I annoy people

[Soh Ronri]

I'm an unkissed 23 year old, and I still act like a ****ing 13 year old retard around people. I try to make conversations and be funny all-the-time. A lot of times I make people laugh, which may be the reason why I still stick to my funny guy shtick. Most of the times I'm trying to make a conversation at work, or a joke, I really don't wanna or I feel it's inappropriate, but I don't wanna end up being the boring, anti-social guy.

The only thing I know is to make people laugh, I can't make a conversation, and I can't shut the **** up. Can somebody help me stop being annoying in social settings?

 

[Soprano]

try being more relaxed and calm. walk slower with your whole body relaxed. more relaxed speech will follow.

 

[CaliGuyInLondon]

seems like you know what your problems are. so just try and concentrate on fixing it. you'd be surprised how much you can control when you are aware of it.

another great thing to do is get a really close female friend. let her know your concerns and that you want to change and she will help you.

 

[Vice]

At least you know what your problems are dude. You're already ahead of other dudes.

Anyway, read "Comedy Writing Secrets", and the best way to be interesting without being annoying is getting the other person to talk about themselves.

 

[Ritch]

You can't make conversation? Well then what do you think you just did writing that post? Sounds like some conversation to me. Just try and find out what the other person is all about. People can still be awesome people if they aren't funny.

 

[Quiksilver]

Focus on your life and the next steps you have to take, be it career/fitness/social/etc. That way, when you're in a convo with 1 or more people, you can guide it in a direction that will help you rather than floundering and looking aimless and dumb.

Also, try to take notice of people you talk to. Do you care about them? Are they friends? Then take an interest in them. Take note of how they look/act/talk and ask them questions. Don't tell jokes or try to entertain them, dig into their mind and figure out what's going on in there. That way you can help them, and they will love you for that; far more than they would had you simply told them a joke.

So, whenever you're talking to someone, run through this checklist:

1) What am I trying to accomplish RIGHT NOW to improve my life? How can I relate these things to this conversation?

2) He/She/They is my friend, what is going on in their life right now, and how can I help them or support them?

You don't even necessarily have to help your friends all the time, but take an interest in them like you'd read the newspaper. Find out what the **** is going on in their world.

Jokes are appropriate a lot of the time, but make humor just another tool in your conversational toolbox.

 

[lugsy211]

Well said Quiksilver.

So! Soh ronri you're a natural comedian? Well then use your natural sense of observation to your advantage, give compliments to your friends. The feel good factor goes both ways. What I mean to say is you think positively of people who are positive to you.

Listen. Listen. Listen. Instead of thinking about whether the joke is appropriate (usually is, just know your limits ie. your principles), think about what exactly is running through the mind of the person you're talking with.