Well,what you all of said has hit home. In a good and bad way,and yes,I am obssesed with this/these problem(s). I have been for so long that letting go and finding a solution has seemingly become very hard. I just feel,idk,not good enough or seriously behind everyone else,or a lack of self confidence.
What you said about guy's getting laid before the interner was involved,obviously that's true,but how come some are more successful at it than others? Why is it some people like me,are always so lonely and everyone else isn't,I feel alot of this is the fact that we live in a more increasingly superficial materialistic world.
I realize I have had alot of work to do on myself,esp being happy with myself,that has been quite a problem. Idk,perhaps I am dependent on something else,like people,for that.
You talk about making freinds with women,people,etc. It has seemingly been rather hard for me over the years,both due to trust issues and bitterness. I mean,you talk about women trying to set you up with there freinds and such,something that hasn't been a luxury for me,idk,maybe it is something about myself. I see what you are saying,and that is what has gotten me angry and bitter over the years. I have more to say later.
Yeah,I realize I have spent more time worrying/thinking etc,rather than taking action. That's what else kills me,is all this time put off w/o ever really having reached much I would have liked to by now,for many reasons. I do now realize how I have created this myself,but I still feel bitter towards people/the world for many reasons. I guess it's old wounds. Esp like you said,yeah,no life,few freinds,etc. I have been told before I am my own worst enemy,idk what you say to/call that. I have some hobbies. But I have a thing about groups/hobbies/people,I believe often times,there is alot of superficialness about alot of it.
I mean,maybe I can't get a way out of this,like you said,"Do you understand how you have CREATED your conditions???
do you see now how you continue to propagate your condition, by going so deep inside your head and coming up with excuse after excuse, and issue after issue, until you have wiped yourself out in some sort of self emasculating, effacing dementia?"
I realize I am responsible for myself,but idk,it could be something else. Yeah,I am trying to say look how bad this is,but it is cause I want help with it. Idk,not making comparisons is hard for me. I mean,I know I have to get myself out of this,but I blame others/the world for different reasons as well often. I mean,does my thinking really come off as that backward? Perhaps it comes from being too hard on myself. I just want a way out of this. Alot of it has come from a feeling of a lack of success,esp in the personal area,and with women/girls dating. I mean,it's hard.
I am also concerned about how much viewing porn over the years has shaped/affected this. Also,long term periods of isolation,like to where I would barely go out at all. I mean,it's like I have then,and still now,almost forgotten how to connect w/people. Like I just don't care,I see them as these superficial,idiot,followers,talking about stuff I don't give a fukk about,therefore,they shouldn't.
This part here too: "Talk to women you have met, you already know them, so go ahead and do it. Find out things they like to do, and do those things with them. If you get friendzoned, big deal. You are learning how to interact with women like they are anybody else. Joke with them, smile at them, and talk to a lot of them. Tease them, flirt with them, whatever. Don't push for anything though. Just get a feel for how its done. Give some of your woman friends back-rubs. Don't worry about it, your JUST FRIENDS right" It's like I never had the skills,personality,or maybe even the looks for that. I feel like socially,things are/were/have been set against me almost,thus leading to these feelings. I mean,years have gone by,and this problem remains. I feel like I missed out on the early 20's and all that,so it has led to much bitterness in me.
I mean,it's not like I chose career over personal life,or had much of either to begin with,so it feels like a double stack against me. I mean,as for hobbies/activities,idk,I gues maybe I never had much of an interest in things,or,I never found an outlet,that's what has killed me,is everyone else has,And I haven't. I mean,yeah. I am obsessing again. I mean,this is a feeling of feeling like an undesirable freak who isn't worthy of love,affection,connection(s),while everyone else has it,and I am alone. Like I am apart from the species. I mean,it's not like I chose this,it's more like I can't,as in can't get laid whereas everyone else has and is so experienced,and I am so far behind. I mean,it's more like what I haven't been doing to really try and improve myself,esp in regards to going out,approaching,etc. It always seemed to me you either could get it or not,I think you know how I feel where I fall. I mean,maybe it was certain social enviroments,I have not put in nearly as much effort as I should have,I mean even before,to try and solve this problem,and look at other guys who are my age,and have already been with someone 2,3 years.
"I dont think the sexual dynamic was ever supposed to be this thought out. Its in man's nature to be a man and its in women's nature to be a woman. Dont let society fool you into thinking its more complicated than it is. Ive seen the basic ideas of human nature work when it comes to building sexual relationships. As men it is our job to build our Kingdom and as women it is their job to be our queen. Its as simple as that. All the rest is bull$hit." Yeah,but what does it mean to be a man? Is it physical? Mental? Alpha? Well,as for building a kingdom,what if you don't have one,and what if you get used? I see women as lying,superficial users who only want power,and will take it away.
