friend so not much got resolved.

That night I called her and chatted a bit small talk and then next morning she called me to "ask me something" which was very frivalous. That day we exchanged texts and it looked like this.

Her: Reread those msgs from last night n see why I cant talk to you right now. When and if i'm ready to talk to you I will
Me: Okay, be totally honest do you want to make things work with me?
Her: We will talk about it, if things don't change we won't be together
Me: Okay I agree with you we will talk and if it doesn't work we won't be together
Her: Glad your being mature
Me: You too. We need to start being more open and work on things to make it work
Her: And if it doesn't we can say we tried.

Then I left it a day and called her this morning talked a bit she cut conversation because she wanted to go back to sleep, then called me back in an hour and that is where it stands.

Really not sure where this is heading, though I think we are meeting up tomorrow night. I will be honest I do not know if she wants to be with me anymore based on some of this, but I really do love her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Gambler

Senior Don Juan
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StepItUp said:
Okay so I broke up with my girlfriend nearly two weeks ago because she started a really dumb argument we were together for a year, though we knew each other for four and had dated 3 years back as well. Since than first I initiated contact five days after the break up and she told me to where to put it basically and I tried to win her back and she wouldn't budge, then I said I wouldn't talk to her. Then after three days she contacted me and said she wanted to see me to give me my jeans I said ill send a friend and she went on to call me a coward and scared to face her. What would that mean :S, I was thinking maybe she wanted to get back with me anyone?

Then we never actually met because we had huge argument over phone and than met up later that night, though I was with a friend so not much got resolved.

That night I called her and chatted a bit small talk and then next morning she called me to "ask me something" which was very frivalous. That day we exchanged texts and it looked like this.

Her: Reread those msgs from last night n see why I cant talk to you right now. When and if i'm ready to talk to you I will
Me: Okay, be totally honest do you want to make things work with me?
Her: We will talk about it, if things don't change we won't be together
Me: Okay I agree with you we will talk and if it doesn't work we won't be together
Her: Glad your being mature
Me: You too. We need to start being more open and work on things to make it work
Her: And if it doesn't we can say we tried.

Then I left it a day and called her this morning talked a bit she cut conversation because she wanted to go back to sleep, then called me back in an hour and that is where it stands.

Really not sure where this is heading, though I think we are meeting up tomorrow night. I will be honest I do not know if she wants to be with me anymore based on some of this, but I really do love her.
You told me two good clues here....

Number One... She IS still interested. For sure. She just wants to tweak a few problems the two of you are having.

Number Two... You need to STEP BACK A LITTLE! Don't make it seem like you're waiting around for her next text or call, even if you are... You do not want to be taken for granted, and if she knows you are clay waiting to be molded, you will have no control over the situation.

I am not advocating that you play any games here, but just be respectful and firm. No one has to come out "on top" but she needs to feel the emotion of NOT WANTING TO LOSE YOU. Give her the opportunity to feel that way!!!

The Gambler
 

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
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When you break up with a girl, unless it was due to something out of your control like her moving out of state or something like that; make sure the decision is final.

Breaking up then calling her a couple days later makes you look weak.

Furthermore, now you are coming from a weak position and acting like she is the prize to be won.

She knows she has the control and she has you dancing to her moves in her puppet show.

The problem here is the dynamic.

She acts like the man.

And from what you've wrote in your acting like the girl.

Ease off the pedal, make her sweat it out and think you are moving on; only then, when you plant the thought of potential loss will she start behaving and acting like the girl.






PIMP
 
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