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I am so Confused.

Crazy Asian

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There is a girl that i have oneitis for.
Met her about 2 months ago.
She was interested in me at one point, but then I got scared and started being mean to her.
A week ago I kissed her and told her I liked her.
She told me that she doesn't know if she likes me or not, but she does like another guy a lot.
But this guy is a good looking chode and won't ask her out and she won't make a move either.
Usually I don't have a problem getting girls.
But this is the first girl i've had this feeling for in 2 ****ing years, and even though she doesn't like me, I can't let this feeling go.

I understand that I SHOULD forget about her and move on.
and I will.
but not until I give it everything I've got.
I don't care if she doesn't like me.
I know what I feel for her, and as a man, I cannot let something I care about run away so easily.
I cannot let this go until I know that I have tried my best to win her over.

I am 17, and she is 16.
She's not the usual type of girl.
She likes really really NICE people.
She usually only gives people one chance.
She likes things that are sweet and kind.
She sorta lives in this fairy tale world where she goes for the nice, shy and sweet guy.

Right now, where I stand is she just told me that she doesn't know if she likes me or not (which means no).
We've kissed twice and she says that she's looking for "fireworks", which apparently she didn't feel.
And I just can't stop thinking about her.
I need to know that I've done everything in my power to try and get her, and if that fails, then so be it.

Brothers, after 2 years of trying to improve myself, I've finally found a girl I truly like and care for. I had a chance and messed it up by being mean.
I've waited 2 ****ING years for this and i won't let it go without a fight.
Where do I start?
 
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Halloween

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Is she as young as you are? If he really an AFC like you say?

17 year olds don't encounter AFC's and think to themselves, "oh no, not another one." They haven't yet realized how unfulfilling a relationship with an AFC can be. Give her time.

And don't be so mean!
 

MisterMcGee

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I'd say the hot ones naturally get used to 'nice' guys crushing on them. 17 is not young at all to become 'aware' of AFC behaviour in boys, haha.
 

Halloween

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lol. You're right. I'm probably just getting ooold.

I still think "mean" shouldn't be something anyone strives for when dealing with someone they want to attract. I think the OP needs to let the pendulum swing a little in the other direction.
 

Crazy Asian

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she's 16 and has only kissed 2 guys b4 me and thats it
 

Crazy Asian

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and was i being mean somehow?
cause she said that too
 

madgame

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I think getting laid a lot and getting with a girl (as in LTR) are almost two different games. Of course a lot of things are similar, but there are quite a few differences, imho.

I dont agree with everything on this site and what people say, but I guess the only thing you can do is get over it. I remember I had my last major "oneitis" when I was 20-21, and thought she was so important and I couldnt exist without her. Now, if she gave me a chance to be with her, actually, I wouldn't want to, she's neither that hot nor a great person or anything..must have been brain-wahsed at the time..

my point is you think she's the one and life cant go on without her, but fastforward 3-4 years, look back at her and youll ask yourself "why did I even waste a second of my life worrying about that? pretty silly"
 

Crazy Asian

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I know that madgame.
But what I am feeling RIGHT NOW is very real.
As a man, I cannot let something I care about run away this easily.
I know in the end I will mostly likely not end up with her.
But I could never forgive myself if I don't give it my all to win her back now.
I need to know that I have done everything I can, but if that still doesn't work then fine, at least I tried my best.

So where do i start guys?
I'm too brainwashed by oneitis to think clearly.
I'm putting my trust in you guys.
 

Snowman23

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^ rofl

and people on this site wonder why they can't get girls.
 

Jitterbug

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Crazy Asian said:
Brothers, after 2 years of trying to improve myself, I've finally found a girl I truly like and care for. I had a chance and messed it up by being mean.
I've waited 2 ****ING years for this and i won't let it go without a fight.
Where do I start?
There is no fight here. You can't make a girl attracted to you by fighting some imaginary thing in your head or flatenning your competitor. You didn't mess it up by being mean. She wasn't really attracted to you in the first place.

Didn't I tell you when you were on your naive teenager's lovey dovey high yesterday that even if a girl doesn't sleep around, she can still be bad for you?

Btw congratulation, now you've had a taste of one-itis.
 

Crazy Asian

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look, i know that it won't work out.
but i need to know that at least i tried.
 

zarathustra

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The easiest way to find something is to stop looking for it.

Go ahead try, try, try to your heart's content and she'll blow you off anyway.

Or...roll off, have patience, use the knowledge you have from this forum and she'll eventually come around.

Listen, all the stuff on this forum may seem like bull**** and in a way it is. But the way women rationalize things when it comes to men has such an Alice in Wonderland quality to it that we have to compensate with stuff like this.

Your girl is not special or immune from the dating mores that have been programmed into her head by popular culture, friends or magazines. Follow the material and literature, it will work!
 

GamePlan

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Here's my advice to you:

Start dating other girls. Find another cute hottie and start d ating her. Two things can happen:

1) the girl y ou have a crush on right now will get jealous and go for you

or

2) she won't care about it, but you'll have another girl that you might develop feelings for
 

Crazy Asian

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i am hanging out with other girls.
i had 2 cuties all over me the other night in a movie then at the mall.
but i couldn't feel a thing about them
i couldn't care about them at all.

she knew about it too,
and she's not the type to get jealous.
 
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