"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I banged my friend's wife

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So I know how this sounds, like I'm a jerk, right? And I probably am, but I'm just sharing the experience with you guys.

So some background, my friend Tim and his wife have been married for three years, and ever since I met her she would always give me IOIs. Then after a while those IOI's turned to serious/obvious flirting, and a lot of innuendo (when he wasn't around.) And let me say this, she is rediculously hot. Blonde, crystal blue eyes, 5'11", 120 pounds, and for 120 pounds she has a huge rack and great behind. A knockout.

So Tim is a real estate agent and he left town (Tulsa) to go out to Amarillo Texas for a week and half. So last Sunday my other friend threw an afternoon BBQ at his house and Tim's wife showed up. Later in the day we played a friendly game of street football and after she asked if I wanted to come over to hang out since life was boring for her with Tim out of town.

Of course I went over thinking that nothing was going to happen. So we got home and she was getting super touchy and flirty, but since I have some serious AFC issues I didn't think much of it.

But then comes the kicker, she tells me that we are both sweaty from football and she asked if I wanted to take a shower with her. After I told her that I couldn't do that since she was my friend's wife she told me that she was curious to say what I looked like naked because one of my ex's is her good friend and she heard that I had a big ****. And I asked why she cared since she is married and she said that tim wasn't very big and she was just curious.

And then she started petting and grabbing my **** and it was all over, I couldn't resist, she was too hot and the scenario was too erotic. She took my junk out and she going nuts over me saying "how she needed a real man," and she went down on me for a while then we banged on the couch and floor and took a break after she came, then we went into the bedroom and banged again. In all, we were at it for what seemd like hours.

My friend comes home in a few days and I don't know what to do, she said she wont tell him and now I'm getting these texts from her like "again tonight?" and "it hurt and I loved it."

Is this not a freakin' crazy situation to be in???
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Bvbidd

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Let the wh0re do her job. It's not your fault at all.

LOL @ "It hurt and I loved it."

Anyways, I'd tell the husband though and just play it off like it's her fault. If he gets upset at you then he's a retard. Either way it will break em up and that's what should happen.
 

Maxtro

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Wow, it's like something from the penthouse letters.

Personally I don't think you should tell him. She will most likely tell him eventually. What I would do is slowly back away from your friend over time. Now that you banged his wife your friendship is pretty much over, even if he doesn't know. Doing it this way will avoid a huge blowup when he finds out. And that will pretty much guarantee the death of your friendship.
 

penkitten

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what would earl tell you about karma right now?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Bvbidd

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Oh, the friendship is over either way. But it would be a lot cooler if you just told him straight out.
 

Rex Man

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When Tim comes back, tell him. And then say, "be the bigger man Tim, oh wait, LOL!" Then just laugh in his face, grab your coat, and before making your exit turn back to him and say, "You may be the husband, but I'M the best man!" :rockon:

Pwn!

But seriously, I'd tell him if you're really friends and say fvck it if you're not. BTW, SHE'S the one married and therefore SHE'S the one with the obligations. You're only responsibility here is to tell Tim he's been sticking his (slim) jim in a slutty femme. :up:

Da Cubs!
 

Someone Much cooler

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honsetly most guys would try and kill you for it. not to mention a friend. tisk tisk peeps aight go no loyalty huh? lol well he don't need enemies wit friends like you right? Its is his fault for marring a hoe right? naw not really thats messed up to do to a friend
 

KontrollerX

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Tell your friend about what you've done if you want to get the ever loving hell beat out of you.

Otherwise just stay away from both of them having learned your lesson.

She'll tell him eventually since chicks just can't resist confessing their sins as it brings all that flavor filled drama into their boring lives but it won't matter to you since you'll be away from them both with no fear of being hospitalized or killed.

Your only pain if any then will be guilt over losing a good friend.
 
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Someone Much cooler said:
honsetly most guys would try and kill you for it. not to mention a friend. tisk tisk peeps aight go no loyalty huh? lol well he don't need enemies wit friends like you right? Its is his fault for marring a hoe right? naw not really thats messed up to do to a friend
Hey, it's not like I didn't try to avoid it but she started grabbing my junk. We all know how hard it is to turn back after that. The woman is a freakin' bombshell too, you should have seen how freaky she was. She was all begging me to tape it too but I was like "there is no way I want proof of this around the house!"
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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ER!C L!VE

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You're a male with the username 'shop until I die!'? :cheer: Do you mean like shopping for clothes, groceries, women or ?

heh, besides that. Yea, your relationship with your boy could get really rocky really fast. Especially if you're often around her and him at the same time...

