I am failing at asking for the number

[leoncour]

Today I had my hair cut by an attractive hair stylist (at Supercuts). We had a decent conversation, and I was kind of attracted to her, and she seemed receptive and gave me a nice smile, but I didn't number close. And that occured when I was studying at a Barnes and Noble the other day and a cute girl sat down near me. We conversed for a bit but I left and didn't number close.

I realize that the man must initiate everything, because obviously a girl never has and never will, or else I would have gotten more action than I have (I am 26 years old and haven't kissed a girl). I think, that deep down, the reason I have been reluctant to ask a girl out is because I am afraid of starting a relationship and letting her know me. And the reason for that is probably because even after all these years I still really don't like myself.

So obviously I need to work on my self esteem. I guess I should focus on doing things that I enjoy, such as surfing, mountain biking, hiking etc. Also I should buy some nicer clothes because I don't really dress well. and also excercise and eat better...anyone have any thoughts or can relate to what I just said?

 

[rocky_mtn]

The hair stylist probably cuts 2 dozen guys hair per day, asking her out is like asking out the waitress. She makes conversation and acts friendly with you because that's part of her job. Nothing bad on you, just how it is. Getting her number isn't the best route, imo.

On the other hand, Barnes and Nobles is a good place to pick up women. Talking with her is a good step, no biggie on the # close. Try it next time.

But the big issue from what you have written, is your self esteem. I can totally relate to what you are saying. I used to be very unhappy with life and myself too.

I gave this advice before here, but will say it again. Get out a pen and paper and write a story about a guy who is just like yourself and in the same position in life that you are, list you problems and frame them as obstacles, not as defeators. Next chapter, write about how he starts to turn things around a little bit at a time. List out some steps and actions that this guy could take. Write about what he enjoys doing in life, activities that make him happy and feel fulfilled. Finish up the story by writing what goals you would like to achieve in life, list out some steps, actions, and timeline that this guy followed to turn his life around. Then go live it, follow the story. We don't get any dress rehearsals or second takes and theres no script to follow. Making up your own script helps to shape your outcome.

 

[leoncour]

Thats a very interesting suggestion rocky, I'm going to try that approach. I write sometimes in a journal anyways so I'll try that too. Thanks man.