I blow when I'm already in!

[drf408]

I've posted a couple of times before, and my problems are mostly related. This is not an attempt to brag, but goes with the story, nothing to brag about since I end up empty handed in the end. I do really well with women, usually (99%) of everyone i dealt with fell into my lap, but the ones I want I fail miserably. I had a case this past weekend, I managed to get a bartender in Vegas out on her off night, she invited me with her friends and my friends came along, once I got there I started to over analyze the hell out of the situation, I do it every time I am with a girl I really want, one I would choose. I pretty much kept my distance from the girl, not wanting to interfere with her and her friends, but it backfired as hardly ended up seeing her at all and at the end she ended up somewhere else.
I got the obligatory text "It was great hanging out with you.." text the next day when I was back in my home state, which I replied and mentioned doing it again, which I got (expectedly) no reply to. This is just 1 example, i shoot myself in the foot repeatedly, I don't think I've been with a girl that was my first choice and all my doing in a long time. It's easy to say "stop over analyzing", I really need to get past this. I don't lack confidence, at least I don't think I do but in these situations..pathetic.

 

[KingBeef]

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it"....."don't create a problem where there isn't one".....

I too at times struggle with "over analyzing" as you would say. It stems from self doubt, and never truly trusting your gut..... at least for me.

From what you're telling me that you do well with women, so I wouldn't worry about....IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN THEM ALL, NO ONE DOES. But if it's still a concern for you, then remember this....

TRUST YOURSELF 100%, AND JUST DO IT...Easier said than done, but so true. A WOMAN IS JUST A WOMAN.....don't create expectations in your head and JUST LET IT ALL HANG OUT. Hope it helps.

- Kingbeef

 

[drf408]

Yeah, problem is its become a problem, I seem to have gotten worse. I do well with women but hardly ever the ones I really want, I often end up in a position to get with the ones I really want then just start the analyzing..i know you cant get them all but im blowing situations that are about easy as can be, and its actually starting to eat at me. I'm worse when a girl shows a strong interest then when they dont..maybe its pressure.

 

[Dannyrt34]

I know exactly what it's like, meeting girls is easy. But when I find one I really want, and the date is a few days away, I start analyzying the hell out of the situation. Like "I wonder if she'll like if I take her here" man even on the date I start wondering if I should say this or that. I analyze every dam thing possible. Like you I'm confident, but run into problems with the absolute top 1% of the girls I really want.

 

[drf408]

LOL, yes the title is bad, i was trying to post while working.

It truly is eating at me, I wouldnt mind losing out if I gave it my all and was myself and didnt happen but when its gift wrapped and I blow it..I do it all way too often, my friends point it out all the time. I am actively trying to get better..

 

[Solomon]

Good advice guys, I never thought about some of your answers
But im the worst when it comes to over-anaylzation omg!!!