I am getting WORST

[rushing dude 123]

I have been doing approaches here and there, but i would say it averages one 2-10 min approach every 2 days, which totally sucks!!!!!!!!!!!. I am kind of improving, but not at the rate i hoped to, my skills to talking to strangers who r not attractive women on the other hand have heavily improved. The things that r taking me out is losing my confidence and not even attempting to think of something to say. Like i would say to myself i won't approach anyone now, maybe after i have come back from my friends and i never do aproach when i come back.............. Then i can do quite well with women who i do have the gutts to approach and i basically keep thinking how well i done, in a stupid arrogant way, which is not don juan, i should b thinking could of i improved the situation and i need more practice so i will find another. I also had some harsh crash and burns, which make me think all girls will b has rude has that. Lack of sleep is also bad seeing i get up at 1-2 pm.

I need to change. i will read a few posts from dj bible to hopefuly clear my mind, being a dj is a state of mind and i lost site of that.

 

[Bvbidd]

Cold approaching is really overated. I don't know why people would do it unless they don't have any friends.

BTW Lack of sleep should only improve your game, concidering the longer you go without sleep the more your brain shuts down. Which means you don't get all those annoying social awareness signals. lol

 

[MagnuM]

Cold approaching is really overated. I don't know why people would do it unless they don't have any friends.

BTW Lack of sleep should only improve your game, concidering the longer you go without sleep the more your brain shuts down. Which means you don't get all those annoying social awareness signals. lol

This is the single worst piece of advice I have ever seen on this site.

 

[Bvbidd]

The lack of sleep thing was a joke.

 

[sandman6991]

What about the first part?

I have TONS of friends...what does that have to do at ALL with cold approaching?

 

[Rex Man]

No bvbidd, rushing dude's grammer and spelling is a joke.

ok, rushing dude, what the hell do you want us to say? You need to get in the mindset before you even go out that you WILL talk to chicks. We can't do that for you.

.......oh wait, you're from London. In that case..........do it for the QUEEN! THE QUEEN!

 

[Rex Man]

What about the first part?

I have TONS of friends...what does that have to do at ALL with cold approaching?

Nothing. It's what scared AFC's say to make them feel good about being pvssies. Their concept is that they will only talk to girls through connects from friends and such.

Well I don't know about some of you guys, but I'm mainly the one doing the connecting. And you know how I meet about 75% of these girls? That's right, by grabbing my cojones and approaching. (Or just approaching )

 

[sandman6991]

Nothing. It's what scared AFC's say to make them feel good about being pvssies. Their concept is that they will only talk to girls through connects from friends and such.

That would suck. With that position, you're entirely at the mercy and luck of friends/connections. I don't want to waste my life waiting for something to happen. I like to have things in my own hands. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself. Take control of your life or be controlled...I like the first. If I fail, I want no one to blame but myself so I can learn from it and not fail the next time.

 

[Answers]

You shouldn't be too hard on yourself but watch and learn from your mistakes. Think of mistakes as a valuable lesson!

 

[Alkali]

You're getting worse. Worse.

 

[tigerstyle]

Quit approaching with an "end game" or "close" in mind for a while.

Someone recently told me that his only goal (at first) with approaching women is to make the smile and laugh, bring a little light into their day -- not just approaching to get a number. Once he's accomplished the smile and laugh, he's REACHED his goal and can go on from there if he pleases.

Best advice I've gotten in a long time; it truly makes approaches a lot easier and fun.

 

[~attrACTION~]

Personally, I think the problem is that you see them as "cold approaches" and not just socializing. I've improved greatly over that past few months by just throwing all this bullsh!t out the window. Stop thinking about whether it's an approach an IOI or whatever. Just go with your gut instinct and talk to the girl. You have to stop treating like it's some big freaking deal.

It's not cold approaching. It's called talking to people. Girls are people just like you and me. They won't eat you.

I think the problem I used to have is that I thought I had to approach all the time. Or that there was something wrong with me, like I was a wuss for not approaching. No way man, sometimes you just don't feel like it. You don't have to approach every vagina with legs.

Don't treat approaching like it's a chore. You talk to whoever you want, do whatever you want. Go out and live the day to the fullest extent. Be active in your work, school, and with people. Don't sit passively watching it go by. When you're active in life, not only is it easier to start conversations with women, they will be drawn to YOU.

All I'm saying is that this whole "cold approaching" thing is piece of crap. Guys talk to girls they don't know all the time. You geeks are making to much of a big deal of it. Once you stop thinking about the whole "cold approaches" and the BS terminology, what would a DJ do or whatever, that's when you start to get it. Focus on yourself, your goals, and just fly.

Life is just an experiment. You're going to die just as I'm going to die. Don't you feel like we're all racing around the clock everyday but no one truly gets anywhere? So break the freaking cycle for once. Take a risk, do something stupid, be spontaneous. Once you start doing that, stuff like talking to girls will fall into play. I'm not saying I'm a super-seducer, just saying I don't have problems talking with girls mostly because I don't make it an issue.

You're making it an issue. Most of these guys that you guys call so-called AFCs are 100x better at just starting conversations with women. Who cares if they compliment women, you guys don't even have the balls to walk up to them. All they need is a little change in mindset...you guys, however, sound like you need someone to hold your hand through the interaction.

That's all folks. Just stop thinking so much.

 

[~attrACTION~]

double post.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Relaaaaaaaaaaaz, take a deep breath, just reading your post I felt like you typed all that in one breath.

you are doing good. You are approaching, that's what matters. Don't put yourself too much pressure, you are doing something. You need to realize that and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for when you do something good as well.