The sexual tension between you and her gets really weird and if she decides to get mad at you, then she'll start badmouthing you to him. Yea.. I hooked up (no sex) with my buddy's girlfriend. Things got really bad as her and I started arguing like an old married couple in front of him. He got the hint and started asking her what was up with her and me. She gave in and blamed it all on me. Good times.

Best of luck my man!
 

Rex Man

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Why didn't you mention the tape thing before? This is starting to smell fishier than that TV dinner from Aldi's!
 

Someone Much cooler

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I feel ya but the question is where would you draw the line? would you do your brothers wife? how far are you willin to go. I have a rule, i do some despicable terrible (no cops here right) things but betrayin a friend ain't one of them. self control is important.
 
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ER!C L!VE said:
Your a male with the username 'shop until I die!'? :cheer: Do you mean like shopping for clothes, groceries, women or ?

heh, besides that. Yea, your relationship with your boy could get really rocky really fast. Especially if you're often around her and him at the same time...

The sexual tension between you and her gets really weird and if she decides to get mad at you, then she'll start badmouthing you to him. Yea.. I hooked up (no sex) with my buddy's girlfriend. Things got really bad as her and I started arguing like an old married couple in front of him. He got the hint and started asking her what was up with her and me. She gave in and blamed it all on me. Good times.

Best of luck my man!
Yeah, I'll continue to shop for women, i.e. keep playing the game.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Rex Man said:
Why didn't you mention the tape thing before? This is starting to smell fishier than that TV dinner from Aldi's!
Because it wasn't completely important to mention it, also it didn't end up happening since I said no to it. That's all.
 

Rex Man

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Ducaro - Finish jerking off before posting

And shop, that's hilarious. Can you beat Tim up? Can you beat her up? j/p
 

ducaro

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shop until I die! said:
So I know how this sounds, like I'm a jerk, right? And I probably am, but I'm just sharing the experience with you guys.

So some background, my friend Tim and his wife have been married for three years, and ever since I met her she would always give me IOIs. Then after a while those IOI's turned to serious/obvious flirting, and a lot of innuendo (when he wasn't around.) And let me say this, she is rediculously hot. Blonde, crystal blue eyes, 5'11", 120 pounds, and for 120 pounds she has a huge rack and great behind. A knockout.

So Tim is a real estate agent and he left town (Tulsa) to go out to Amarillo Texas for a week and half. So last Sunday my other friend threw an afternoon BBQ at his house and Tim's wife showed up. Later in the day we played a friendly game of street football and after she asked if I wanted to come over to hang out since life was boring for her with Tim out of town.

Of course I went over thinking that nothing was going to happen. So we got home and she was getting super touchy and flirty, but since I have some serious AFC issues I didn't think much of it.

But then comes the kicker, she tells me that we are both sweaty from football and she asked if I wanted to take a shower with her. After I told her that I couldn't do that since she was my friend's wife she told me that she was curious to say what I looked like naked because one of my ex's is her good friend and she heard that I had a big ****. And I asked why she cared since she is married and she said that tim wasn't very big and she was just curious.

And then she started petting and grabbing my **** and it was all over, I couldn't resist, she was too hot and the scenario was too erotic. She took my junk out and she going nuts over me saying "how she needed a real man," and she went down on me for a while then we banged on the couch and floor and took a break after she came, then we went into the bedroom and banged again. In all, we were at it for what seemd like hours.

My friend comes home in a few days and I don't know what to do, she said she wont tell him and now I'm getting these texts from her like "again tonight?" and "it hurt and I loved it."

Is this not a freakin' crazy situation to be in???
I think you should tell your friend. If he is smart, he'll kick his wife out. If he is dumb, he'll kick you out. if he is angry, he'll kick both of you out and then you can tell her.. ' yep tonight again!' :rolleyes: what can I say...
 

Play the Game

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ducaro said:
I think you should tell your friend. If he is smart, he'll kick his wife out. If he is dumb, he'll kick you out. if he is angry, he'll kick both of you out and then you can tell her.. ' yep tonight again!' :rolleyes: what can I say...

Or... he'll pick up his gun and kill both of you. Tonight again, and never again. Cut of all contact. You're loosing the friend either way, might as well hit that ass again.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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