"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

I am mad at myself, will never happen again

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
I get a call from my best friend, who quickly becoming my night time running mate, and he tells me that I am going with him to a club we haven't been to yet. I told him I had a girl that was supposed to stop by my house, but I always make 2 sets of plans a night because more times than not, something will cancel itself out, so I would call him back around 8:30 to let him know what I was going to do.

This chick is 25, around a 7, but she is becoming more and more unacctractive every day becuase she acts my age (21). I called her earlier that day, actually she called me and I told her that I wanted to get together and she said she would be free around 8:00.

So I get out of the gym at 7:00, run home and change clothes and call her to let her know I am on my way to pick her up, and she says she isnt ready yet and won't be for "a while" because she is babysitting until her sister comes home from the gym. I could have started an arguement right then and there, but not only is she not worth it, that's the sole reason I make 2 sets of plans a night. I told her to call me back later that night, fully knowing she wouldn't, and called my friend and told him I would go to the club with him.

anyway, he comes over, we have a couple of drinks before we head out, and we get to this joint around 11:00. It's very nice. Suprised I have never been there. It's not a club, but a bar with a live band. He tells me right off of the bat that he invited 2 girls to meet us, which was our reason for going. This is very important becuase it will be a recurring theme.

I had on a Kenneth Cole pinstripped blazer with a stripped french cuff shirt underneeth with some diseal jeans and some puma's that matched my shirt perflectly as well as a trucker hat, I can easily say I was the best dressed guy in the joint, and I usually am, I live in Arkansas, no one down here has taste or sense of style. I had not 1, not 2, but 3 women not only give me "buying" signals, but actually come up to me and say "you look very nice" or " you are the best dressed guy here". One girl told me I needed to teach all the white guys (I am black) how to dress. The waiter gave me a free drink. Now that's 4 clear cut chances I had to close, and not one of them were ugly, hell the first woman that came up to me was a clear 8.5 at worst, but I was invited her to meet someone and I felt that it owuld have been too much drama if I started to talk to someone and then this chick came. Not only that, even if she was ugly, my job as a wingman was to keep the "friend" busy so my best friend could do his thing, that's what wingmen are for.

Okay this chick gets her, and she is actually not bad looking. In fact she was kinda nice. Mexican, a little thick, but not much at all, I just like really skinny women. Around a 7-8.5 depending on your taste. Now here it the funny part. She brought a guy, who I actually know because he is the local radio person, who I presumed was her BF.

So know I am sitting here with my friend and his girl, and this cute girl and her BF.

She had to tell me at least 3 times that I looked really nice, and kept asking me for favors, and asked was I from around here and things like that, also she had her back turned from her BF the entire time, but that wasn't the point. Even if I wanted to talk to her, the fact that he is a radio person means he can get on the air and blackball me the next morning. I laughed it off and ordered something to drink.

I don't think my friend knew that she was brining her "friend" with her, but nevertheless I could have closed on some really cute women if I would have known.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Pimp-sicle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2003
Messages
2,457
Reaction score
101
Location
Pimpsylvania
The only mistake you made was not closing on anyone of those 4 chances you had with the women at the bar. Who gives a flyin' fuvk if there was another girl coming to meet you guys and you # closed the waitress?? That girl turned out to have a bf or guy-friend anyways. You should never make apologies or excuses to yourself as to why you "can't" do something.

Don't do that again bro, you said yourself you already stand out due to your good sense of style. Go get some byatches.



PIMP
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,546
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
I put being a good wingman above talking to chicks anyday. The sole purpose of me going with him was to distract her friend that she was bringing along. i can't do that if I am mixing it up with 4 other women.

However, I will not let something like that happen again. I felt like total ****... besides the fact that i had downed 4 Barcardi Silvers and 2 glasses of papiya juice and gin... and something will just have to give.

However there will be other nights
 

JJMcLure

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Messages
840
Reaction score
11
If she saw you talking to those other chicks, the Mexican chick would have been more attracted to you when she finally showed up anyway.

You could have at least occupied your time with them until she showed. Warm up your game on them until she arrived.

I would have asked who the the guy was to her. If they were anything more than friends, I would have bailed and gone found those four other chicks you talked about. DJ boy can more than occupy her for your wingman so you're not letting him down.

Never put excuses in the way of closing a chick. Because sh1t does happen - like it did here.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Top