I am attracted to women that are a challenge, then lose interest.

[BobCarlton]

This has been a pattern of mine for A LOT of women.

I meet girl. I am excited about her.

I pursue her, put in effort, think about her, and eventually get her.

After I've slept with her, I begin to lose interest. I force myself to see her a few more times after that, but then at that point it's a huge chore and I don't care about them anymore.

Again, when I first meet them I am VERY attracted to them and disappointed and upset when it doesn't work out... but when I hook up with them, that's out the window.

I end up moving onto ANOTHER girl.

Why is this? Does anyone know the reasoning/psychology behind it? How can I stop this?

 

[mahoney]

you do what the failures on here do - you project onto them what you wish they were like. You don't like them particularly, you like the ideal you have created for them in your head. Afterwards, reality intrudes

The main difference is you succeed with them, the failures do not. The failures never reach this point, and continue with their imagined versions of the girl instead of the reality

 

[BobCarlton]

Very true Mahoney.

But I think everyone does that... because attraction is an EMOTION and when you're attracted to them, you will look beyond the "reality" or logical reasons why they aren't good for you.

How can you overcome idealizing people? Any suggestions?

 

[bigneil]

I think it's normal Bob (says the 40 year old bachelor).

It's the thrill of the chase. At least you don't fall in love with every girl you sleep with.

How do you avoid idealizing them? Sleep with them, as you've noted.

 

[European-DJ]

Honestly ... I am A LOVE FREAKSHOw .. I fall in love with every girl i chase .. but just like you, when i **** them, i do not give a **** .

- If it is a One night stand, i "Think" i am in love with her, until the next time i bed her.. then i lose interest again..

If you wanna learn something about it, read Postmodern psychology - if you kniow what you are looking for, then the explenation can be found there

 

[f283000]

you do what the failures on here do - you project onto them what you wish they were like. You don't like them particularly, you like the ideal you have created for them in your head. Afterwards, reality intrudes

The main difference is you succeed with them, the failures do not. The failures never reach this point, and continue with their imagined versions of the girl instead of the reality

Thanks for this. I made a thread about this very issue not too long ago.

It has been a difficult issue to deal with.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Maybe your'e HPD! What you described is exactly what HPD chicks do!

 

[teddy240]

Who said this a problem? You see something you like, pursue it, and lay it? Then you move to the next. Sounds like you get what you want. Roll with it