"I Am..." dangers

[So pimp its scary]

Sounds like a strange warning?
What could possibly be wrong with "I Am..." statements?

(Keep in mind that much of what I'm describing does not happen on a conscious level)

I first have to mention that there are alot of times where stating who you are will be neutral, actually most of the time it is.

When people say things like :

- I am enthusiastic
- I am a fun person
- I am a DJ

They are actually placing their whole existance as being 'enthusiastic', 'a fun person', or 'a DJ'. There is no problem with this, everyone does it.

However, I've read this many times throughout this site, or talking to friends :

- I am depressed
- I am an shy
- I am an addict
- etc.

The problem is that when a person says that they are 'depressed' they are placing their whole essence as being equivalent to this one singular emotion that they might feel from time to time.

To say, "I feel depressed right now" is less of an emotional burden because it presupposes that the depression is temporary, that it will be removed. Rather then a permanent and unchangeable aspect of your being.

Does language really effect you as much as this?

If someone is saying that 'I am shy', it is a way of accepting their current behavior and justifying it as something that they cannot help because it simply is 'just the way they are'. If instead the person says, 'I tend to be shy' he is also just stating his preferencial behavior, which he uses because it will stop him from feeling the pain of going out risking rejection and NOT being shy.

There have been studies that show that a person in drug rehab that states 'I am an addict' rather then 'I have an addiction' will be very much less likely to stay clean, or stay clean for as long (on average) as the person that would say the latter.

How can this be?

When a person says, 'I am an addict', he is admitting that the addiction is a part of who he is, and to remove that part from him will not feel natural because of that... it would cause too much pain (of uncertainty) to remove a part of his personality.

Instead, when a person says, "I have an addiction" they are describing an ailment (addiction) that they would like to 'cure'. So they are going to be more accepting of the change in behaviors because it's not seen as a part of who they are but rather an affliction that they suffer from that can be removed.

The moral here is to watch out for the language that you use, and to not turn some minor affliction, or any singular emotion that you might be feeling at a given moment in time to be transferred into your definition of who you are.

(Credit Tony Robbins for the information)

 

[Dirtheart]

A number of people on this board doubt the power of affirmations, but by saying "I am confident" and "I am calm", you are aware of and will try to prevent any negative behaviour that contradicts these affirmations. But by affirming "I am a clumsy idiot", whenever you make mistakes you'll think "Oh well, that's just the way I am" and continue doing it.

Anyway, great post. This is advice I live by and it never fails me.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I'm actually not talking about 'Affrimations', at least not in the typical sense of saying "There's no weeds, there's no weeds. Theres' no weeds." (The weeds will still be there untill you do something about it)

I'm talking more about the words that you use in everyday conversations. The person that believes that the "ARE confident" will almost always prevent themselves from the actions that show that they are NOT confident.

It's rather a way of affirming your current actions, and keeping them as ACTIONS, or a symptoms, or afflictions (whatever the case may be) instead of turning them into a definition of who you are as a human being, and thus taking away any motivation that you might have to change these things.

 

[Titus]

I am... pregnant?

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by Titus
I am... pregnant?

I never touched you! You're going to have to trick some other girl into marrying you! Not me!

Funny stuff!

 

[diplomatic_lies]

I noticed most people who say something never do it.

"I am rich." -Usually on the Internet (never true)
"I am smart" -MENSA claimant, also never true in most cases
"I am gay" -Well this one is probably true


If a girl makes any claims with "I am", I usually become suspicious, because if she really was, then she'd show it, not say it

 

[So pimp its scary]

diplomatic_lies, you're looking at this as a different issue...

I'm not so much talking about the specific dangers of people saying : "I am this" or "I am that".

I'm talking about being careful not to describe the whole of your being based on the state that you are feeling at the moment.

I'll use this example to illustrate my point :

You : I'm depressed.
Me : So you are depression... this whole time I thought your name was Rob.